History Funny / Evolution

3rd Apr '18 6:39:01 PM Scifiwriterguy
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* Ira's "[[{{Mooning}} fruit basket]]" for General Woodman.

to:

* Ira's "[[{{Mooning}} fruit basket]]" for General Woodman.[[note]]It gets better when you realize that wasn't scripted. After a long day's shoot, everybody was punchy and irritable, and Duchovny did it as a goof. When Reitman asked if it was for the film or just "for the troops," Duchovny decided to ThrowItIn[[/note]]
3rd Jan '18 1:41:44 PM Al08
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--> '''Alison''': Can we get you anything? Do you need anything?\\
'''Harry''': Ice cream... I'd like an ice cream, please.\\
'''Alison''': Yeah? What flavour?\\
'''Harry''': It doesn't matter. It's for my ass.
*



*


Added DiffLines:

*
--> '''Alison''': Can we get you anything? Do you need anything?\\
'''Harry''': Ice cream... I'd like an ice cream, please.\\
'''Alison''': Yeah? What flavour?\\
'''Harry''': It doesn't matter. It's for my ass.
30th Aug '17 4:02:40 PM Soldancer
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Added DiffLines:

* Harry, upon seeing the "dog" alien dead: "That dog is all ass."
18th Aug '17 5:17:47 PM Avenuewriter
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Added DiffLines:

* Harry's reaction to the field of dead alien birds... and Ira's reaction to Harry's reaction...
--> '''Harry:''' GREAT GOOGLE-MOOGLE!\\
'''Ira:''' (Looks at Harry with a bemused look)
7th Dec '16 2:01:19 AM TheAimz
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* {After the dragon alien barfs up its eggsac}

to:

* {After the dragon alien [[BizarreAlienReproduction barfs up its eggsac}eggsac]]}



* The entire sequence at the end, especially Harry getting sucked into the giant alien's ass.

to:

* The entire sequence at the end, especially Harry getting [[AssShove sucked into the giant alien's ass.ass]].



* Deke and Danny's hilariously bad science papers:

to:

* Deke and Danny's [[EpicFail hilariously bad bad]] science papers:
22nd Oct '16 7:43:34 PM Kalaong
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--> '''Alison''': Can we get you anything? Do you need anything?
--> '''Harry''': Ice cream... I'd like an ice cream, please.
--> '''Alison''': Yeah? What flavour?
--> '''Harry''': It doesn't matter. It's for my ass.

to:

--> '''Alison''': Can we get you anything? Do you need anything?
-->
anything?\\
'''Harry''': Ice cream... I'd like an ice cream, please.
-->
please.\\
'''Alison''': Yeah? What flavour?
-->
flavour?\\
'''Harry''': It doesn't matter. It's for my ass.



--> '''Dr. Paulson:''' We might have to amputate. ''(grabs a surgical saw)''
--> '''Harry''': ''Whoa'', Doc! Don't take the leg! Ira, don't let them take my leg.
--> '''Ira:''' Isn't there anything else you can do? He thinks he's an athlete.
--> '''Nurse Tate:''' Doctor, look!
--> '''Dr. Paulson:''' It's headed for his testicles!
--> ''({{Beat}})''
--> '''Harry''': ''Take it! Take it!!'' '''TAKE THE LEG!!'''

to:

--> '''Dr. Paulson:''' We might have to amputate. ''(grabs a surgical saw)''
-->
saw)''\\
'''Harry''': ''Whoa'', Doc! Don't take the leg! Ira, don't let them take my leg.
-->
leg.\\
'''Ira:''' Isn't there anything else you can do? He thinks he's an athlete.
-->
athlete.\\
'''Nurse Tate:''' Doctor, look!
-->
look!\\
'''Dr. Paulson:''' It's headed for his testicles!
--> ''({{Beat}})''
-->
testicles!\\
''({{Beat}})''\\
'''Harry''': ''Take it! Take it!!'' '''TAKE THE LEG!!'''



--> '''Ira:''' Cut him open, let's get this thing!
--> '''Harry''': ''Cut me open''?! There goes your Christmas gift, Judas!

to:

--> '''Ira:''' Cut him open, let's get this thing!
-->
thing!\\
'''Harry''': ''Cut me open''?! There goes your Christmas gift, Judas!



--> '''Harry:''' Wayne, I think we've established that "Ka-Kaw Ka-Kaw" and "Tukki Tukki" don't work.
--> '''Wayne:''' ''(sheepish)'' Right. Sorry.
--> ''(After a short while, he starts singing into the mic, to the utter disbelief of Ira and Harry)''
--> '''Wayne:''' ''(singing)'' You are so beautiful, to meeee... ''(Ira and Harry stare at him)''
--> '''Ira:''' ...Step back, Harry, I'm gonna shoot him.
--> '''Harry:''' Uh-uh, stand down! I'm gonna kill this one myself.
--> '''Wayne:''' You are so beautiful, to meeee...
--> '''Harry:''' Wayne, please stop singing because you are embarassing me.
--> '''Wayne:''' ''(right at him)'' CAN'T YOU SEEEE-EEEEE!
** It ''works''.

to:

