History Funny / MortalInstruments

21st Dec '14 11:10:35 AM Anddrix
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!City of Bones:
* Clary: "What would demons," she said, "want with our microwave?"
* When Jace tells Clary not to touch his weapons:
-->"Well, there goes my plan for selling them all on eBay," Clary muttered.
-->"Selling them on ''what''?"
-->Clary smiled blandly at him. "A mythical place of great magical power."
* After Isabelle describes Magnus healing Alec:
-->"I don't remember any of it," said Alec.
-->"Then he sat by Alec's bed all night and into the morning to make sure he woke up okay," Isabelle added.
-->"I don't remember that, either," Alec added hastily.
* Clary and Magnus at his party:
-->Clary: Is it in honor of anything?
-->Magnus: My cat's birthday.
-->Clary: Oh. Where's your cat?
-->Magnus: I don't know. He ran away.
* Clary and Jace:
-->Clary: Is this the part where you start tearing off strips of your shirt to bind my wounds?
-->Jace: If you wanted me to rip my clothes off, you should have just asked.
* Jace, discussing a prophecy from Madame Dorothea.
-->Dorothea: Have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet?
-->Jace: Unfortunately, Lady of the Haven, my one true love remains myself.
-->Dorothea: At least you don't have to worry about rejection, [[FullNameBasis Jace Wayland]].
-->Jace: Not necessarily. I turn myself down occasionally, just to keep it interesting.
* Jace, "translating" a tombstone for Clary:
-->It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'.
[[spoiler: When they find the Mortal Cup...]]
-->Jace: Somehow, I thought it would be bigger.
-->Isabelle: It's the [[spoiler: Mortal Cup, Jace, not the Mortal Toilet Bowl.]]
* Clary calling Alec a dickhead, then his stunned "''What'' did you call me?"
* From the film adaptation:
-->Simon (to Jace): "Simon Lewis. [[Film/GhostBusters Key Master. Are you the Gatekeeper]]?"
* Also from the film:
-->'''Lily:''' You're a cold-blooded killer!\\
'''Jace:''' [[DeadpanSnarker As opposed to what, a peace-loving killer?]]
* In the film adaptation [[spoiler: Demon Dorothea, during her attempt to escape the Shadowhunters, attempts to close her door. Said door is missing its lower half. She then places a piano in front of it.]]
* Also in the film, Madame Dorothea refuses to let Jace inside her apartment if he's armed, and insists he leave his swords outside. He takes out one sword and dumps it, then a knife. Then another sword, [[ExtendedDisarming then another knife, then more knives, then some more knives, and even when he's finished and holds out his hands to show he's unarmed, she points to his boot and he takes out one more knife.]]
* In the film, Magnus spots our heroes, but agrees to let them stay "because of the hot one." Jace, Clary, and Izzy say thanks. . . only for him to clarify that he meant Alec.
!City of Ashes:
*
--> Alec: "I- I fell."
--> Jace: "On your ''neck''?"
*
--> Magnus: "Is he dead? He looks dead."
--> Maryse: "No. He's not dead."
--> Magnus: "Have you checked? I could kick him if you want."
--> Inquisitor: "Stop that!"
*
--> Magnus: "There's no need to clarify my finger snap. The implication was clear in the snap itself."

*
--> Simon (regarding Magnus): "Is standing by the window muttering about blood something he does all the time?"
--> Jace: "No, sometimes he sits on the couch and does it."
* After [[spoiler: Simon gets turned into a vampire]], Luke wanted to help him, so he bought Simon a pamphlet... called "How to Come Out to your Parents".
*
--> Clary: "Jace must have done something last night on the boat, something that really pissed Valentine off. Pissed him off enough to abandon whatever plan he had before and make a new one."
--> Luke: "What makes you think that Valentine's change of plans had anything to do with [Jace]?"
--> Clary: "Because only Jace can piss someone off that much."

