History Funny / GrandTheftAutoLibertyCityStories

-->''Toni:''' [[BondOneLiner Ladies and gentlemen,]] [[ElvisImpersonator Paulie Sindacco]] [[BondOneLiner has left the building.]]

''You see me up here? I ain't smiling, tough guy!''\\

* The fat black and white male pedestrians in Liberty City occassionally say "[[BigEater I got a date with a cheese deluxe!]]" when they are driving.

--> '''Vincenzo''': This is it, Toni! Home sweet home! Beautiful, ain't she?\\
'''Toni''': This shithole is supposed to be my home?\\
'''Vincenzo''': Oh, I think it's VERY you. Now you're disrespecting old Vincenzo! Now tough guy, get your ass upstairs and go put on some decent clothes! I don't got all day, so move!

-->'''Salvatore''': Fuck me?! Fuck you! In fact, everyone has!

--> '''Sindacco member''': Hey, someone dropped a dollar!

-->'''Donald''': My God! He's wearing a wig!

-->'''Toni''': Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned...\\
'''Father Ned''': Holy crap Toni, what have you done now?\\
'''Toni''': Whoa! Language, Father.\\
'''Father Ned''': Oh yeah, Hail Mary full of whatever.

--> '''Vincenzo''': This is it, Toni! Home sweet home! Beautiful, ain't she?
--> '''Toni''': This shithole is supposed to be my home?
--> '''Vincenzo''': Oh, I think it's VERY you. Now you're disrespecting old Vincenzo! Now tough guy, get your ass upstairs and go put on some decent clothes! I don't got all day, so move!

-->''O'Donovan has three wives!''
-->''Who ate all the pies? O'Donovan!''
-->''O'Donovan is a junkie!''
-->''O'Donovan believes in compulsory buggery!''
-->''O'Donovan's a communist!''
-->''O'Donovan dresses in his daughters' underwear!''
-->''O'Donovan gets naked with hogs!''
-->''O'Donovan hates America!''

--> '''Toni''': Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned...
--> '''Father Ned''': Holy crap Toni, what have you done now?
--> '''Toni''': Whoa! Language, Father.
--> '''Father Ned''': Oh yeah, Hail Mary full of whatever.

--> '''Father Ned'': Holy crap Toni, what have you done now?

* Toni feels nervous when Salvatore sent him a letter to make him a "made man" in ''Making Toni'' because he had witnessed [[spoiler: JD's execution, making him think that he will be executed next. It's even more hilarious because Mickey, the person who killed JD, is also present in the ceremony.]]

* Toni confesses about his sins to [[spoiler: Ned Burner who pretends to be]] a priest at a cathedral in ''The Passion of the Heist'', with a hilarious conversation below:

--> '''Priest''': Holy crap Toni, what have you done now?

--> '''Priest''': Oh yeah, Hail Mary full of whatever.

* Occasionally, when an NPC has been killed, a paramedic will say "It's ok, he'll respawn!".

-->''My God! He's wearing a wig!''

* The final cutscene in ''Bringing The House Down'', with [[StuffBlowingUp literally everything exploding]]. The best bit is when a blown up car falls on top of two Forellis, killing them, and the other Forelli who was next to them but didn't get hit starting to run away before being crushed by yet another destroyed burning car falling on his head.

-->''O'Donovan gets naked with hogs!''

* During Donald Love's mission ''Steering The Vote", here are some of the lines Toni will shout when he passes by a marginal area:

-->''My God! He's wearing a wig!''

* The final cutscene in ''Bringing The House Down'', with [[StuffBlowingUp literally everything exploding]]. The best bit is when a blown up car falls on top of two Forellis, killing them, and the other Forelli who was next to them but didn't get hit starting to run away before being crushed by yet another destroyed burning car falling on his head.

* The final cutscene in ''Bringing The House Down'', with [[StuffBlowingUp literally everything exploding]]. The best bit is when a blown up car falls on top of two Forellis, killing them, and the other Forelli who was next to them but didn't get hit start to run away before being crushed by another car falling on his head.

-->*'''gets run over by Salvatore's car right after crouching down to pick it up'''*

* Let Maria die (or kill her yourself) in the mission ''Shop 'Til You Strop''. You'll fail the mission, but it's worth it for the Game Over line:
--> Maria's dead! [[SarcasmMode Oh, the humanity!]]