--> '''Wayne''': ''(steps up to microphone)'' Ka-kaw. Ka-kaw? Ka-kaaaw! Ah-ah-ee-ee-tookie-tookie-tookie-tookie-ka-kaw-ka-kaw-kaw-kaw!\\
'''Harry:''' Wayne, I think we've established that "Ka-Kaw Ka-Kaw" and "Tukki Tukki" "[[WesternAnimation/GeorgeOfTheJungle Tookie-Tookie]]" don't work.
-->
work.\\
'''Wayne:''' ''(sheepish)'' Right. Sorry.
-->
Sorry.\\
''(After a short while, he starts singing into the mic, to the utter disbelief of Ira and Harry)''
-->
Harry)''\\
'''Wayne:''' ''(singing)'' You are so beautiful, to meeee... ''(Ira and Harry stare at him)''
-->
him)'' \\
'''Ira:''' ...Step back, Harry, I'm gonna shoot him.
-->
him.\\
'''Harry:''' Uh-uh, stand down! I'm gonna kill this one myself.
-->
myself.\\
'''Wayne:''' You are so beautiful, to meeee...
-->
meeee...\\
'''Harry:''' Wayne, please stop singing because you are embarassing me.
-->
me.\\
'''Wayne:''' ''(right at him)'' CAN'T YOU SEEEE-EEEEE!
** Best part? ''[[CrazyEnoughToWork It ''works''.works]].''



* Ira's "fruit basket" for General Woodman.
* Harry [[spoiler: holding the bottle backwards during the commercial at the end.]]

to:

* Ira's "fruit basket" "[[{{Mooning}} fruit basket]]" for General Woodman.
* Harry [[spoiler: holding the bottle of Head and Shoulders shampoo backwards during the commercial [[ProductPlacement commercial]] at the end.]]



--> '''Ira''': GIMME BACK MY FRIEND, YOU BIG SPHINCTER!
--> '''Harry:''' IT'S ''HOR-R-R-RIBLE'' IN HERE!
** Not to mention when Ira finally pries him out, Harry shouts, "Don't you '''EVER''' tell anyone where I've been!"
*
--> '''Ira:''' If I was a giant nasty alien bird in a department store, where would I be?
--> '''Harry:''' Lingerie.
--> '''Ira:''' Not you, the bird.
--> '''Harry:''' ...Lingerie!

to:

--> '''Ira''': GIMME BACK MY FRIEND, YOU BIG SPHINCTER!
-->
SPHINCTER!\\
'''Harry:''' IT'S ''HOR-R-R-RIBLE'' IN HERE!
** Not to mention when Ira finally pries him out, Harry shouts, "Don't out;
-->'''Harry''': Don't
you '''EVER''' tell anyone where I've been!"
*
been!
*
--> '''Ira:''' If I was a giant nasty alien bird in a department store, where would I be?
-->
be?\\
'''Harry:''' Lingerie.
-->
Lingerie.\\
'''Ira:''' Not you, the bird.
-->
bird.\\
'''Harry:''' ...Lingerie!



-->'''Allison''': Your big moment, huh? You wouldn't want to miss this for ''anything''.
-->{{beat}}, ''Ira looks at her, the two back away from the line quietly''

to:

-->'''Allison''': Your big moment, huh? You wouldn't want to miss this for ''anything''.
-->{{beat}},
''anything''.\\
{{beat}},
''Ira looks at her, the two back away from the line quietly''



-->'''Governor''': And finally, Doctors Ira Kane and Allison Reed, whose tireless efforts and research and academic findings led to the- ''[notices they're missing]'' ''[looks to Harry]''
-->'''Harry''': I think he's giving her a bit of the [[UnusualEuphemism Kane]] [[CallBack madness.]]
-->'''Governor''': ''[{{beat}}]'' '''Oh'''.

to:

-->'''Governor''': And finally, Doctors Ira Kane and Allison Reed, whose tireless efforts and research and academic findings led to the- ''[notices they're missing]'' ''[looks to Harry]''
-->'''Harry''':
Harry]''\\
'''Harry''':
I think he's giving her a bit of the [[UnusualEuphemism Kane]] [[CallBack madness.]]
-->'''Governor''':
]]\\\\
'''Governor''':
''[{{beat}}]'' '''Oh'''.
14th Mar '16 10:38:02 AM Tightwire
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--> '''Wayne:''' ''(singing)'' You are so beautiful, to meeee... ''(Ira and Harry stare at him)'' You are so beautiful, to meeee...
--> '''Harry:''' Wayne, please stop singing.
--> '''Wayne:''' ''(right at him)'' You're everything I hoped for!

to:

--> '''Wayne:''' ''(singing)'' You are so beautiful, to meeee... ''(Ira and Harry stare at him)'' You are so beautiful, to meeee...
--> '''Harry:''' Wayne, please stop singing.
--> '''Wayne:''' ''(right at him)'' You're everything I hoped for!


Added DiffLines:

--> '''Wayne:''' You are so beautiful, to meeee...
--> '''Harry:''' Wayne, please stop singing because you are embarassing me.
--> '''Wayne:''' ''(right at him)'' CAN'T YOU SEEEE-EEEEE!
14th Mar '16 10:24:05 AM Tightwire
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--> '''Wayne:''' ''(singing)'' You are so beautiful, to meeee...

to:

--> '''Wayne:''' ''(singing)'' You are so beautiful, to meeee... ''(Ira and Harry stare at him)'' You are so beautiful, to meeee...
--> '''Harry:''' Wayne, please stop singing.
--> '''Wayne:''' ''(right at him)'' You're everything I hoped for!



** It works.

to:

** It works.''works''.
14th Sep '15 6:28:56 PM Occidensill
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* Though he's seriously a jackass, this troper can't help but crack up when the General explains how to kill the alien.

to:

* Though he's seriously a jackass, this troper can't help but crack up when the The General explains how to kill the alien.
27th Jul '14 1:10:34 PM kalel32688
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* "Mazel tov, it's a boy!"

to:

* "Mazel tov, it's a boy!"
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.Evolution