!City of Glass
* At the celebration:
-->Isabelle: "Anyway, it's yummy. Jace?"
-->Jace: "I am a man, and men do not consume pink drinks. Get thee gone, woman, and get me something brown."
-->Isabelle: "Brown?"
-->Jace: "Brown is a manly color. In fact, look--Alec is wearing it."
-->Alec: "It was black, but then it faded."

to:

!City of Bones:
* Clary: "What would demons," she said, "want with our microwave?"
* When Jace tells Clary not to touch his weapons:
-->"Well, there goes my plan for selling them all on eBay," Clary muttered.
-->"Selling them on ''what''?"
-->Clary smiled blandly at him. "A mythical place of great magical power."
* After Isabelle describes Magnus healing Alec:
-->"I don't remember any of it," said Alec.
-->"Then he sat by Alec's bed all night and into the morning to make sure he woke up okay," Isabelle added.
-->"I don't remember that, either," Alec added hastily.
* Clary and Magnus at his party:
-->Clary: Is it in honor of anything?
-->Magnus: My cat's birthday.
-->Clary: Oh. Where's your cat?
-->Magnus: I don't know. He ran away.
* Clary and Jace:
-->Clary: Is this the part where you start tearing off strips of your shirt to bind my wounds?
-->Jace: If you wanted me to rip my clothes off, you should have just asked.
* Jace, discussing a prophecy from Madame Dorothea.
-->Dorothea: Have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet?
-->Jace: Unfortunately, Lady of the Haven, my one true love remains myself.
-->Dorothea: At least you don't have to worry about rejection, [[FullNameBasis Jace Wayland]].
-->Jace: Not necessarily. I turn myself down occasionally, just to keep it interesting.
* Jace, "translating" a tombstone for Clary:
-->It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'.
[[spoiler: When they find the Mortal Cup...]]
-->Jace: Somehow, I thought it would be bigger.
-->Isabelle: It's the [[spoiler: Mortal Cup, Jace, not the Mortal Toilet Bowl.]]
* Clary calling Alec a dickhead, then his stunned "''What'' did you call me?"
* From the film adaptation:
-->Simon (to Jace): "Simon Lewis. [[Film/GhostBusters Key Master. Are you the Gatekeeper]]?"
* Also from the film:
-->'''Lily:''' You're a cold-blooded killer!\\
'''Jace:''' [[DeadpanSnarker As opposed to what, a peace-loving killer?]]
* In the film adaptation [[spoiler: Demon Dorothea, during her attempt to escape the Shadowhunters, attempts to close her door. Said door is missing its lower half. She then places a piano in front of it.]]
* Also in the film, Madame Dorothea refuses to let Jace inside her apartment if he's armed, and insists he leave his swords outside. He takes out one sword and dumps it, then a knife. Then another sword, [[ExtendedDisarming then another knife, then more knives, then some more knives, and even when he's finished and holds out his hands to show he's unarmed, she points to his boot and he takes out one more knife.]]
* In the film, Magnus spots our heroes, but agrees to let them stay "because of the hot one." Jace, Clary, and Izzy say thanks. . . only for him to clarify that he meant Alec.
!City of Ashes:
*
--> Alec: "I- I fell."
--> Jace: "On your ''neck''?"
*
--> Magnus: "Is he dead? He looks dead."
--> Maryse: "No. He's not dead."
--> Magnus: "Have you checked? I could kick him if you want."
--> Inquisitor: "Stop that!"
*
--> Magnus: "There's no need to clarify my finger snap. The implication was clear in the snap itself."

*
--> Simon (regarding Magnus): "Is standing by the window muttering about blood something he does all the time?"
--> Jace: "No, sometimes he sits on the couch and does it."
* After [[spoiler: Simon gets turned into a vampire]], Luke wanted to help him, so he bought Simon a pamphlet... called "How to Come Out to your Parents".
*
--> Clary: "Jace must have done something last night on the boat, something that really pissed Valentine off. Pissed him off enough to abandon whatever plan he had before and make a new one."
--> Luke: "What makes you think that Valentine's change of plans had anything to do with [Jace]?"
--> Clary: "Because only Jace can piss someone off that much."

