History Funny / Cracked

29th Oct '17 5:31:27 PM 64SuperNintendo
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* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-6-most-terrifying-examples-rule-34 The 6 most Terrifying Examples of Rule 34]]. Aside from the possible NauseaFuel that these entries may provide, most of the naughty bits are covered up by Soren Bowie's face--that is, the image from his headshot (see above) whith the eye-fuck look he gives the camera.

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* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-6-most-terrifying-examples-rule-34 The 6 most Most Terrifying Examples of Rule 34]]. Aside from the possible NauseaFuel that these entries may provide, most of the naughty bits are covered up by Soren Bowie's face--that is, the image from his headshot (see above) whith the eye-fuck look he gives the camera.
23rd Oct '17 6:06:58 PM Gorank
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2. Other."

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2. Other.""\\
"Many legal tests for self-defense collapse around the twenty-fifth bicycle chain lash. And if you chase a penguin across an entire zoo screaming obscenities at it, 'That's not self defense at all,' many judges will claim, shaking their heads with a confused and hurt look on their faces. 'We don't have a crime for what you've done.'"
9th Sep '17 8:26:23 PM AriRockefeller
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* [[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/6-gross-thanksgiving-foods-your-grandparents-ate-we-tested_p2/ 6 Gross Foods from a 50's Cookbook (That We Taste Tested)]] is every bit as bad as it sounds, what with tastes evolving over the decades and some recipes...adjusting for the politics of the day (threats of nuclear annihilation would mean blander palates due to less food available, hence why ''gelatin'' was a key part of many dishes, etc.). But by the time he gets to the last entry, "Banana Meatloaf", it's clear the author's fragile little mind has shattered.

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* [[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/6-gross-thanksgiving-foods-your-grandparents-ate-we-tested_p2/ 6 Gross Foods from a 50's Cookbook (That We Taste Tested)]] is every bit as bad as it sounds, what with tastes evolving over the decades and some recipes...adjusting for the politics of the day (threats of nuclear annihilation would mean blander palates due to less food available, hence why ''gelatin'' was a key part of many dishes, etc.). But by the time he gets to the last entry, "Banana Meatloaf", it's clear the author's fragile little mind has shattered. And apparently he now serves the Great Old Ones.



''(Image of the work in progress)\\

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''(Image of the the...[[CordonBleughChef work in progress)\\progress]])''\\



* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_17123_the-5-most-retarded-wars-ever-fought.html/ The 5 Most Idiotic Wars Ever Fought]]

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* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_17123_the-5-most-retarded-wars-ever-fought.html/ The 5 Most Idiotic Wars Ever Fought]]Fought]]
* This top-ranked conversation thread in regards to [[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/6-gross-thanksgiving-foods-your-grandparents-ate-we-tested_p2/ 6 Gross Foods from a 50's Cookbook (That We Taste Tested)]]:
-->'''[=LegionOfShrooms=]''': Sooooo... I learned two things today. One, my grandparents generation was obsessed with the idea that gelatin works in any recipe ([[RealityEnsues it doesn't]]). Two, apparently most of them served the Old Ones, and they sought to spread madness and chaos through culinary fortitude [[TooSpicyForYogSothoth that would make the great Cthulhu's stomach turn]].\\
'''[=ZarroTsu=]''': It helped pass the time before TV and Internet.\\
'''Thunderous''': "Ph'nglui Mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl... Hey, is LittleOrphanAnnie on yet?" "Not for another hour and a half. Keep baking." "Shucks. Iä! Iä! Cthulhu Fhtagn!"\\
'''scrumb''': Marketing is a terrible thing. Aspics, savory gelatins with things suspended in them, have been around for centuries, and while probably not so suited to a modern palate (congealed broth mmmm....) are at least sensible combinations of flavors and foodstuffs. I might try a proper aspic out of curiosity, especially if it was one of the pretty ones (seriously google 'aspic' some of those things are really cool looking.) But as far as I can tell Jello came up with the concept of a jello salad, a sweet gelatin concoction, and took it as literally as possible. They put out all these recipes and poor unwitting housewives made them and continued to subject children and grandchildren to them long past the point when anyone was gullible enough to believe lime jello and pimentos might combine to make something tasty. \\
'''Zarester''': Ya got that right. [[NoodleIncident I gave the bologna loaf to Azathoth one August back in 1945. Guy actually turned lucid for a second. It... did not end well]].
9th Sep '17 8:19:19 PM AriRockefeller
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''(Montage of Jackie falling down said building)''\\







