History Funny / Monk

20th Apr '15 2:56:02 AM ChrisDen
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-->'''Living Statue Performer:''' Oh, about 10 minutes later, the alarm went off. And I saw... ''[his watch goes off, signalling the end of his break. He steps back up on his pedestal and freezes in place]''
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-->'''Living Statue Performer:''' Oh, about 10 minutes later, the alarm went off. And I saw... ''[his watch goes off, signalling signaling the end of his break. He steps back up on his pedestal and freezes in place]''

-->'''Natalie Teeger:''' Oh, no, that's just me. I scream every payday. ''(waves her hand dismissingly)''
to:
-->'''Natalie Teeger:''' Oh, no, that's just me. I scream every payday. ''(waves her hand dismissingly)''dismissively)''

-->'''Paul Buchanan:''' Well I don't have to remind you about how important these stupid luncheons are. The old bats are gunning for me. They want me to screw up, they ''expect'' me to screw up. And I intend... to dissapoint them. Mr. Melville.
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-->'''Paul Buchanan:''' Well I don't have to remind you about how important these stupid luncheons are. The old bats are gunning for me. They want me to screw up, they ''expect'' me to screw up. And I intend... to dissapoint disappoint them. Mr. Melville.
19th Apr '15 8:15:14 AM dmcreif
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* "Mr. Monk Meets Dale the Whale". Our introductory on-screen appearance to Dale "The Whale" Biederbeck is laugh out loud funny:
to:
* "Mr. Monk Meets Dale the Whale". Our introductory on-screen appearance to Dale "The Whale" Biederbeck is laugh out loud funny:funny even if he is Monk's archenemy:

-->'''Dr. Charles Kroger:''' That's between you and Adrian to work out. ''[I could envision the amused smile on his face]'' Who knows? Maybe the two of you will have some fun together. -->''[I hung up. I couldn't help wondering if Dr. Kroger had put Monk up to this trip as a way of getting even with me]''
to:
-->'''Dr. Charles Kroger:''' That's between you and Adrian to work out. ''[I could envision the amused smile on his face]'' Who knows? Maybe the two of you will have some fun together. -->''[I hung up. I couldn't help wondering if -->''[Natalie hangs up, thinking Dr. Kroger had put Monk up to this trip as a way of getting even with me]''her]''

* The use of MyHovercraftIsFullOfEels: Randy and another detective are driving to a crime scene. Randy gets nauseous and vomits on the roadside, right in front of a Japanese tour group:
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* The use of MyHovercraftIsFullOfEels: Randy and another detective are driving to a crime scene. Randy gets nauseous and vomits on the roadside, right in front of a Japanese tour group:

-->''[Two vans screech to a stop, and men suited up in SWAT gear raid the beauty salon]''
to:
-->''[Two vans screech to a stop, and men suited up in -->''[Cue the SWAT gear team arriving to raid the beauty salon]''

* Monk having to dress up as a clown number 99 of his hundred greatest fears to keep a suspect from finding out he was successful
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!!Mr. Monk Helps Himself!! * Monk having to dress up as a clown clown, number 99 on his list of his hundred greatest fears fears. The incident that leads to keep a suspect from finding this happening is that Monk and the team are checking out he was successfula dead clown's office, looking for evidence tying him to the people who killed him for blackmailing them. The suspects in question show up, and the investigation team is forced to improvise that Monk is the clown they hired.
10th Apr '15 10:31:20 AM tetsuzan
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Added DiffLines:
* Monk having to dress up as a clown number 99 of his hundred greatest fears to keep a suspect from finding out he was successful
2nd Apr '15 4:31:13 PM dmcreif
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--->'''Adrian Monk, Natalie Teeger:''' Uh....
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--->'''Adrian Monk, Natalie Teeger:''' Uh....''[look at each other]''
28th Mar '15 7:38:18 PM dmcreif
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--> '''Clown:''' ''[mimes pointing a handgun at Natasha]'' Whakah Whakah!
to:
--> '''Clown:''' '''Floppy the Clown:''' ''[mimes pointing a handgun at Natasha]'' Whakah Whakah!

