History Funny / Duckman

9th Feb '16 5:17:15 AM speedyboris
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** This line, after Cornfed derides the idea of a gland transplant creating a behavioral change: --> '''Duckman''': Can it and sell it to someone else, bacon boy. If I were interested in science, I wouldn't have spent all that classroom time in the porno arcade.
3rd Jan '16 10:24:34 AM speedyboris
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* "It's the Thing of the Principal": When Duckman visits Ajax's school, some soldiers are nearby: --> '''Soldier''': ''(on the phone)'' Yes sir, I'll tell 'em the good news! ''(hangs up)'' Boys, we're goin' to Bosnia!\\ ''(everyone cheers)''
21st Dec '15 12:01:14 PM SilentStranger
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** The scene in the court room: --> '''Judge''': Court is in session! And allow me to introduce some close personal friends - American Cops, American Dicks, American Stenographers, American Court Janitors and our very own slap-happy singleton! *courtroom cheers* ** The cameraman accidently walking into the office next to Duckmans, which turns out to house an erotic massage parlor. ** Duckman not noticing that his car has been stripped clean of parts while they were gone, including ''the exterior''. The only part he notices is askew is that his car refreshener is gone, until he finds it on the floor. ** The cameraman tripping over Ajax who is bending down to pick up what he thinks is a chocolate bar from the ground, and accidently smashes into Duckman with the camera. --> '''Ajax''': ...ew, this isnt a chocolate bar...

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** The [[WallStreet Gordon Gecko]]-expy they visit who is the last of America's exes.

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** The origin of Cornfed's disease - its a curse put upon his family by a tribe of South Pacific tribesmen after his ancestor accidently insulted the chief's daughter. --> '''Documentary Narrator''': While meeting with the village elder, he tells Cornfed "This is my only daughter, isnt she beautiful?" But Cornfed speaks only a little of the tribes language, and interprets it as [[OhCrap "I would consider it a great honor if you pretended to make loud donkey noises and pretend to vomit at my feet"]]. [[Understatement The results are disastrous]]

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** Or the Duckman who had Bernice's head transplanted on his body. When he shows up, he looks half dead. --> '''Bernice!Duckman''': [[FateWorseThanDeath Kill me, kill me please...]]

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** Duckman throwing Ajax out of the car on the way to his new girlfriends house, because due to Ajax weird accent, he misunderstands Ajax saying her name, mistaking "Tamy" for [[MistakenForGay "Tommy"]]. Not out of homophobia, but because he's afraid women will think it runs in the family and he has hard enough a time to get women as it is.
21st Dec '15 11:23:05 AM Geoduck
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* In "Role With It", Cornfed ends up having to drive cross-country with the duo. He rejoins the rest of the group, looking rather crazed and Fluffy and Uranus nowhere in sight.
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* In "Role With It", Cornfed ends up having to drive cross-country with the duo. Fluffy and Uranus. He rejoins the rest of the group, looking rather crazed and Fluffy and Uranus the duo nowhere in sight.
11th Dec '15 10:17:34 AM SilentStranger
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** Duckmans inability to get Dr Bruvenheim's name right --> '''Duckman''': Hey, you're not Farfignewton! --> '''Bruvenheim''': Bruvenheim! ** The supercomputer masquerading as Bruvenheim reveals that the real Bruvenheim has gone into hiding in a "perverse subculture full of scum and lowlives". [[TakeThat Cue a cutaway to Bruvenheim participating in Star Search]]. ** The supercomputer self destructing after it is unable to process the inherent paradox of the human condition of wanting things to be bad and good at the same time.

** Duckman wussing out of going on the dangerous rollercoaster, only to instead get injured on a pathetically child friendly merry go round. ** The annoying Magic Kingdom mascot who lists off a ridiculous list of rules for the park, such as "no outside food, no interracial dating and No On Proposition 24". Duckman proceeds to kick him off a ledge and proclaims "no hands!"

