History Funny / Deadwood

8th Apr '15 10:15:16 PM Racso
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-->'''Jimmy:'' I'm just gonna roll forward. so I don't get trampled.

to:

-->'''Jimmy:'' -->'''Jimmy:''' I'm just gonna roll forward. so I don't get trampled.trampled.
-->[Al walks off in disbelief]
8th Apr '15 10:14:48 PM Racso
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* Swearengen confronts his lackey Jimmy Irons about stealing his opium, threatens to throw Jimmy off the balcony, and punches him in the face. Things get a little weird after that, with Jimmy's casual acceptance of the whole series of events really selling it.
-->'''Jimmy:''' I just shit myself, sir. I'm saying it now before the smell gets you.
-->'''Al:''' (incredulous) You shit yourself?
-->'''Jimmy:''' I'm sorry, go ahead.
-->'''Al:''' Throw yourself off the balcony.
-->'''Jimmy:''' I'm gonna crawl, sir. I shouldn't stand.
-->'''Al:''' Hurry the fuck up. Go on, throw yourself! Stay in the fucking muck until I'm down there.
-->'''Jimmy:''' (hand recoils from ground) Just got a splinter the size of my arm in my fucking palm. (notices Al's angry expression). Its alright.
-->'''Al:''' ''Go.'' Go get your shit-smeared ass off my balcony. Go! Go, go!
-->[Jimmy jumps off the balcony and falls in the mud]
-->'''Jimmy:''' I hurt my arm but I'm okay.
-->'''Al:''' Fucking lie there now.
-->'''Jimmy:'' I'm just gonna roll forward. so I don't get trampled.
30th Mar '15 5:05:56 PM adbrown
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* Almost any kind of interaction between Swearengen and Mr. Wu turns out like this, thanks to them each understanding maybe five words of the other man's language.
** Particular highlights include Wu trying to explain to Swearengen that their opium courier got robbed... though pantomime, charcoal sketches, and repeated shouts of "White cocksuckas!" Swearengen replies [[SarcasmMode "I'm so glad I taught you that fuckin' word."]] Johnny comments that it's the first time he's heard anyone but Al shouting "cocksucker" in Al's office that wasn't immediately followed by Al coming up and gesturing for Dan to bring his knife.
** "[[WhosOnFirst NOT WU, WHO,]] YOU IGNORANT FUCKING CHINK!"
** There's even a BilingualBonus moment when Swearengen tries to explain the enmity between him and Hearst using a term--"bak gwai lo"--he'd heard Wu use about people Wu didn't like. Wu's confused expression becomes hilarious if you know that Swearengen just called himself and Hearst "white devils." Rather appropriate...



* "[[WhosOnFirst NOT WU, WHO,]] YOU IGNORANT FUCKING CHINK!"
29th Aug '14 1:00:54 PM LadyJafaria
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Added DiffLines:

** From that same scene, her yelling "ARE YOU DEAD?" at him.
23rd Jun '14 5:25:00 PM SandWindandWar
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Added DiffLines:

--> Man: I 'pologize . . .
--> Jane: SHUT THE ''FUCK'' UP!
7th Oct '13 8:33:35 PM ManCalledTrue
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Added DiffLines:

* Swearengen tries desperately to get the Chinese pig farmer to explain who stole his opium. The only English the Chinaman knows is "Cocksucker!" The conversation radically goes off the rails.
* Calamity Jane encounters a man dying of the plague that will soon hit Deadwood, and rapidly grows tired of the only thing he can say.
5th Oct '12 12:55:36 AM Jeeves
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** The swatches scene with the German tailor. To say more would ruin it.
** "Among humans, for grip, the China-woman's snatch has no peer. In all nature, the python is its only rival, though few have lived to tell the tale..."

to:

** * The swatches scene with the German tailor. To say more would ruin it.
** * "Among humans, for grip, the China-woman's snatch has no peer. In all nature, the python is its only rival, though few have lived to tell the tale..."



* E.B. advising some new arrivals to "not look to your left as you egress," if they're religiously inclined, as Pete is doing a Pagan-like ritual with the antler Alma gave him.

to:

* E.B. advising some new arrivals to "not look to your left as you egress," if they're religiously inclined, as Pete Richardson is doing a Pagan-like ritual with the antler Alma gave him.
8th Aug '12 3:50:45 PM Jeeves
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-->Merrick "Vaccinations will be distributed gratis"
-->Al "Free gratis"
-->Merrick "Free gratis would be a redundancy"
-->Al "Then just put free!"
-->Merrick "What a keen editorial judgement you have Al"

to:

-->Merrick "Vaccinations -->Merrick: "The vaccine will be distributed gratis"
-->Al "Free gratis"
-->Merrick "Free
gratis."
-->Al: Free gratis.
-->Merrick: Free
gratis would be is a redundancy"
-->Al "Then just put free!"
-->Merrick "What
redundancy.
-->EB: Does that mean 'repeats itself'?
-->Al: Then leave gratis out.
-->Merrick: What luck for me Al, that you have such
a keen editorial judgement you have Al"sense. "Free. Distributed Free. Period."
7th Aug '12 9:49:14 PM Jeeves
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* "THE TIT-LICKER!"

to:

* "THE TIT-LICKER!"TIT-LICKER!"
* Everyone trying to work out what to put in the paper about the small pox
-->Merrick "Vaccinations will be distributed gratis"
-->Al "Free gratis"
-->Merrick "Free gratis would be a redundancy"
-->Al "Then just put free!"
-->Merrick "What a keen editorial judgement you have Al"
21st Dec '11 8:35:48 AM NaramSin
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** "[[WhosOnFirst NOT WU, WHO,]] YOU IGNORANT FUCKING CHINK!"
** The scene after Al "promotes" Johnny to being a Road Agent. Al's talking to Dan about it, when Johnny comes down the stairs.

to:

** * "[[WhosOnFirst NOT WU, WHO,]] YOU IGNORANT FUCKING CHINK!"
** * The scene after Al "promotes" Johnny to being a Road Agent. Al's talking to Dan about it, when Johnny comes down the stairs.



* E.B. advising some new arrivals to "not look to your left as you egress," if they're religiously inclined, as Pete is doing a Pagan-like ritual with the antler Alma gave him.

to:

* E.B. advising some new arrivals to "not look to your left as you egress," if they're religiously inclined, as Pete is doing a Pagan-like ritual with the antler Alma gave him.him.
* "THE TIT-LICKER!"
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.Deadwood