Added DiffLines:
--> '''Clown:''' ''[mimes pointing * From "Mr. Monk and the Voodoo Curse": **Monk can't explain how a handgun voodoo doll mailed to Martha Murphy three days before she died accurately predicted she'd be killed by a baseball. They start tossing theories, but Natalie is not amused: -->:'''Lt. Randall Disher:''' What, do you want me to start rounding up witch doctors? -->'''Adrian Monk:''' Yeah. -->'''Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' That'd make a hell of a line up, though. ''[Monk, Stottlemeyer and Disher laugh. Natalie glowers at Natasha]'' Whakah Whakah!them]'' -->'''Natalie Teeger:''' You know what? It's not funny! I used to laugh about it, too. -->'''Lt. Randall Disher:''' About what? -->'''Natalie Teeger:''' Voodoo. Black magic. -->'''Adrian Monk:''' Wait, you can't actually ''believe'' in that stuff? -->'''Natalie Teeger:''' Somebody predicted that that poor woman would get hit by a baseball three days before it happened! How would you explain it?! -->'''Adrian Monk:''' Well, maybe- -->'''Lt. Randall Disher:''' Oh, wait, I've got it. Well she walked by here every day. Right? -->'''Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' Yeah. -->'''Lt. Randall Disher:''' So maybe the killer was waiting back here, behind this tree with a baseball gun. -->'''Natalie Teeger:''' A baseball gun? There's no such thing! -->'''Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' Yeah, but there are pitching machines. -->'''Natalie Teeger:''' So, how would your baseball gun killer- -->'''Lt. Randall Disher:''' Oh! That's a good name for him, by the way. -->'''Natalie Teeger:''' -how would he know that a home run would be hit at ''exactly'' that moment? And what happened to the other baseball? ''[no response from Monk, Stottlemeyer and Disher]'' -->'''Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' The other baseball. -->'''Natalie Teeger:''' It's voodoo, it's real, and it kills people! -->'''Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' Okay, how 'bout this? She had an insurance policy with a no-suicide clause. So she had to make it look like an accident. She came here, she waited for a home run to be hit. She grabs the ball... and cracks her own cranium. ''[mimics hitting his head with a ball]'' -->'''Natalie Teeger:''' ''[deadpan]'' With a baseball, she fractured her cranium. -->'''Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' ''[matter-of-factly]'' Yeah. -->'''Natalie Teeger:''' Was she ''that'' strong? -->'''Adrian Monk, Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' Yeah, she exercised. -->'''Natalie Teeger:''' I think voodoo's looking better and better. **Stottlemeyer and Disher pay a visit to the boutique store that sold the voodoo dolls: -->'''Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' Whoa, look at this place. It's like Halloween the year round. -->'''Lt. Randall Disher:''' ''[sees something on a shelf]'' Lucky bath crystals. -->'''Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' ''[looking at the potions]'' Incense powder. ''[looks at another green potion]'' Money powder. "Guaranteed to cure all financial woes." -->'''Lt. Randall Disher:''' Well, you should buy it. -->'''Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' No. I can't afford it. ''[He looks around the store a little more and finds a red bottle of potion; he reads the label]'' Cupid's Arrow. -->'''Lt. Randall Disher:''' Love potion. ''[Stottlemeyer dabs a little Cupid's Arrow onto his cheeks and his neck]'' It's not working. -->'''Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' Good.
24th Mar '15 10:47:22 PM dmcreif
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* In "Mr. Monk and the Class Reunion," Stottlemeyer casually tells the guy at the clinic office he came a long time ago for a No Nukes rally. Cue a BrickJoke: at the reunion dinner, Stottlemeyer goes on stage and interrupts the show to ask for information on the homicide investigation. As he's talking, the projector suddenly shows [[EmbarrassingSlide some compromising photos of him]] in riot gear violently attacking protestors at a demonstration from the late 1970s/early 1980s. Everyone starts booing at Stottlemeyer, while Monk and Natalie are clearly mortified:
to:
* In "Mr. Monk and the Class Reunion," Stottlemeyer casually tells the guy at the clinic office he came a long time ago for a No Nukes rally. Cue a BrickJoke: at the reunion dinner, Stottlemeyer goes on stage and interrupts the show to ask for information on the homicide investigation. As he's talking, the projector suddenly shows [[EmbarrassingSlide some compromising photos of him]] in riot gear violently attacking protestors at a demonstration from the late 1970s/early 1980s. Everyone starts booing at Stottlemeyer, while Stottlemeyer. Monk and Natalie are clearly mortified:exchange looks that suggest, "Uhh..." and Monk shifts uneasily in his seat.