!City of Glass
* At the celebration:
-->Isabelle: "Anyway, it's yummy. Jace?"
-->Jace: "I am a man, and men do not consume pink drinks. Get thee gone, woman, and get me something brown."
-->Isabelle: "Brown?"
-->Jace: "Brown is a manly color. In fact, look--Alec is wearing it."
-->Alec: "It was black, but then it faded."
[[redirect:Funny/TheMortalInstruments]]
21st Nov '14 7:26:51 PM Andyzero
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* In the film, Magnus spots our heroes, but agrees to let them stay "becuase of the hot one." Jace, Clary, and Izzy say thanks. . . only for him to clarify that he meant Alec.

to:

* In the film, Magnus spots our heroes, but agrees to let them stay "becuase "because of the hot one." Jace, Clary, and Izzy say thanks. . . only for him to clarify that he meant Alec.
21st Nov '14 7:26:41 PM Andyzero
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* Also in the film, Madame Dorothea refuses to let Jace inside her apartment if he's armed, and insists he leave his swords outside. He takes out one sword and dumps it, then a knife. Then another sword, [[OverlyLongGag then another knife, then more knives, then some more knives, and even when he's finished and holds out his hands to show he's unarmed, she points to his boot and he takes out one more knife.]]

to:

* Also in the film, Madame Dorothea refuses to let Jace inside her apartment if he's armed, and insists he leave his swords outside. He takes out one sword and dumps it, then a knife. Then another sword, [[OverlyLongGag [[ExtendedDisarming then another knife, then more knives, then some more knives, and even when he's finished and holds out his hands to show he's unarmed, she points to his boot and he takes out one more knife.]]
13th Nov '14 1:53:54 PM hujwernoo
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--> Luke: "What makes you think that Valentine's change of plans had anything to do with your brother?"

to:

--> Luke: "What makes you think that Valentine's change of plans had anything to do with your brother?"[Jace]?"
25th Oct '14 11:08:35 PM agent314
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Added DiffLines:

*In the film, Magnus spots our heroes, but agrees to let them stay "becuase of the hot one." Jace, Clary, and Izzy say thanks. . . only for him to clarify that he meant Alec.
23rd Apr '14 8:32:59 AM OboeQueen98
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Added DiffLines:

[[spoiler: When they find the Mortal Cup...]]
-->Jace: Somehow, I thought it would be bigger.
-->Isabelle: It's the [[spoiler: Mortal Cup, Jace, not the Mortal Toilet Bowl.]]
15th Mar '14 4:11:54 PM 04tele
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Added DiffLines:

* Also in the film, Madame Dorothea refuses to let Jace inside her apartment if he's armed, and insists he leave his swords outside. He takes out one sword and dumps it, then a knife. Then another sword, [[OverlyLongGag then another knife, then more knives, then some more knives, and even when he's finished and holds out his hands to show he's unarmed, she points to his boot and he takes out one more knife.]]
18th Jan '14 5:54:23 PM Andyzero
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Added DiffLines:

*
--> Clary: "Jace must have done something last night on the boat, something that really pissed Valentine off. Pissed him off enough to abandon whatever plan he had before and make a new one."
--> Luke: "What makes you think that Valentine's change of plans had anything to do with your brother?"
--> Clary: "Because only Jace can piss someone off that much."
21st Dec '13 2:02:57 PM primeyandereheika
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* In the film adaptation [[spoiler: Demon Dorothea attempting to close her door, which is missing the lower half. Grunting, she places a piano in front of the door.]]

to:

* In the film adaptation [[spoiler: Demon Dorothea attempting Dorothea, during her attempt to escape the Shadowhunters, attempts to close her door, which door. Said door is missing the its lower half. Grunting, she She then places a piano in front of the door.it.]]
21st Dec '13 2:01:01 PM primeyandereheika
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Added DiffLines:

* In the film adaptation [[spoiler: Demon Dorothea attempting to close her door, which is missing the lower half. Grunting, she places a piano in front of the door.]]
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