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* [[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/6-gross-thanksgiving-foods-your-grandparents-ate-we-tested_p2/ 6 Gross Foods from a 50's Cookbook (That We Taste Tested)]] is every bit as bad as it sounds, what with tastes evolving over the decades and some recipes...adjusting for the politics of the day (threats of nuclear annihilation would mean blander palates due to less food available, hence why ''gelatin'' was a key part of many dishes, etc.). But by the time he gets to the last entry, "Banana Meatloaf", it's clear the author's fragile little mind has shattered.
-->Here is a food equation. Can you eat a math? I will try.\\
''(Screenshot of the recipe from the book)''\\
Put meat in tin along with potassium tube. Extra K+ ions meet cow peptides for powerful good times. Lift many things with anti-starvation loaf. Use newfound strength to rebuild the food pyramid. Rebuild it in God's image. God is a laughing spider.\\
''(Image of the work in progress)\\
'''Caption''': [[AC:Atlach-Nacha ... I can hear you.]]\\
Put rectangle of nutritious farce -- [[ARareSentence sinew and starch are not geometry!]] -- in the machine that hates bacteria. [[MindScrew If this were a poem, it would be 40 minutes of screams. Have you ever met a banshee? A BANANA banshee?]] [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs Bananashee]]. [[ParanoiaFuel He howls for fiber. He lives in this loaf]].
28th Aug '17 8:50:38 AM Sniccups
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-->"[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Old man yells at]] [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII Cloud]]"

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-->"[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Old man yells at]] [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII Cloud]]"Cloud]]"
* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_17123_the-5-most-retarded-wars-ever-fought.html/ The 5 Most Idiotic Wars Ever Fought]]
27th Aug '17 10:06:52 PM GrammarNavi
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''(YouTube embed of Batman and the Joker [[https://youtu.be/w9M7Ll4jXrM going goddamn surfing]])''\\

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''(YouTube ''(Website/YouTube embed of Batman and the Joker [[https://youtu.be/w9M7Ll4jXrM going goddamn surfing]])''\\



* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20089_the-6-most-eerily-convincing-ghost-videos-youtube.html "The 6 Most Eerily Convincing Ghost Videos on Youtube"]] is an article full of freaky videos, especially the last one, which shows a demon composed of human hands. However, this comment serves as an extremely effective and hilarious form of NightmareRetardant:

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* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20089_the-6-most-eerily-convincing-ghost-videos-youtube.html "The 6 Most Eerily Convincing Ghost Videos on Youtube"]] [=YouTube=]"]] is an article full of freaky videos, especially the last one, which shows a demon composed of human hands. However, this comment serves as an extremely effective and hilarious form of NightmareRetardant:
21st Jul '17 11:26:36 AM Psyclone
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'''Seanbaby''': It's good to know that after the Earth collides into cosmic facial hair, it will only take two professional super heroes and a computer several minutes to figure out what's going on. Apache Chief and Superman are looking right at a picture of Earth in a beard and they're still puzzling their way through it.\\
'''Apache Chief''': Superman. [[FridgeHorror Earth's buildings are being demolished by pubic lice]]. There are trace amounts of soup in the atmosphere. My people do not grow hair of the facials, yet my Indian senses are warning me... this! May be a '''beard'''!"

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'''Seanbaby''': It's good to know that after the Earth collides into cosmic facial hair, it will only take two professional super heroes and a computer several minutes to figure out what's going on. Apache Chief and Superman are looking right at a picture of Earth in a beard and they're still puzzling their way through it.\\
'''Apache Chief''': Superman.
it.. "Superman. [[FridgeHorror Earth's buildings are being demolished by pubic lice]]. There are trace amounts of soup in the atmosphere. My people do not grow hair of the facials, yet my Indian senses are warning me... this! May be a '''beard'''!"
21st Jul '17 11:26:05 AM Psyclone
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'''Apache Chief''': '''[[CrazyAwesome INDIAN WRESTLING IN OUTER SPACE]]!!!'''\\

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'''Apache Chief''': '''[[CrazyAwesome INDIAN WRESTLING IN OUTER SPACE]]!!!'''\\SPACE]]!!!'''
**** And once again, the actual quote:
----->'''Superman''': [[CaptainObvious Our computers show that this is a giant strand of hair!]]\\
'''Apache Chief''': And that's what's blocking the sun's rays?\\
14th Jul '17 8:00:34 PM nombretomado
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* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/8-amazing-video-game-moments-that-happened-by-accident/ Eight videogame moments that happened completely by accident]] holds quite a few comedic gems, both in the article itself and in the commenters' own gaming stories. Highlights of the latter include [[WWESmackdown the incredible Hulk Hogan]], [[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIVOblivion the conga line of doom]] and [[VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft the kidnapping orc biker]].

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* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/8-amazing-video-game-moments-that-happened-by-accident/ Eight videogame moments that happened completely by accident]] holds quite a few comedic gems, both in the article itself and in the commenters' own gaming stories. Highlights of the latter include [[WWESmackdown [[Wrestling/WWESmackDown the incredible Hulk Hogan]], [[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIVOblivion the conga line of doom]] and [[VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft the kidnapping orc biker]].
7th Jul '17 3:20:36 PM AriRockefeller
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* [[http://www.cracked.com/pictofacts-732-26-ways-being-adult-isnt-what-you-thought-it-would-be/ Being an Adult Isn't What You Thought It Would Be]] is pretty morose due to the heavy-handed dose of RealityEnsues because GrowingUpSucks, but there's one entry that's hilariously [[BlackComedy bleak]]...
-->'''#10''': I can't wait to make a living playing music!" ... "How did ''an empty bar'' manage to yell 'FREEBIRD!' at me?!"
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