History Funny / JoJosBizarreAdventureAbridged

* Dio humoring Joseph's constant Transformers references by quoting the standoff between Megatron and Optimus at the end of the first Live-action movie.

* "Is Dio Brando going to have to choke a bitch? [...] Because I, Dio, seriously believe that ''I'', '''Dio''', have not done enough bitch-choking since I've been here."
** "It's funny because there are bitches in the way that need to move."
*** To elaborate, this scene plays as DIO tells his unwilling driver to drive on the side walk, and telling him to "put on some tunes" when he does. The song that plays? Ludacris' "Move, Bitch".

** [[Franchise/MetalGear Solid Snake]]'s cameo.

** [[ComicBook/GreenLantern Atrocius and Larfleeze's]] cameos.
--> '''Atrocius:''' Dammit Larfleeze. Stop using the phone.

* The [[Film/TheRoom Tommy Wiseau]] alternate reality, complete with BadBadActing.

* After Avdol takes down Polnareff by setting him on fire, Jotaro asks if Avdol is really gonna let a man [[CruelAndUnusualDeath burn to death]]. Joseph assures him that Avdol wouldn't do that...[[ImmediatelyProvenWrong only for Avdol to casually toss Polnareff a knife]] to ''[[GallowsHumor kill himself with]]''.

* After Avdol takes down Polnareff by setting him on fire, Jotaro asks if Avdol is really gonna let a man [[CruelAndUnusualDeath burn to death]]. Joseph assures him that Avdol wouldn't do that...[[ImmediatlyProvenWrong only for Avdol to casually toss Polnareff a knife]] to ''[[GallowsHumor kill himself with]]''.

--> '''Jotaro''': Yeah, you better. Don't want you to [[Literature/{{Twilight}} sparkle to death.]]

* Zeppeli's question about [[Literature/{{Twilight}} books that say fire can kill vampires]] is a case of Fridge Funny.

--> '''Speedwagon''': Even black people?
--> '''Zeppeli''': Ohoho, Speedwagon, we'll leave Los Angeles to do that.

'''Jonathan:''' [[{{Music/Rush}} Don't put him down as arrogant.]]\\

'''Dio:''' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Oh. My.]] [[AGodAmI Dio]]! It's [[Film/WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory Willy Wonka]]!\\

** Of course, the kicker is when D'Arby reveals the [[YourSoulIsMine terms]] [[LostHimInACardGame of his bet]], he has an addendum that shows the offer [[EvenTheGuysWantHim isn't exactly unwanted]].

--->'''Joseph''': (completely serious) That's a picture. Of me. Sitting on a couch. With my legs spread open. Naked. This picture was on the cover of [=GDILFs=] Magazine's 'Top Ten Sexiest, Most [[PrecisionFStrike Fuckable]] Grandpas'. I was number one. [[AccidentalInnuendo Beating both]] Monkey D. Garp from ''Manga/OnePiece'', and Uncle Iroh from ''[[WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender Avatar]]''.\\
--->'''D'Arby''': How...recent...is that picture?\\

--->'''D’Arby''': That’s…not quite what I had in mind…

--> '''Happy Polnareff:''' LE HERPY DERP YES WE ARE

** Joseph's description of the picture he offers D'Arby is rather....descriptive.
--->'''Joseph''': That's a picture. Of me. Sitting on a couch. With my legs spread open. Naked. This picture was on the cover of [=GDILFs=] Magazine's 'Top Ten Sexiest, Most [[PrecisionFStrike F***able]] Grandpas. I was number one. [[AccidentalInnuendo Beating both]] Monkey D. Garp from ''Manga/OnePiece'', and Uncle Iroh from ''[[WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender Avatar]]''.\\
'''D'Arby''': How...recent...is that picture?\\
'''Joseph''': '''VERY...very...recent.'''
* During the D'Arby poker match, after Jotaro breaks D'Arby's fingers for making Yu-Gi-Oh! references, the enemy stand user accuses Jotaro of not obeying the rules. Seto Kaiba, voiced by Creator/LittleKuriboh himself, pops up behind him.

* The FoeYay during this episode which inevitably Lampshaded.

*** Now in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZ_nZsTHmDs animation!]]

--> '''Cabbie:''' Okay, buddy, that'll be eighteen fifty-- Hey, hey buddy, what the fuck!? Hey! This ain't no free ride! This ain't no limo shit! Hey, c'mon, you gotta pay--
--> ''[Joseph and Holly hug]''
--> '''Cabbie:''' Oh. That's precious. That's cute, that's real amazing, that's real touching, that's-- '''''NOW GIVE ME MY FUCKING EIGHTEEN-FIFTY!'''''