** The hellhole that is Ajax's high school. Among the highlights: A student and teacher kissing in a locker ("It's okay, I'm her geometry teacher. Hey, I ain't in it for the ''salary''."), a huge rolling boulder of trash from the cafeteria, a gang of ''Theatre/WestSideStory''-esque hoodlums ("Cool it, daddy-o. Let's save our strength for the Sharks."), the DrivenToMadness hall monitor ("You don't have a hall pass either, DO YOU?! ''(maniacal laughter)''", and an audio ShoutOut to ''Film/ApocalypseNow'' ("The horror... the horror...").
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** The hellhole that is Ajax's high school. Among the highlights: A student and teacher kissing in a locker ("It's okay, I'm her geometry teacher. Hey, I ain't in it for the ''salary''."), a huge rolling boulder of trash from the cafeteria, a gang of ''Theatre/WestSideStory''-esque hoodlums ("Cool it, daddy-o. Let's save our strength for the Sharks."), ") and another gang who looks like ''TheLittleRascals'', the DrivenToMadness hall monitor ("You don't have a hall pass either, DO YOU?! ''(maniacal laughter)''", and an audio ShoutOut to ''Film/ApocalypseNow'' ("The horror... the horror...").

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** The hellhole that is Ajax's high school. Among After spending time at the highlights: A student and teacher kissing school, Ajax is sitting in a locker ("It's okay, I'm her geometry teacher. Hey, I ain't in it for the ''salary''."), field pondering a huge rolling boulder flower and gives brief academical summary of trash from the cafeteria, a gang of ''Theatre/WestSideStory''-esque hoodlums ("Cool it, daddy-o. Let's save our strength for the Sharks."), the DrivenToMadness hall monitor ("You don't have a hall pass either, DO YOU?! ''(maniacal laughter)''", and an audio ShoutOut to ''Film/ApocalypseNow'' ("The horror... the horror...").[[OOCIsSeriousBusiness then freaks out over his own uncharacteristic behavior]]

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** The hellhole that is Ajax's high school. Among the highlights: A student and teacher kissing in Duckman going on a locker ("It's okay, I'm her geometry teacher. Hey, I ain't in it for the ''salary''."), a huge rolling boulder of trash from the cafeteria, a gang of ''Theatre/WestSideStory''-esque hoodlums ("Cool it, daddy-o. Let's save our strength for the Sharks."), the DrivenToMadness hall monitor ("You don't have a hall pass either, DO YOU?! ''(maniacal laughter)''", and an audio ShoutOut to ''Film/ApocalypseNow'' ("The horror... the horror...").MushroomSamba after eating some old canned chili.

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** The hellhole that is Ajax's high school. Among Said women arent exactly the highlights: A student and teacher kissing brightest bulbs in a locker ("It's okay, I'm the bucket either. When they're introducing themselves, the blonde actually forgets her geometry teacher. Hey, I ain't in it for the ''salary''."), a huge rolling boulder of trash from the cafeteria, a gang of ''Theatre/WestSideStory''-esque hoodlums ("Cool it, daddy-o. Let's save our strength for the Sharks."), the DrivenToMadness hall monitor ("You don't have a hall pass either, DO YOU?! ''(maniacal laughter)''", and an audio ShoutOut to ''Film/ApocalypseNow'' ("The horror... the horror...").own ''name'', then ends up telling them her name is Cornfed, because he just said it.

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** The hellhole would-be assassin that is Ajax's high school. Among Duckman accidently stops. --> '''Crazed Gunman''': ''Make the highlights: A student rabbits leave me alone!!!'' ** Duckman giving a long-winded speech about heroism and teacher kissing in duty while visiting a locker ("It's okay, I'm her geometry teacher. Hey, I ain't in it GeraldoRivera-type show, only for the ''salary''."), a huge rolling boulder host to reveal that he has taped footage of trash from Duckmans ACTUAL actions during the cafeteria, a gang attempted assassination (he was groping two of ''Theatre/WestSideStory''-esque hoodlums ("Cool it, daddy-o. Let's save our strength for the Sharks."), women fawning over the DrivenToMadness hall monitor ("You don't have a hall pass either, DO YOU?! ''(maniacal laughter)''", president and an audio ShoutOut to ''Film/ApocalypseNow'' ("The horror... got slapped into the horror...").assassin).