-->'''Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' It expired at Noon! ''[the image changes to one of Stottlemeyer pointing at the Campanile clock tower, which clearly shows 12:05 PM]''
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-->'''Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' It expired at Noon! noon! ''[the image changes to one of Stottlemeyer pointing at the Campanile clock tower, which clearly shows 12:05 PM]''

-->'''Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' Like I said, it expired at Noon.
to:
-->'''Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' Like I said, it expired at Noon.noon.

--->'''Natalie Teeger:''' ''[grins]'' I don't know!
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--->'''Natalie Teeger:''' ''[grins]'' ''[grinning]'' I don't know!

--->''[Monk and Natalie stare at each other. Two students come through]''
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--->''[Monk and --->'''Adrian Monk, Natalie stare at each other. Two Teeger:''' Uh.... --->''[Two students come through]''
24th Mar '15 7:40:36 PM dmcreif
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-->'''Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' Let me guess. The killer is: between thirty and forty-five years old, white, male, does not work in an office, probably spent time in the military, and definitely hates his mother. ''[hands the file back to Randy]''
to:
-->'''Captain Leland Stottlemeyer:''' Let me guess. The killer is: between thirty and forty-five years old, white, male, does not work in an office, probably spent time in the military, and definitely ''definitely'' hates his mother. ''[hands the file back to Randy]''

* From "Mr. Monk Gets Married", it's heartwarming to know that Randy cares enough about his mother to send her money every month. It's funny to know that she just spends it on Bingo and paintings of Jesus.
to:
* From "Mr. Monk Gets Married", it's heartwarming to know that Randy cares enough about his mother to send her money every month. It's funny to know that she just spends it on on: Bingo and paintings of Jesus.

-->'''Dr. Charles Kroger:''' That's between you and Adrian to work out. ''I could envision the amused smile on his face.'' Who knows? Maybe the two of you will have some fun together. -->''I hung up. I couldn't help wondering if Dr. Kroger had put Monk up to this trip as a way of getting even with me.''
to:
-->'''Dr. Charles Kroger:''' That's between you and Adrian to work out. ''I ''[I could envision the amused smile on his face.'' face]'' Who knows? Maybe the two of you will have some fun together. -->''I -->''[I hung up. I couldn't help wondering if Dr. Kroger had put Monk up to this trip as a way of getting even with me.''me]''

-->'''Det. Jack Lansdale:''' My ''wife'' is Japanese. * Monk's reaction to finding out that a top end Chinatown beauty salon uses excrement in its productsl He asks Natalie for her cell phone and leaves. When she finds him outside:
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-->'''Det. Jack Lansdale:''' My ''wife'' is Japanese. Japanese! * Monk's reaction to finding out that a top end Chinatown beauty salon uses excrement in its productsl products. He asks Natalie for her cell phone and leaves. When she finds him outside:
16th Mar '15 11:55:51 PM dmcreif
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Added DiffLines:
* From "Mr. Monk Gets Married", it's heartwarming to know that Randy cares enough about his mother to send her money every month. It's funny to know that she just spends it on Bingo and paintings of Jesus.
23rd Jan '15 9:54:17 PM Willbyr
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** And amusingly enough, it's plausible in real life. Just ask the MythBusters.
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** And amusingly enough, it's plausible in real life. Just ask the MythBusters.Series/MythBusters.
11th Jan '15 6:00:47 PM dmcreif
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-->'''Lt. Randall Disher:''' I can't shoot him, Captain.
to:
-->'''Lt. Randall Disher:''' I can't shoot him, Captain.do that, sir.
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