--> '''Policeman:''' Wake up, convict.
--> '''Joseph:''' Well, that's no way to wake someone up! Here. I learned this from the in-flight movie. ''[to Jotaro]'' Hey, fuckface! Yeah, I'm talking to you, you cracka-faced cracka! How you gonna step up in ma' crib and not get stomped on, bee-yatta-cha? How you gonna act?
--> '''Jotaro:''' Hey, grand-dad.

--> '''Avdol:''' Mr. Joestar! I must warn you that if I fight to my fullest I may injure the boy.
--> '''Joseph:''' [[BrutalHonesty I don't care]].
--> '''Avdol:''' But I could seriously inj-
--> '''Joseph:''' Look, are you gonna talk or kick my grandon's ass?

--> '''Avdol:''' What is he drawing?
--> '''Joseph:''' It's a frog! No, no it's a knife! Ooh, ooh! [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy It's a jackal! It's a jackal! I bet it's a jackal!]]
--> ''[It's [[VideoGame/MarioIsMissing Weegee]]. Cue ScareChord.]''
--> ''[Really long {{beat}}]''
--> '''Joseph:''' What... the... f-- ''[cue end credits]''

--> '''Kakyoin:''' Hi...
--> '''Jotaro:''' Hi.
--> '''Kakyoin:''' Ero...
--> '''Jotaro:''' Ero.
--> '''Kakyoin:''' Phant...
--> '''Jotaro:''' Phant.
--> '''Kakyoin:''' Green.
--> '''Jotaro:''' Green.
--> '''Kakyoin:''' Hierophant Green.
--> '''Jotaro:''' John Green.
--> '''Kakyoin:''' Okay, now you're just messing with me!
--> '''Jotaro:''' Hehehe. I do that sometimes.

--> '''Kakyoin:''' I warn you, Jotaro--
--> '''Jotaro (thinking):''' Wait, how'd his Stand get there?
--> '''Kakyoin:''' My Stand doesn't like to be in open spaces. It would much rather be hiding in something like a dark corner. Or hair bangs.
--> '''Jotaro:''' So... it's emo.
--> '''Kakyoin:''' Wha--? No, it's not emo!
--> '''Jotaro:''' You said it likes to hide behind hair bangs. Pretty sure that's what emos do.
--> '''Kakyoin:''' That doesn't mean it's emo!
--> ''[cut to a wounded Hierophant Green, with Music/LinkinPark's "Crawling" playing in the background]''
--> '''Jotaro:''' Dude, ''it is crying from its wrist.'' That is ''hard'' emo, bro.

-->'''Avdol:''' ''(At King Yemma's place)'' '''''Ahhhhhhhh!!! I f** king hate white people!!!'''''

--> '''Jotaro:''' '''''{{I HAVE NO DAUGHTER}}!!!'''''

* Zeppeli with the voice of ''Creator/Sean Connery''. That is all.

-->'''Erina:'''...kyaaaah? *eyebrow raise*

'''Zeppeli:''' Whoops, [[SarcasmMode I just dropped all the f&@ks I don't give.]]\\

-->'''Dio:'''Never leave yourself open, Jona--([[BrickJoke Jonathan charges Dio to the sound of a train]]) Seriously, let me finish my sentences!

** Even better in that Jack is played by [[CrossdressingVoices Nowacking]]

* Zeppeli is Sean Connery. That is all.

--> '''Dio:''' (nervously) Uh...medium-rare?

* Jonathan's Reaction after reading Dairo Brando's Letter to Dio?
--> '''Jonathan''': "Holy Acidtrip!"

--> '''Jonathan: '''THE JOESTAR SEX DRIVE CANNOT BE DIMINISHED BY MERE SICKNESS!

-->'''Dio:''' Now, let's see what's behind Curtain Number 1. *opens curtain, it (and Dio) catch on fire* AH! FIRE! [[CaptainObvious FIRE'S BEHIND CURTAIN NUMBER 1!]]

--> '''Dio:''' *hurried whisper* Don'tfuckwithme.

** What makes it even funnier is [[http://i.imgur.com/lKK1Nnz.png how the bullies are dressed]] when they deliver this news to Jonathan.

-->{{(Beat)}}

-->{{Beat}}

(The frequent [[AnachronismStew use and/or mention of dubstep, hashtags, and YOLO]] during the [[Main/VictorianLondon time period it takes place in]] is nothing short of hilarious.)