History Funny / DragonAgeII

10th Dec '17 10:27:26 PM LadyNorbert
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*** Between then and Inquisition Varric expands it into a serial, and claims it was the simgle worst thing he ever had published. Cassandra's a fan though
1st Nov '17 12:53:13 AM yin_13147
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* There's a guy at the Hanged Man who tries hitting on women. A female Hawke and romanced Merrill will have him hit on her, resulting in this gem of TooMuchInformation.
-->'''Merrill:''' That'll never work. Your tongue is not nearly raspy enough. At best you'll just drool a lot.

to:

* There's a guy at the Hanged Man who tries hitting on women. A female Hawke and romanced Merrill will have him hit on her, resulting in this gem of TooMuchInformation.
-->'''Merrill:''' That'll never work. Your tongue is not nearly raspy enough. At best you'll just drool a lot.


Added DiffLines:

** Having a female Hawke and romanced Merrill along will have Emile hit on Hawke, resulting in this gem of TooMuchInformation.
--->'''Merrill:''' That'll never work. Your tongue is not nearly raspy enough. At best you'll just drool a lot.
10th Sep '17 4:12:02 PM LadyNorbert
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* Some of Aggressive!Hawke's comments are just so unbelievably anti-social, it's hilarious. For example, this little gem after Anders' first quest and his explanation about Justice:

to:

* Some of Aggressive!Hawke's comments are just so unbelievably anti-social, it's hilarious. For example, this little gem after Anders' Anders's first quest and his explanation about Justice:



** In the same quest where the above dialogue is uttered, You can have [[TheCharmer Varric]] disarm the confrontation with Feynriel's kidnappers [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6Ov5D5d40w in the most outlandish way possible]].

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** In the same quest where the above dialogue is uttered, You you can have [[TheCharmer Varric]] disarm the confrontation with Feynriel's kidnappers [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6Ov5D5d40w in the most outlandish way possible]].



-->'''Isabela:''' The difference between courtesan and a whore is... well, the shoes are nicer.\\

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-->'''Isabela:''' The difference between a courtesan and a whore is... well, the shoes are nicer.\\



* The entire scene with Jethann is comedy gold. From the way he says "why work if you're not working HARD?" along with the several unique animations the developers made him perform when speaking in innuendos. It's something that really just has to be [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt6IomRGNfc seen to be fully appreciated.]]

to:

* ** The entire scene with Jethann is comedy gold. From gold, both for the way he says "why "Why work if you're not working HARD?" along with the several unique animations the developers made him perform when speaking in innuendos. It's something that really just has to be [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt6IomRGNfc seen to be fully appreciated.]]



* Carver's reaction if Hawke hits on Jethann is priceless, both if Hawke accepts or if he decides to hold off.
** Bethany's is good too, even if you turn Jethann down, she says: "It's too late now! The [[BrainBleach images are in my head]] and they are ''never, ever'' going away!"

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* *** Carver's reaction if Hawke hits on Jethann is priceless, both if Hawke accepts or if he decides to hold off.
** *** Bethany's is good too, even too; if you consider accepting but then turn Jethann him down, she says: "It's too late now! The [[BrainBleach images are in my head]] and they are ''never, ever'' going away!"
10th Sep '17 2:18:46 PM LadyNorbert
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* If you ask the bartender in Hanged Man about news, he may mention that the pigeon population in Ferelden has been declining sharply and wonder what kind of sick creature would kill harmless birds. The longer it takes you realize that this is an instance of the RunningGag about [[spoiler:Shale's hatred of birds in general]], the funnier it gets.

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* If you ask the bartender in Hanged Man about news, he may mention that the pigeon population in Ferelden has been declining sharply and wonder what kind of sick creature would kill harmless birds. The longer it takes you to realize that this is an instance of the RunningGag about [[spoiler:Shale's hatred of birds in general]], the funnier it gets.



** For one of these, the completed quest in the journal reads "Bonwald has his shopping list. Tremble, oh Thedas."

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** For one of these, the completed quest in the journal reads reads, "Bonwald has his shopping list. Tremble, oh Thedas."



** The following has to be the most hilarious sentence ever uttered by mankind;

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** The following has to be the most hilarious sentence ever uttered by mankind;mankind:



** [[spoiler:Flemeth]] in general, actually. During her introduction, when Aveline tells you that she is [[spoiler:the Witch of the Wilds]], she responds "Some call me that. Also [[spoiler:Flemeth]], Ashe'bellenar, an old hag who talks too much."

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** [[spoiler:Flemeth]] in general, actually. During her introduction, when Aveline tells you that she is [[spoiler:the Witch of the Wilds]], she responds responds, "Some call me that. Also [[spoiler:Flemeth]], Ashe'bellenar, an [[spoiler:Flemeth]]. Ashe'bellenar. An old hag who talks too much."" (It's not too hard to guess who calls her that last one.)
26th Aug '17 3:35:45 AM tsstevens
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to:

* There's a guy at the Hanged Man who tries hitting on women. A female Hawke and romanced Merrill will have him hit on her, resulting in this gem of TooMuchInformation.
-->'''Merrill:''' That'll never work. Your tongue is not nearly raspy enough. At best you'll just drool a lot.
20th Aug '17 10:43:29 AM MinisterOfSinister
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* This bit, if you romance Anders as [[FanNickname Lady Hawke]]:
-->'''Gamlen:''' I hear you moved that apostate boy into your house. You ''really'' are your mother's daughter.

to:

* This bit, if you romance Anders as [[FanNickname Lady Hawke]]:
Female Hawke:
-->'''Gamlen:''' I hear you moved that apostate boy into your house. [[LikeFatherLikeSon You ''really'' really are your mother's daughter.]]



