History Funny / MontyPythonsFlyingCircus

26th Mar '18 11:44:22 PM mlsmithca
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-->'''Announcer''': Yes! Whenever bicycles are broken, or menaced by International Communism, Bicycle Repair Man is ready! [[DirtyCommunists Ready to smash the communists, wipe them out, and shove them off the face of the earth!]]... ''[voice rises hysterically]'' Mash that dirty red scum, kick 'em in the teeth where it hurts! Kill! Kill! Kill! The filthy ####### commies, I hate 'em! I hate 'em! AAAUUUUUUURRRRGH!\\

to:

-->'''Announcer''': Yes! Whenever bicycles are broken, or menaced by International Communism, Bicycle Repair Man is ready! [[DirtyCommunists Ready to smash the communists, wipe them out, and shove them off the face of the earth!]]... ''[voice rises hysterically]'' Mash that dirty red scum, kick 'em in the teeth where it hurts! Kill! Kill! Kill! The filthy ####### bastard commies, I hate 'em! I hate 'em! AAAUUUUUUURRRRGH!\\



'''Shopkeeper:''' Well, it's as near as ######!\\

to:

'''Shopkeeper:''' Well, it's as near as ######!\\dammit!\\



** The sketch ends with the studio audience booing, then a StronglyWordedLetter is being read:
--->Dear Sir, I am glad to hear that your studio audience disapproves of the last skit as strongly as I. As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs? Yours etc. Captain B.J. Smethwick in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.

to:

** * The lifeboat sketch ends with the studio audience booing, then a StronglyWordedLetter is being read:
--->Dear -->Dear Sir, I am glad to hear that your studio audience disapproves of the last skit as strongly as I. As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs? Yours etc. Captain B.J. Smethwick in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.



Stupid #####!-\\

to:

Stupid #####!-\\bitch!-\\



'''Charles Dickens (Terry Jones)''': You #######!

to:

'''Charles Dickens (Terry Jones)''': You #######!
bastard!
25th Mar '18 7:22:31 PM OzGuy
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-->'''Announcer''': Yes! Whenever bicycles are broken, or menaced by International Communism, Bicycle Repair Man is ready! [[DirtyCommunists Ready to smash the communists, wipe them out, and shove them off the face of the earth!]]... ''[voice rises hysterically]'' Mash that dirty red scum, kick 'em in the teeth where it hurts! Kill! Kill! Kill! The filthy bastard commies, I hate 'em! I hate 'em! AAAUUUUUUURRRRGH!\\

to:

-->'''Announcer''': Yes! Whenever bicycles are broken, or menaced by International Communism, Bicycle Repair Man is ready! [[DirtyCommunists Ready to smash the communists, wipe them out, and shove them off the face of the earth!]]... ''[voice rises hysterically]'' Mash that dirty red scum, kick 'em in the teeth where it hurts! Kill! Kill! Kill! The filthy bastard ####### commies, I hate 'em! I hate 'em! AAAUUUUUUURRRRGH!\\



'''Shopkeeper:''' Well, it's as near as dammit!\\

to:

'''Shopkeeper:''' Well, it's as near as dammit!\\######!\\



--->'''Voiceover:''' The BBC would like to apologise for the next announcement.\\

to:

--->'''Voiceover:''' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck The BBC would like to apologise for the next announcement.\\]]\\



Stupid bitch!-\\

to:

Stupid bitch!-\\#####!-\\



'''Charles Dickens (Terry Jones)''': You bastard!

to:

