History Funny / GuildWars2

19th Sep '17 12:39:12 AM AzuraJae
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-->'''Medic:''' ...Sure, that.

to:

-->'''Medic:''' ...Sure, that.that.
*In Living World Season 3 during the third part of Flashpoint, the player is tasked to help free the Durid Spirits in exchange for their fire-resistant shields so the player can [[[spoiler:find Balthazar in the firey depths of a volcano]]. Taimi calls the Commander at one point to note that their temperatures are fluctuating. The Commander's reasoning and exchange between the two is hilarious
-->'''Taimi:''' Commander, I'm getting an odd reading from the communicator. Your temperature seems to be fluctuating. Wildly.
-->'''<Player>:''' Oh, yes, that makes sense. I was given a heat barrier from one of the Spirits of the Wild down here.
-->'''Taimi:''' Sure. Yeah. Perfect sense. But seriously what's happening?
-->'''<Player>:''' I told you. These voices spoke to me.
-->'''Taimi:''' Uh-huh.
-->'''<Player>:''' Then the ghost tree things told me I should free them.
-->'''Taimi:''' Uh-huh.
-->'''<Player>:''' And in return, they grant me protection from the high temperatures.
-->'''Taimi:''' Sure, sure... So... You're clearly suffering from heat stroke. But don't panic; I'll send help your way!
-->'''<Player>:''' Taimi, I'm fine. Or will be. As soon as I liberate more of my magical ghost friends.
-->'''Taimi:''' Oh, boy.
19th Aug '17 11:52:42 AM Shinziril
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-->'''Player:''' And your partner... what happened to him?

to:

-->'''Player:''' And A vinetooth? Majestic? Those things are horrific killers.
-->'''Norn:''' No! They're beautiful! My partner and I came out here to commune with them.
-->'''Norn:''' They've accepted me; I've even petted one!
-->'''Player:''' Sounds like a great way to get yourself killed.
-->'''Norn:''' Nonsense. Roy said they'd never hurt me...outside of the times they've already hurt me.
-->'''Norn:''' Took a pretty big chunk out of my leg...
-->'''Player:''' Where's
your partner... what happened to him?partner?
16th Aug '17 4:11:21 AM ArcaneAzmadi
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* In Harathi Hinterlands you can find two NPCs, Bandito and Seraphette.

to:

* In Harathi Hinterlands you can find two NPCs, [=NPCs=], Bandito and Seraphette.



-->'''Researcher 2:''' ''*ZAP*'' "Jumping Jolts, what was ''that''?"
-->'''Researcher 1:''' ''<rolling on the floor laughing>'' "Maybe it's your conscience!"

to:

-->'''Researcher 2:''' ''*ZAP*'' "Jumping Jumping Jolts, what was ''that''?"
''that''?
-->'''Researcher 1:''' ''<rolling on the floor laughing>'' "Maybe Maybe it's your conscience!"conscience!



--> '''Pact Lieutenant:''' "Did...your backpack just call you "Poobah", Commander?"
-->'''Player:''' "Long story."

to:

--> '''Pact Lieutenant:''' "Did...Did...your backpack just call you "Poobah", Commander?"
Commander?
-->'''Player:''' "Long story."Long story.
* This amusing little exchange from the mission "Taimi's Game":
-->'''Taimi:''' First, remember my chak organ?\\
'''Commander:''' That horribly disgusting body part of an even more horribly disgusting giant bug you keep in a despicable blighting pod fluid?\\
'''Commander:''' Yes, I remember, despite desperately trying to forget.\\
'''Taimi:''' I named it Spencer!\\
'''Rytlock Brimstone:''' And it's somehow more disturbing.\\
'''Taimi:''' Don't listen to them, Spence!
27th May '17 5:20:19 PM PuffPuff
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* Secunda the Watcher in Ashford and her terrible puns while assisting Skale Researcher Irkz.
-->"So that's why the legions are interested in your work. They want a full skale war. Ha ha!"
26th May '17 9:00:35 AM ArcaneAzmadi
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--> Player: "And your partner... what happened to him?"
-->Norn: "Oh, they killed him quick."

to:

