History Funny / JeevesAndWooster

25th Aug '16 11:14:56 AM GothicProphet
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* Bertie and Nobby discuss how to arrange a meeting for Uncle Percy.
--> '''Nobby:''' Perhaps Boko would have something to suggest.
--> '''Bertie:''' I bet he would, and I bet it would be something which would land us so deeply in the soup that it would require a dredging outfit to get us out again.
25th Aug '16 10:29:25 AM GothicProphet
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* Florence, while complaining about Stilton, says he "turned on her like a tiger".
--> ...I couldnít help admiring Stilton for his intrepid courage. Circumstances had so arranged themselves as to extract most of the stuffing from what had been a closeish boyhood friendship, but I had to respect a man capable of turning on Florence like a tiger. I would hardly have thought Attila the Hun could have done it, even if at the peak of his form.
31st Jul '16 8:14:13 AM LBHills
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* Bertie has been informed by his landlord that he must, by popular demand, either cease his attempts to learn to play the banjolele, or take himself and 'that infernal din' elsewhere.
--> 'Complaints, it would seem, have been lodged by the Honorable Mrs. Tinkler-Moulke of C-6; by Lieutenant Colonel J. J. Bustard (DSO) of B-5; and Sir Everard and Lady Blennerhassett, of B-7. All right. So be it. I don't care. We shall be well-rid of these Tinkler-Moulkes, these Bustards, and these Blennerhassetts. I leave them without a pang.'



* Gussie Fink-Nottle's epic drunken speech at the Market Snodsbury grammar-school prize-giving, which is often cited as Wodehouse's funniest passage.
* "...Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror."
* When Jeeves and Bertie are discussing ringing the fire alarm (like everything else in these books, it MakesSenseInContext), Bertie gets a bit of snark in at Tuppy's BigEater tendencies.
--> '''Jeeves:''' Possibly you may recollect that it was an axiom of [...] Literature/SherlockHolmes, that the instinct of everyone, upon an alarm of fire, is to save the object dearest to them.
--> '''Bertie:''' It seems to me that there is a grave danger of seeing Tuppy come out carrying a steak-and-kidney pie, but resume, Jeeves, resume.
* Prior to Gussie's aforementioned drunken speech, Bertie and Jeeves discover that he's drunk.

to:

* Gussie Fink-Nottle's epic drunken speech at the Market Snodsbury grammar-school prize-giving, which is often cited as Wodehouse's funniest passage.
* "...Gussie, a glutton
passage. Sadly, it is somewhat lengthy to quote here, and makes little sense out of context because it acts as ChekhovsGunman for punishment, stared at himself half the gags in the mirror."
* When Jeeves and Bertie are discussing ringing the fire alarm (like everything else in these books, it MakesSenseInContext), Bertie gets a bit of snark in at Tuppy's BigEater tendencies.
--> '''Jeeves:''' Possibly you may recollect that it was an axiom of [...] Literature/SherlockHolmes, that the instinct of everyone, upon an alarm of fire, is to save the object dearest to them.
--> '''Bertie:''' It seems to me that there is a grave danger of seeing Tuppy come out carrying a steak-and-kidney pie,
book - but resume, Jeeves, resume.
*
rest assured it is well worth reading.
**
Prior to Gussie's aforementioned drunken speech, Bertie and Jeeves discover that he's drunk.



* How Gussie's speech ended: he said one of the students could only have won a prize by cheating, and the student's mother objected. Jeeves tells Bertie about it afterwards, and says that after this "they sang the national anthem". Bertie thinks this means Gussie and the student's mother sang a duet, and Jeeves has to clarify that everyone else sang it.

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* ** How Gussie's speech ended: he said one of the students could only have won a prize by cheating, and the student's mother objected. Jeeves tells Bertie about it afterwards, and says that after this "they sang the national anthem". Bertie thinks this means Gussie and the student's mother sang a duet, and Jeeves has to clarify that everyone else sang it.it.
* "...Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror."
* When Jeeves and Bertie are discussing ringing the fire alarm (like everything else in these books, it MakesSenseInContext), Bertie gets a bit of snark in at Tuppy's BigEater tendencies.
--> '''Jeeves:''' Possibly you may recollect that it was an axiom of [...] Literature/SherlockHolmes, that the instinct of everyone, upon an alarm of fire, is to save the object dearest to them.
--> '''Bertie:''' It seems to me that there is a grave danger of seeing Tuppy come out carrying a steak-and-kidney pie, but resume, Jeeves, resume.