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** Cut to Ajax lying in the hospital. --> '''Ajax''': Luckily, thanks to some non-FDA approved drugs, I'll be up again by tomorrow. Unfortunatly, thats when the football team said they'd be by to beat me up again. ** The hellhole that is Ajax's high school. Among kids being driven to attempted suicide by Duckmans overbearing parenting. --> '''Duckman''': Heh, kids and their cute little deathgames. ** Duckmans first attempt at looking like a good dad, playing catch with them... in the highlights: A student and teacher kissing in a locker ("It's okay, I'm her geometry teacher. Hey, I ain't in it for middle of the ''salary''."), a huge rolling boulder of trash from the cafeteria, a gang of ''Theatre/WestSideStory''-esque hoodlums ("Cool it, daddy-o. Let's save our strength for the Sharks."), the DrivenToMadness hall monitor ("You don't have a hall pass either, DO YOU?! ''(maniacal laughter)''", and an audio ShoutOut to ''Film/ApocalypseNow'' ("The horror... the horror...").night. --> '''Bernice''': Have you flipped your flop?! Its pitch black outside!

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** The hellhole that is Ajax's high school. Among hilariously offensive Vietnam War-based theme park, which includes a spookhouse with the highlights: A student theme "Long National Nightmare" and teacher kissing in a locker ("It's okay, I'm her geometry teacher. Hey, I ain't in it for "bomb the ''salary''."), a huge rolling boulder of trash from the cafeteria, a gang of ''Theatre/WestSideStory''-esque hoodlums ("Cool it, daddy-o. Let's save our strength for the Sharks."), the DrivenToMadness hall monitor ("You don't have a hall pass either, DO YOU?! ''(maniacal laughter)''", and an audio ShoutOut to ''Film/ApocalypseNow'' ("The horror... the horror...").hut" game. **

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** The hellhole that is Ajax's high school. Among the highlights: A student and teacher kissing in a locker ("It's okay, I'm her geometry teacher. Hey, I ain't in it various applicants for the ''salary''."), nanny job that Bernice rejects, including a huge rolling boulder of trash from the cafeteria, a gang of ''Theatre/WestSideStory''-esque hoodlums ("Cool it, daddy-o. Let's save our strength for the Sharks."), the DrivenToMadness hall monitor ("You don't have a hall pass either, DO YOU?! ''(maniacal laughter)''", MonsterClown, MichaelJackson and a devil worshipper. Duckman had no problem with that last one. --> '''Bernice''': Duckman, he was wearing an audio ShoutOut ''I Heart Satan''-T Shirt! --> '''Duckman''': Bernice, I never thought you'd be one to ''Film/ApocalypseNow'' ("The horror... the horror...").discriminate based on religion. When he's done slaughtering that chicken, he could sue!
11th Dec '15 7:22:22 AM speedyboris
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* "Cock Tales For Four": King Chicken and Duckman's huge simultaneous belch (followed by the two laughing hysterically) at the end of act two.
4th Nov '15 9:10:13 AM speedyboris
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** When Honiss is approached by a woman with a sick kid: --> '''Woman''': He's your biggest fan. If you could just sign his oxygen tank, "Keep on fighting, little slugger. This one's going extra innings.", it would make his day.\\ '''Honiss''': That's five bucks a word for the inscription and ten for the signature.\\ '''Woman''': Oh. ''(leaves)''
9th Oct '15 7:48:53 AM speedyboris
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--> '''Terry''': ''(showing slides)'' And then, he took the electric carving knife cut her into little pieces, and fed her to his dog. And as for the rest of the orphans...\\
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--> '''Terry''': ''(showing slides)'' And then, he took the electric carving knife knife, cut her into little pieces, and fed her to his dog. And as for the rest of the orphans...\\
30th Sep '15 5:23:17 PM speedyboris
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--> '''Duckman''': I know! You'd think they could atleast mix things up a bit!
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--> '''Duckman''': I know! You'd think they could atleast mix things up they'd at least change a bit!word or two!
17th Sep '15 9:58:22 AM speedyboris
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* The ending to "Haunted Society Plumbers", where a BedsheetGhost scares away Duckman and Cornfed to eat their donuts and is revealed to be none other than [[spoiler:[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Homer Simpson]]]].
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* The ending to "Haunted Society Plumbers", Plumbers": The ridiculously long name of Duckman and Cornfed's business, which they repeat many times: A-A-A-A-A-A-A- A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A- A-A-A-A-A-A-A-1 Plumbing. --> '''Duckman''': [[LampshadeHanging Come on, we don't even have a plot yet.]] ** The ending, where a BedsheetGhost scares away Duckman and Cornfed to eat their donuts and is revealed to be none other than [[spoiler:[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Homer Simpson]]]].
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