'''Charles Dickens (Terry Jones)''': You bastard!
#######!
11th Feb '18 3:07:31 PM mlsmithca
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* The Pythons only occasionally tried their hand at live-action silent comedy, but the results were always good for laughs. This episode features a film about a beachgoer (Terry Jones) in a stereotypical striped blazer, white trousers, and straw boating hat who struggles to find somewhere to change into his swimming costume in privacy, resulting in a RunningGag in which he ends up exposed to all eyes with his trousers around his ankles, all accompanied by a Wurlitzer organ rendition of the "Colonel Bogey" march.
** After seeing everyone on the beach looking at him (with vague interest rather than disapproval) when he tries to change in public, he picks up what he thinks is his towel and wraps it around his waist - but it turns out to be the towel of another bather, who grabs it back. He finds a changing hut, but as he removes his trousers, he sees a pair of feet standing next to the hut, and exits to find their owner (Michael) seemingly covering his face as he peers through a hole in the fabric. He kicks the voyeur in the backside - only to discover he was just trying to light his cigarette out of the wind. When the beachgoer tries to go back into the hut, a matronly woman has already gone in ahead of him and throws him out.
** He moves on to hiding behind a parked ice cream van, only for a policeman to tell the driver to move on. The beachgoer hastily pulls up his trousers and runs off as the outraged policeman marches toward him, readying his notebook and pen. He then tries asking the doorman (Graham) at a hotel about going inside to get changed, but the doorman misunderstands his miming and removes his own trousers instead as the beachgoer runs off in horror. Next, he hides behind a large stack of deckchairs, only for an equally large group of tourists to arrive and completely deplete the stack. He rushes behind the attendant's hut, only for two workmen to dismantle it.
** His desperation increasing, he hides behind a "What the Butler Saw" machine on the pier, only for an elderly couple to put money in the machine and see a film of the beachgoer removing his trousers, whereupon they look up, see the real thing, and begin attacking him. Finally, he ducks into what appears to be a darkened theatre and starts removing his trousers - only for the house lights to go up on him as burlesque music begins playing. He gives in and makes the removal of his trousers the first part of a full striptease act.



'''Art Critic's Wife:''' ''[wails]'' BUT IT'S MY ONLY LINE!...[[note]] A CallBack to a sketch in a previous episode featuring Michael and Katya Wyeth, which ended with the same complaint.[[/note]]

to:

'''Art Critic's Wife:''' ''[wails]'' BUT IT'S MY ONLY LINE!...[[note]] A CallBack to a sketch in a previous episode Episode 4 also featuring Michael and Katya Wyeth, Wyeth as an art critic and his wife, which ended with the same complaint.complaint after Michael's LamePunReaction to a "Watteau"/"Water" gag.[[/note]]
11th Feb '18 2:44:27 PM mlsmithca
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Added DiffLines:

* Wiggin then introduces a short interlude in which French mime Marcel Marceau (Graham) pretends to walk against the wind, then pretends to be getting hit by a 16-ton weight - not that he has to pretend for long, as the real thing falls on him after a few seconds. Cut to an interviewer (John) asking two schoolboys (Michael and Eric, on their knees to look even shorter next to John) if they'd like to have 16-ton weights dropped on their heads (Eric doesn't know, Michael says he'd rather have Raquel Welch dropped on his head). The interviewer then talks to two city gents (Graham and Michael) about what they'd most like to see on television... using the exact same gentle, almost whispering tone he used to talk to the schoolboys.
* The city gents would like to see more fairy stories about the police, and a fairy godmother (Eric) grants their wish, with a sequence in which a policeman on his bicycle produces an inflatable burglar, blows him up with his bicycle pump, and then races after him in pixilated motion with three other policeman whom he summons out of thin air by blowing a whistle. The burglar lures the policemen into a large packing crate and nails them inside... only to be foiled by another policeman in a fairy tutu and carrying a magic wand, the latter of which he waves to make the burglar vanish. The whole sequence ranks as one of the Pythons' funnier forays into silent comedy.
* The whole idea of policemen using magic to fight crime is investigated by ''Panorama''-like series [[DoubleEntendre "A Probe Around"]] - but not before the presenter (John) is shot dead and kicked out of his chair by a jealous colleague (Eric) who says ''he's'' the one who usually introduces the programme.
* The StronglyWordedLetter returns, and apparently one of the letter writers is psychic:
-->'''Voiceover (Eric):''' ''[reading letter]'' Dear Sir, I object very strongly to that last scene, and to the next letter.\\
'''Voiceover (Michael):''' ''[reading letter]'' Dear Sir, I object to being objected to in the last letter, before my drift has become apparent. I spent many years in India during the last war and am now a part-time notice board in a prominent public school. Yours etc., Brigadier Zoe La Rue (deceased). P.S. Aghhh!\\
'''Voiceover (John):''' ''[reading letter]'' Dear Sir, When I was at school, I was beaten regularly every 30 minutes and it never did me any harm - except for psychological maladjustment and blurred vision. Yours truly, Flight Lt. Ken Frankenstein (Mrs).
28th Jan '18 2:35:20 AM Aquila89
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Added DiffLines:

** The sketch ends with the studio audience booing, then a StronglyWordedLetter is being read:
--->Dear Sir, I am glad to hear that your studio audience disapproves of the last skit as strongly as I. As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs? Yours etc. Captain B.J. Smethwick in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.
13th Jan '18 5:05:43 PM Scifimaster92
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** The charity version with Vic Reeves, Creator/HarryEnfield, Creator/EddieIzzard and Creator/AlanRickman (!) at the Secret Policeman's Ball is also worth mentioning.