--> Player: "And -->'''Player:''' And your partner... what happened to him?"
-->Norn: "Oh,
him?
-->'''Norn:''' Oh,
they killed him quick."quick.
* The entire "Outpost: Noble Crash Site" mission chain in Verdant Brink varies from "amusing" to "hilarious", which is what you'd expect when an airship full of [[UpperClassTwit Divinity's Reach nobility]] follow [[ButtMonkey Lord Faren]] into the jungle and get caught up in the disaster that strikes the Pact fleet. Particularly funny are the parts where Faren shows up, stripped to a loincloth and claiming to have "communed with the jungle", and at the end when [[BeleagueredAssistant Minister Merula's servant Gertrude]] loads [[SkewedPriorities the minister's luggage]] onto the rescue chopper and [[TheDogBitesBack hops aboard herself]], taking up the last of the room and forcing the chopper to leave the nobles behind.
-->'''Minister Merula:''' Wait! Come back here! You cannot leave us in this filthy jungle!\\
'''Baroness Jasmina:''' I'm pretty sure they canóbecause they just did.\\
'''Lord Faren:''' Never fear! I, [[SmallNameBigEgo the mighty Swordmaster Faren]], will protect you all. Especially you, my dear Jasmina.\\
'''Baroness Jasmina:''' Oh shut up, Faren.



--> Researcher 2: *ZAP* "Jumping Jolts, what was ''that''?"
--> Researcher 1: *rolling on the floor laughing* "Maybe it's your conscience!"

to:

--> Researcher 2: *ZAP* -->'''Researcher 2:''' ''*ZAP*'' "Jumping Jolts, what was ''that''?"
--> Researcher 1: *rolling -->'''Researcher 1:''' ''<rolling on the floor laughing* laughing>'' "Maybe it's your conscience!"
16th May '17 5:10:44 PM PuffPuff
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** Tending to Marjory:

to:

** Tending * After [[spoiler: Balthazar]] takes his leave, and you're left [[spoiler: tending to Marjory:Marjory]]:
16th May '17 5:09:22 PM PuffPuff
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-->'''Canach:''' Agreed. That man's been through enough. And this would probably scar him worse than being stuffed in a blighting pod.

to:

-->'''Canach:''' Agreed. That man's been through enough. And this would probably scar him worse than being stuffed in a blighting pod.pod.
** Tending to Marjory:
-->'''Medic:''' Back away, please. I don't ''care'' if you're the Commander, or... I don't know what's higher than a commander.
-->'''Taimi:''' (from the other side of the room, ''very'' enthusiastically) Poobah!
-->'''Medic:''' ...Sure, that.
4th May '17 9:57:09 PM PuffPuff
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* Taimi's communication device leads to this gem:
--> '''Pact Lieutenant:''' "Did...your backpack just call you "Poobah", Commander?"
-->'''Player:''' "Long story."
21st Apr '17 4:28:05 AM ArcaneAzmadi
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-->'''Illusion of Faren:''' I'm rich you know. ''<White Mantle Mesmer cheers>''
12th Feb '17 2:56:32 PM MattStriker
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* Canach still doesn't like working for Countess Anise very much in ''Head of the Snake''...

to:

* ''Head of the Snake'' mixes quite a bit of funny in with the high drama...
**
Canach still doesn't like working for Countess Anise very much in ''Head of the Snake''...much...



-->'''Countess Anise:''' To think I almost missed you.

to:

-->'''Countess Anise:''' To think I almost missed you.you.
** If you do some exploring in Caudecus' Manor it's possible to find a room with a female White Mantle Mesmer who was apparently in the progress of some...activities with a naked illusion of Lord Faren when the player character barged in to interrupt her.
** At the end of the chapter, Canach and the player character search Caudecus' bedroom...
-->'''Canach:''' Oh, Minister Beetlestone, you did not disappoint. Why on Tyria do you think he has a painting of Captain Thackeray in here?
-->'''Player:''' That's... Maybe because... if he thought... You know what? We should probably never tell Logan about this.
-->'''Canach:''' Agreed. That man's been through enough. And this would probably scar him worse than being stuffed in a blighting pod.
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