* Bertie's ShoutOut to certain famous detectives (it MakesSenseInContext).

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* Bertie's ShoutOut to certain famous detectives (it MakesSenseInContext).detectives:
25th Jul '16 3:18:23 PM LBHills
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--> "[[BlatantLies I have forgotten, sir]]," said Jeeves, with a touch of austerity. "But it was opprobrious."

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--> "[[BlatantLies '''Jeeves''' ''(austerely):'' [[BlatantLies I have forgotten, sir]]," said Jeeves, with a touch of austerity. "But sir]]. But it was opprobrious."
16th Jul '16 3:35:06 AM GothicProphet
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--> '''Uncle Percy:''' I try to enjoy a quiet stroll in my garden, and before I can so much as inhale a breath of air I find it crawling with nephews and policemen. I come out to be alone with Nature, and the first thing I know I canít move for the crowd. What is this place? Piccadilly Circus? Hampstead Heath on Bank Holiday? The spot chosen for the annual outing of the police force?

to:

--> '''Uncle Percy:''' I try to enjoy a quiet stroll in my garden, and before I can so much as inhale a breath of air I find it crawling with nephews and policemen. I come out to be alone with Nature, and the first thing I know I canít can't move for the crowd. What is this place? Piccadilly Circus? Hampstead Heath on Bank Holiday? The spot chosen for the annual outing of the police force?force?
* Nobby and Boko have a quarrel. Bertie tries to comfort Boko afterward.
--> '''Bertie:''' Life's all right.
--> '''Boko:''' Not if you've lost the girl you love.
--> '''Bertie:''' Have you lost the girl you love?
--> '''Boko:''' That's what I'm trying to figure out. I can't make up my mind. It all depends what construction you place on the words "I never want to see or speak to you again in this world or the next, you miserable fathead."
28th Jun '16 4:03:49 PM GothicProphet
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* Bertie's Uncle Percy meets him as he's [[ItMakesSenseInContext about to smash a window]]. And then Stilton comes along.
--> '''Uncle Percy:''' I try to enjoy a quiet stroll in my garden, and before I can so much as inhale a breath of air I find it crawling with nephews and policemen. I come out to be alone with Nature, and the first thing I know I canít move for the crowd. What is this place? Piccadilly Circus? Hampstead Heath on Bank Holiday? The spot chosen for the annual outing of the police force?
28th Jun '16 3:53:30 PM GothicProphet
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* Nobby hears how Edwin burned down Bertie's cottage.
--> Nobby speculated as to the chances of somebody some day murdering Edwin, and we agreed that the hour must eventually produce the man.
28th Jun '16 3:43:15 PM GothicProphet
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* Nobby and Bertie discuss how to get Florence and Stilton back together.
--> '''Bertie:''' When chatting with Florence, therefore, boost Stilton in every possible way. Make her see what a prize she has got. And if you have any influence with him, endeavour to persuade him to chuck all this policeman nonsense and stand for Parliament, as she wants him to.
--> '''Nobby:''' I'd love to see Stilton in Parliament.
--> '''Bertie:''' So would I, if it means healing this rift.
--> '''Nobby:''' Wouldn't he be a scream!
--> '''Bertie:''' Not necessarily. [[TakeThat There are bigger fatheads than Stilton among our legislators - dozens of them. They would probably shove him in the Cabinet.]]
28th Jun '16 3:39:59 PM GothicProphet
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* Nobby says Stilton is "very impressionable".
--> I agreed with her there. I had never forgotten the time at Oxford when somebody temporarily converted him to Buddhism. It led to a lot of unpleasantness with the authorities, I recall, he immediately starting to cut chapel and go and meditate beneath the nearest thing the neighbourhood could provide to a bo tree.
20th Jun '16 7:06:26 AM LBHills
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* Edwin tries to help Bertie settle into the cottage where he'll be staying, and in the process ''[[EpicFail sets the cottage on fire]]''. And then he tries to put out the fire... [[TooDumbToLive with paraffin]].

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* Edwin tries to help Bertie settle into the cottage where he'll be staying, and in the process ''[[EpicFail sets the cottage on fire]]''. And then he tries to put out the fire... [[TooDumbToLive with paraffin]]. (Note to American readers: You call it ''kerosene.)''
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