History Funny / Duckman

'''Duckman:''' [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers Bad]] [[TakeThat hair]].

---> '''Kurtz''': You have no right to judge me. You have the right to kill me, but you've no right to judge me. No, wait. Reverse that. Judge me. Don't kill me. Yeah, that seems better. For no man is an island, though some are roughly the same size as one. [[Film/OnTheWaterfront I coulda been somebody. I coulda been a contender.]] [[Film/TheGodfather Senator Corleone, Governor Corleone.]] [[Film/LastTangoInParis Props, we need more butter.]] [[Film/{{Superman}} General Zod, Krypton will be destroyed!]]

--->'''Duckman:''' Have I ever told you my father's last words to me?\\
'''Cornfed:''' Mhm. [[SelfMadeOrphan "Careful, son, I don't think the safety's on."]]\\

'''Cornfed:''' Um, [[SelfMadeOrphan "Careful, son, I don't think the safety's on"]]?\\

'''Hung Lo:''' Yes. Are you asking if I can go fishing without a pole, if I can stand by myself or if I could give [[YourMom your mother]] a life?\\

'''Duckman:''' First of all, I don't think it's appropriate! Second... I'm not really in the mood.]]\\
'''Cornfed:''' Not that movie, [[Film/PeeWeesBigAdventure the movie he starred in.\\

'''Duckman:''' [[ADateWithRosiePalms First of all, I don't think it's appropriate! Second... I'm not really in the mood.]]\\
'''Cornfed:''' Not that movie, [[Film/PeeWeesBigAdventure the movie he starred in.]]\\

** North Phlegm and Dutch Elm Street can't agree on the type of table to have the surrender negotiations at, and throw out various odd designs for tables (octangular, rhomboid, tetragon, dodecagon, and trapezohedron). The final design for the table is shaped like an amoeba.
** Duckman copying GeorgePatton's iconic war speech from ''{{Patton}}'', except he's armored up with various kitchen utensils instead of a uniform, and claims that he can't fight with the others because "he's got this thing".
** The huge battle between Phlegm and Elm, with the citizens beating eachother up with various tools and assorted junk. One Elm Street member pours olive oil all over a lawn, freaking out the owner.
** The episode ends with Duckman celebrating as the only survivor in the ruins of the neighborhood, and the narrator talking about TheGoldenRule and how we need to treat others as we wish to be treated [[BaitAndSwitch so we can lull our enemies into a false sense of security before we wipe them out]].

** Duckman and Cornfed look for Ajax in a large group of baskets; Duckman finds him, and Cornfed asks how Duckman found him so fast, but quickly pinches his nose and says, "Nevermind."

* It's hilarious whenever Cornfed acts out-of-character and drops his usual deadpan demeanor, which he does when offered a case in which he and Duckman have to date two [[GagBoobs ridiculously large breasted women]].
--->'''Cornfed:''' Duckman, we have to go. I need to learn how to awaken the sexual beast that lies dormant in every woman's soul, waiting to transform her into a creature of unbridled passion, pulling at me, tugging at me, yelling '''TAKE ME CORNFED, MAKE ME YOUR LOVE SLAVE!''' ''(Beat)'' You know, that sort of thing.

--> '''Cornfed''': *camera pans out, showing that Duckman is using Cornfed as a mannequin, dressing him up in womens lingerie with a truly massive case of GagBoobs* ...no reason...

---> '''Man''': My spine...

---> '''Roland''': Phew! I was afraid while I was in there, you'd escape.\\

** Among the groups associated with Thompsons evil scheme to destroy the cure for cancer are all manner of medical professionals, New Yorkers who need apartments, and the Republican Party. They don't have anything to do with medical care, they just go where the evil is.

'''Duckman:''' Hey, that wise man was Mr. Spock, and the only reason he felt that way because he knew they'd sent his body to the Genesis planet so he could come back to life.\\