History Funny / DesperateHousewives

25th May '15 8:57:16 AM Lancelot07
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* "Tuesday is no good! Tuesday is the day I... become a lesbian!"

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* Susan trying to tell her mailman she's not interested in him: "Tuesday is no good! Tuesday is the day I... become a lesbian!"
26th Apr '15 9:41:13 AM Lancelot07
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* "Tuesday is no good! Tuesday is the day I... the day I become a lesbian!"

to:

* "Tuesday is no good! Tuesday is the day I... the day I become a lesbian!"
26th Apr '15 7:17:35 AM Lancelot07
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Added DiffLines:

* "Tuesday is no good! Tuesday is the day I... the day I become a lesbian!"
23rd Jul '14 3:56:50 PM ShorinBJ
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-->'''Bree:''' We can't let her live here! There are crack heads and prostitutes.
-->'''Orson:''' And we'll apologies to them later, right now we need to get her out of our house.

to:

-->'''Bree:''' We can't let her live here! there! There are crack heads and prostitutes.
-->'''Orson:''' And we'll apologies apologize to them later, later; right now we need to get her out of our house.


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* The episode with the working mother at Lynette's office who still breast-feeds her five year old culminates in Lynette playing drug dealer with chocolate milk as the drug.
9th May '13 10:27:09 PM Sifr1889
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* Carlos explaining to Juanita (his daughter) about what happened to Juanita (his mother). Little Juanita winds up thinking that Bree killed their grandmother. The Solis girl's subsequent reactions for the rest of the episode are hysterical, but special mention goes to Celia's expression when Juanita tells her 'Bree killed Grandma'.

to:

* Carlos explaining to Juanita (his daughter) about what happened to Juanita (his mother). Little Juanita winds up thinking that Bree killed their grandmother. The Solis girl's subsequent reactions for the rest of the episode are hysterical, but special mention goes to Celia's expression when Juanita tells her 'Bree killed Grandma'.Grandma'.
* Susan discovering MJ isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. Particularly when she and Mike watch him struggle to get his hand out of a jar for a good 30 seconds before ''finally'' figuring it out, only for their relief to be short-lived, as Susan quickly notices;
--> '''Susan''': Oh no, he's got a knife and he's [[TooDumbToLive heading to the toaster!]]
16th Jan '13 8:36:20 AM Psyclone
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Added DiffLines:

* Another hilarious Orson moment while he and Bree were staying at Susan's during some home renovation. Orson's guilt over [[spoiler:having run over Mike]] the previous season is causing him to sleepwalk...naked. Susan finds him doing so out in their front lawn...so she ''slaps'' him awake. Once he realizes what is happening, he bolts out... to ''the wrong house'', only to come back when Susan points it out.
27th Dec '12 3:20:55 PM JIKTV
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* In the first season, Bree is hosting a dinner party during a period when she and Rex have been arguing. It is initially awkward, so Mike and Susan help break the tension by recounting the already pretty funny sequence of events that led to him discovering her locked out of the house naked earlier in the episode. The rest of the couples get going with embarassing facts or stories about their partners to lift everyone spirits and just when you think it's working Bree matter-of-factly gives her contribution: "Rex cries after he ejaculates." The characters on screen are now awkward again but for the viewer at home this just became instantly hilarious.

to:

* In Episode 3 of the first season, "Pretty Little Picture," Bree is hosting a dinner party during a period when she and Rex have been arguing. It is initially awkward, so Mike and Susan help break the tension by recounting the already pretty funny sequence of events that led to him discovering her locked out of the house naked earlier in the episode. The rest of the couples get going with embarassing facts or stories about their partners to lift everyone spirits and just when you think it's working Bree matter-of-factly gives her contribution: "Rex cries after he ejaculates." The characters on screen are now awkward again but for the viewer at home this just became instantly hilarious.



* The gentlemanly, reserved, StiffUpperLip Orson loudly declaring himself a sex machine will pumping his fists and doing pelvic thrusts over breakfast.

to:

* The gentlemanly, reserved, StiffUpperLip Orson loudly declaring himself a sex machine will while pumping his fists and doing pelvic thrusts over breakfast.
26th Aug '12 7:25:03 AM FELH2
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* Lynette pretends to be a teenage girl online to keep an eye on who one of her sons is chatting with. Her son proceeds to fall in love with this persona, and when Tom finds out: "Could you let him know before [[OedipusRex he kills me and blinds himself?]]"

to:

* Lynette pretends to be a teenage girl online to keep an eye on who one of her sons is chatting with. Her son proceeds to fall in love with this persona, and when Tom finds out: "Could you let him know before [[OedipusRex [[Theatre/OedipusRex he kills me and blinds himself?]]"
31st May '12 4:43:47 PM Belfagor
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-->'''Orson:''' We can't let her live here, there are crack heads and prostitutes.
-->'''Bree:''' And we'll apologies to them later right now we need to get her out of our house.

to:

-->'''Bree:''' We can't let her live here! There are crack heads and prostitutes.
-->'''Orson:''' We can't let her live here, there are crack heads and prostitutes.
-->'''Bree:'''
And we'll apologies to them later later, right now we need to get her out of our house.
10th May '12 4:17:42 AM bhouston
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Added DiffLines:

* In season two, after convincing her priest a nun and her husband were having an affair, getting her transferred, is confronted by said nun. This leads to an extended cat fight sequence...in the church.
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