to:

** The charity version with Vic Reeves, Creator/HarryEnfield, [[Series/HarryEnfieldAndChums Harry Enfield]], Creator/EddieIzzard and Creator/AlanRickman (!) at the Secret Policeman's Ball is also worth mentioning.
4th Jan '18 10:28:36 AM mlsmithca
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** A panel of three guests is introduced - Gurt Svensson, a man dressed only in a green loincloth and green socks standing on his head (which is wrapped in orange cloth) and sporting the word "EGGS" on his stomach; Dame Elsie Occluded, a woman sticking out of the side of a block of concrete (with her feet sticking out another side perpendicular to her body) dressed in a green wig, flying goggles and gloves, and fairy wings; and Miles Yellow-Bird-Up-High-In-Banana-Tree, a man in a rabbit costume with a megaphone strapped to his eye. The phone on the presenter's desk rings; he answers it, chuckles, and congratulates the caller on having spotted that the entire panel are loonies.
** The presenter tells the viewers they are about to see photos of golfer Tony Jacklin, then-Chancellor Anthony Barber, author Creator/EdgarAllanPoe, TV presenter Katie Boyle, former Chancellor Reginald Maudling, and a looney. The screen cuts to a photograph of Anthony Barber... and a viewer immediately phones in.
** Having instructed the viewers to wait until all of the photos are shown (in order: Barber, Boyle, Poe, a looney in a red wig and comedy glasses with the words "A LOONEY" written on his chest, Maudling, Jacklin), the presenter confirms that the looney was indeed the second picture. He then has to issue a hasty correction that the looney was the fourth picture, and that Katie Boyle is ''not'' a looney... she is a ''television personality''.
** The completely bonkers ''Literature/{{Ivanhoe}}'' "adaptation" (set in a modern butcher's shop with a "cast" comprising Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel (from the "Silly Election" sketch), a man in a bee costume jumping up and down on the counter, a man in a knee-length vest dancing with a side of beef, a man dressed as a carrot squawking "Pretty boy!", and a man in oilskins and waders flying back and forth on a stage rope)... and the revelation that, as correctly guessed by Mrs. L of Leicester, Mrs. B of Buxton, and Mrs. G of Gatwick, the looney was the ''[[WhoWritesThisCrap writer]]'', Sir Creator/WalterScott.

to:

** A panel of three guests is introduced - Gurt Svensson, Svensson (Terry Jones), a man dressed only in a green loincloth and green socks standing on his head (which is wrapped in orange cloth) and sporting the word "EGGS" on his stomach; Dame Elsie Occluded, Occluded (Michael), a woman sticking out of the side of a block of concrete (with her feet sticking out another side perpendicular to her body) dressed in a green wig, flying goggles and gloves, and fairy wings; and Miles Yellow-Bird-Up-High-In-Banana-Tree, Yellow-Bird-Up-High-In-Banana-Tree (Terry Gilliam), a man in a rabbit costume with a megaphone strapped to his eye. The phone on the presenter's desk rings; he the presenter (Eric) answers it, chuckles, and congratulates the caller on having spotted that the entire panel are loonies.
** The presenter introduces a film segment and tells viewers that all they have to do is "Spot the Looney!" The films shows a typically foggy day at the foot of Ben Macdui (the second-highest peak in Britain) as a travelogue announcer (Michael) describes its "dark, forbidding" south face. The clip is interrupted by jaunty music as a looney dressed in a toga, a tam-o'-shanter, and wellingtons and dragging an inflatable toy behind him on a rope skips between two bushes in the foreground. The phone on the presenter's desk rings, and he congratulates the caller, Mrs Nesbitt of York, on spotting the looney after just 1.8 seconds.
** The presenter
tells the viewers they are about to see photos of golfer Tony Jacklin, then-Chancellor Cabinet minister Anthony Barber, Barber,[[note]] When this episode aired, Barber was UsefulNotes/EdwardHeath's Chancellor of the Exchequer, having been appointed to the position after the sudden death of Iain Macleod in 1970.[[/note]] author Creator/EdgarAllanPoe, TV presenter Katie Boyle, former Chancellor Cabinet minister Reginald Maudling, Maudling,[[note]] Maudling held a variety of positions under UsefulNotes/HaroldMacmillan, including Chancellor, and a few months before this episode aired, he had resigned as Heath's Home Secretary amid fraud investigations into a business associate of his.[[/note]] and a looney. The screen cuts to a photograph of Anthony Barber... [[TakeThat and a viewer immediately phones in.
in.]]
** Having instructed the viewers to wait until all of the photos are shown (in order: Barber, Boyle, Poe, a looney in a red wig and comedy glasses with several blacked out teeth and the words "A LOONEY" written on his chest, Maudling, Jacklin), the presenter confirms that the looney was indeed the second picture. He then has to issue a hasty correction that the looney was the fourth picture, and that Katie Boyle is ''not'' a looney... she is a ''television personality''.
** The segment concludes with a completely bonkers ''Literature/{{Ivanhoe}}'' "adaptation" (set in a modern butcher's shop with a "cast" comprising Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel (from the "Silly Election" sketch), a man in a bee costume jumping up and down on the counter, a man in a knee-length vest dancing with a side of beef, a man dressed as a carrot squawking "Pretty boy!", and a man in oilskins and waders flying back and forth on a stage rope)... and and, following the revelation phones on the presenter's desk buzzing furiously as he answers three of them at once, he reveals that, as correctly guessed by Mrs. Mrs L of Leicester, Mrs. Mrs B of Buxton, and Mrs. Mrs G of Gatwick, the looney was the ''[[WhoWritesThisCrap writer]]'', Sir Creator/WalterScott.Creator/WalterScott. Who doesn't take this accusation well:



