History Funny / Duckman

23rd Jul '16 1:29:15 AM CaptainTedium
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** The supercomputer naming itself Loretta.
19th Jul '16 2:43:28 PM SilentStranger
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*** Duckman insists on treating his community service like the movie ''DangerousMinds''. In his defense, the school IS a dilabidated slum. Unfortunatly, the class HE'S teaching are all college-bound honor students.
** Duckman making a complete mockery of his trial, and the judge getting angrier and angrier. First of all, his defense is nothing but him listing the plot for the various ''{{Leprechaun}}'', ''PuppetMaster'' and ''ManiacCop'' movies, and he keeps adressing the jury despite the fact that this is a ''civil trial'' and thus there is no jury.
--> '''Judge''': For the LAST TIME, there IS no jury!! *points to the jury stand which is empty*
--> '''Duckman''': *pauses, covers one eye with his hand, then uncovers it* Man, I knew I was drunk, but I must be ''DRUNK''!
** The judge finally gets sick of Duckmans disrespectful and nonsensical behavior and sentences him to 4000 hours of community service, and tells the bailif to shoot him unless Duckman isnt gone in 10 seconds.
19th Jul '16 9:54:20 AM speedyboris
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** Duckmans "secret drink", which is really [GargleBlaster Formula 409]]. Bernice forcefeeds some to Duckman to show its safe to drink.

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** Duckmans "secret drink", which is really [GargleBlaster [[GargleBlaster Formula 409]]. Bernice forcefeeds some to Duckman to show its safe to drink.
22nd Jun '16 12:13:26 PM speedyboris
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--> '''Documentary Narrator''': While meeting with the village elder, he tells Cornfed "This is my only daughter, isnt she beautiful?" But Cornfed speaks only a little of the tribes language, and interprets it as [[OhCrap "I would consider it a great honor if you pretended to make loud donkey noises and pretend to vomit at my feet"]]. [[{{Understatement}} The results are disastrous]]

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--> '''Documentary Narrator''': While meeting with the village elder, he tells Cornfed "This is my only daughter, isnt she beautiful?" But Cornfed speaks only a little of the tribes language, and interprets it as [[OhCrap "I would consider it a great honor if you pretended to make loud donkey noises and pretend to vomit at my feet"]]. [[{{Understatement}} The results are disastrous]]disastrous.]]
** The same documentary has a parody of Civil War letters:
--> '''Ulysses S. Grant''': "I seek a favor, old friend. Relations with the savage tribes of Massapequa are at an impasse, and we are sorely in need of the whale bone mines they control. Our corset industry depends on you, Cornfed. Love to Melville. President Ulysses S. Grant, White House, Washington D.C., E-mail: President@Anachronism.com."
22nd Jun '16 12:08:29 PM speedyboris
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** Duckman's sitting in traffic and his window's open. A bunch of insects cover his head, and he deadpans, "Note to self: No more meat-flavored cologne."
22nd Jun '16 12:05:40 PM speedyboris
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** Duckmans attempting to escape from the therapy group to go indulge in his various addictions, and Cornfeds increasingly elaborate attempts at keeping him there.

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** Duckmans attempting to escape from the therapy group to go indulge in his various addictions, and Cornfeds Cornfed's increasingly elaborate attempts at keeping him there.
13th May '16 10:10:50 AM speedyboris
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**

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** The movie director's insistence that he use real ammunition in his movies, not blanks.
13th May '16 10:07:39 AM speedyboris
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** Dr Milo designed a mechanical senate page who gives Stark an electric shock everytime he tries to grope him.
--> '''Cornfed''': Ah, electroshock therapy, thereby making you not want to touch him.
--> '''Stark''': I doubt it, he's so damn cute!

to:

** Dr Milo designed a mechanical senate page who gives Stark an electric shock everytime every time he tries to grope him.
--> '''Cornfed''': Ah, electroshock therapy, thereby making you Aversion therapy. By associating pain with a specific pleasure, you'll be conditioned not want to touch him.
-->
do it again.\\
'''Stark''': I doubt it, he's so damn cute!
12th May '16 9:47:43 AM speedyboris
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-->'''Duckman:''' So what? Mo one notices, except the people who are supposed to park there. And hell, I can outrun them any day.
-->'''Cornfed:''' Extra police are here because the President is touring the neighborhood today. Perhaps they thought you looked suspicious.
-->'''Duckman:''' Suspicious? Me? Ridiculous. ''[[NotHelpingYourCase (reads a copy of "Bitter Crazed Loner Monthly", which has a swastika on the front page)]]''

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-->'''Duckman:''' So what? Mo one notices, except the people who are supposed to park there. And hell, I can outrun them any day.
-->'''Cornfed:'''
day.\\
'''Cornfed:'''
Extra police are here because the President is touring the neighborhood today. Perhaps they thought you looked suspicious.
-->'''Duckman:'''
suspicious.\\
'''Duckman:'''
Suspicious? Me? Ridiculous. ''[[NotHelpingYourCase (reads a copy of "Bitter Crazed Loner Monthly", which has a swastika on the front page)]]''


Added DiffLines:

** "While the world watched, the life of the most important person on the planet who isn't me was saved by one man, Duckman. An exclusive today on ''Geofredo'', an episode that's so important, half of it will be commercials. Back in seven minutes."
30th Apr '16 8:09:41 AM aye_amber
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** The various applicants for the nanny job that Bernice rejects, including a MonsterClown, MichaelJackson and a devil worshipper. Duckman had no problem with that last one.

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** The various applicants for the nanny job that Bernice rejects, including a MonsterClown, MichaelJackson Music/MichaelJackson , and a devil worshipper. Duckman had no problem with that last one.
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.Duckman