-->'''Varric:''' Isabela...''are you talking to Bianca''?

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-->'''Varric:''' Isabela... ''are you talking to Bianca''?Bianca?''



--> '''Varric:''' Rivaini. Stop looking at my chest. MyEyesAreUpHere.

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--> '''Varric:''' Rivaini. Stop Rivaini, stop looking at my chest. MyEyesAreUpHere.



-->'''Isabela:''' Mmm...I like you all grown up.

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-->'''Isabela:''' Mmm... I like you all grown up.



-->'''Carver:''' With passion'd breath comes darkness, but with many against Her, She finds His light untiring as it parts the Veil.

to:

-->'''Carver:''' [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything With passion'd breath comes darkness, but with many against Her, She finds His light untiring as it parts the Veil.]]



-->'''Merrill:''' Yes! And make him extra fluffy!* The "humor" response to Bethany being a bit upset [[spoiler:about being a Grey Warden,]] talking about how she endures because she can. Hawke does a rather silly dance, and Bethany smiles, and she fondly remembers how Carver would dance that jig to make her happy whenever her knees got skinned, a pet died, or a toy was broken. Very touching moment.

to:

-->'''Merrill:''' Yes! And make him extra fluffy!* fluffy!
*
The "humor" response to Bethany being a bit upset [[spoiler:about being a Grey Warden,]] talking about how she endures because she can. Hawke does a rather silly dance, and Bethany smiles, and she fondly remembers how Carver would dance that jig to make her happy whenever her knees got skinned, a pet died, or a toy was broken. Very touching moment.



'''Hawke:''' ''(chuckles)'' \\

to:

'''Hawke:''' ''(chuckles)'' \\



---> '''Aggressive!Hawke:''' [[TranquilFury Back. Off.]]

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---> '''Aggressive!Hawke:''' [[TranquilFury [[ClingyJealousGirl Back. Off.]]



* Snarky!Hawke explaining the situation to [[BigBad Corypheus]] as though he were a child;

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* Snarky!Hawke explaining the situation to [[BigBad Corypheus]] as though he were a child;child.



* Varric finally gives Hawke a nickname. [[AntiHero Aggressive!Hawke]] is Killer, [[DeadpanSnarker Snarky!Hawke]] is Chuckles and [[TheHero Diplomatic!Hawke]] is...[[StealthInsult Waffles]].

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* Varric finally gives Hawke a nickname. [[AntiHero Aggressive!Hawke]] is Killer, [[DeadpanSnarker Snarky!Hawke]] is Chuckles and [[TheHero Diplomatic!Hawke]] is... [[StealthInsult Waffles]].



--> '''Isabela:''' I know! Burglary and espionage! I'm so proud of him right now, I could burst!
--> '''Varric:''' Soon, he'll be sharking card games and swindling merchants all on his own! Brings a tear to my eye!

to:

--> '''Isabela:''' I know! Burglary and espionage! I'm so proud of him right now, I could burst!
burst!/Burglary and espionage! We should've hired a painter to get her portrait so we can remember this day forever!
--> '''Varric:''' Soon, he'll be sharking card games and swindling merchants all on his own! Brings a tear to my eye!eye!/Next thing you know, she'll be conning guards and cutting purses without us. Where does the time go?



** The alternative responses for the other two Hawkes are a hoot as well.
-->'''Diplomatic!Hawke:''' Don't get carried away.\\
'''Isabela:''' Carried away? Us? Perish the thought!\\
'''Varric:''' [[BlatantLies We are the very souls of moderation]], Hawke. You know that.

-->'''Aggressive!Hawke:''' [[ImStandingRightHere I can hear you, you know.]]\\
'''Isabela:''' Still [[GrumpyBear a grump]], though. So much to teach, so little time...



--> '''Isabela:''' Wait-- I'm ''helping'' [[spoiler:the Qunari]] recover some priceless [[spoiler:artifact]]? Oh, the ''irony''.

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--> '''Isabela:''' Wait-- Wait -- I'm ''helping'' [[spoiler:the Qunari]] recover some priceless [[spoiler:artifact]]? Oh, the ''irony''.
13th Aug '17 6:31:51 PM ImpudentInfidel
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* Once you know what's going on and that the Duke is fluent in Qunlat, the beginning of the party is hilarious. Tallis walks up to the Duke in armor that clearly features the Qunari sigil and politely introduces herself as "Assassin". No wonder he had a trap prepared later; it's astonishing he kept a straight face.
13th Aug '17 5:25:08 PM ImpudentInfidel
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Added DiffLines:

*** Between then and Inquisition Varric expands it into a serial, and claims it was the simgle worst thing he ever had published. Cassandra's a fan though
13th Aug '17 4:32:01 PM ImpudentInfidel
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-->'''Varric''' I don't know why Hawke did help Tallis. I suppose the elf ''did'' have her nose..."

to:

-->'''Varric''' I don't know why Hawke did help Tallis. I suppose the elf ''did'' have her nose..."
nose...
13th Aug '17 4:31:06 PM ImpudentInfidel
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to:

* At the end of the mission when it's back to Varric and Cassandra discussing events:
-->'''Varric''' I don't know why Hawke did help Tallis. I suppose the elf ''did'' have her nose..."
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