'''Walter Scott (Graham Chapman)''': ''I'' didn't write that! Sounds more like [[Creator/CharlesDickens Dickens]]!\\

to:

'''Walter Scott (Graham Chapman)''': (Graham)''': ''I'' didn't write that! Sounds more like [[Creator/CharlesDickens Dickens]]!\\
18th Dec '17 9:34:45 AM mlsmithca
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'''Doctor:''' Me, Nurse. ''[points to first nurse]'' You Mr Burtensaw, ''[points to Mr Burtenshaw]'' she Sister, ''[points to second nurse]'' you Doctor.\\

to:

'''Doctor:''' Me, Nurse. ''[points to first nurse]'' You Mr Burtensaw, Burtenshaw, ''[points to Mr Burtenshaw]'' she Sister, ''[points to second nurse]'' you Doctor.\\
17th Dec '17 8:46:12 PM mlsmithca
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Added DiffLines:

* The episode opens with, well, the clue is in the episode title. It leads into a series of angry letters from viewers - the third of which puts a lampshade on the other two:
-->'''Michael:''' ''[knocking on bathroom door]'' Have you finished in there yet? ''[the first notes of Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto No.1 issue forth from inside; Michael sighs in disapproval. Cut to a letter]''\\
'''Voiceover (John):''' ''[reading letter]'' Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious [[ToiletHumour lavatorial turn]] this show has already taken. Why do we never hear about the good things in Britain, like Mary Bignall's [''sic''] wonderful jump in 1964? Yours etc., Ken Voyeur.\\
''[cut to grainy black and white footage of Mary Bignal Rand (as she was then known) setting a new world record in the women's long jump at the Tokyo Olympics in 1964; cut to another letter]''\\
'''Voiceover (Eric):''' ''[reading letter]'' Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious athletic turn this show has now taken. Why can't we hear more about the human body? There is nothing embarrassing or nasty about the human body except for the intestines and bits of the bottom.\\
''[cut to yet another letter]''\\
'''Voiceover (Michael):''' ''[reading letter]'' Dear Sir, I object strongly[[note]] The letter reads "I strongly object".[[/note]] to the letters on your programme. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours etc., William Knickers.\\
''[after nearly ten minutes of further sketches, we cut to another letter]''\\
'''Voiceover (Graham):''' ''[reading letter]'' Dear Sir, I'm sorry this letter is late, it should have come at the beginning of the programme. Yours, Ivor Bigbottie (Age two).
3rd Dec '17 5:15:32 PM InTheGallbladder
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* The film version adds this exchange involving the bogus translation of "Can you direct me to the station?":
-->'''Hungarian:''' ''[faltering]'' Please fondle my buttocks.\\
'''Businessman:''' ''[completely unfazed]'' Ah yes. Past the post office, 200 yards down, and then left at the lights.


Added DiffLines:

* The movie version of the Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook sketch throws in one more gag for good measure:
-->'''Hungarian:''' ''[faltering]'' Please fondle my buttocks.\\
'''Businessman:''' ''[completely unfazed]'' Ah yes. Past the post office, 200 yards down, and then left at the lights.
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.MontyPythonsFlyingCircus