History Funny / Cracked

15th Jan '17 3:46:14 PM nombretomado
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** Also, one BrutalLegend player used the Bring It On Home solo ([[StuffBlowingUp which summons an explosive Zeppelin]]) for the first time... and his TV decides to spaz out and die in that instant. In the most epic way possible.

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** Also, one BrutalLegend ''VideoGame/BrutalLegend'' player used the Bring It On Home solo ([[StuffBlowingUp which summons an explosive Zeppelin]]) for the first time... and his TV decides to spaz out and die in that instant. In the most epic way possible.
13th Jan '17 9:38:29 AM AriRockefeller
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Added DiffLines:

* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/how-to-show-america-you-care-with-homemade-fireworks/ How to Show America You Care, with Homemade Fireworks.]] Seanbaby teaches everyone the joy of celebrating Independence Day by scuttling elaborate fireworks packages for their explosives and rubber-cementing them to a toy truck (with a Justin Timberlake effigy on it) and launching it into a stuffed (read: with fireworks) cat plush named Salsa.
-->''(The first image is a two-parter, with Seanbaby sitting amongst a pile of fireworks)''\\
'''Seanbaby''': Hi! Before we get started, let's look at some important safety tips!\\
''(The second part is him showing off the back of a fireworks display, and its safety "comic")''\\
'''Seanbaby''': [[RealityEnsues Flames and explosions hurt]], but not as much as knowing your kid is a pussy. Don't put your parents through that with firework safety, you selfish assholes.\\
'''Caption''': [[AC:Do not listen to this man.]]
6th Jan '17 2:53:58 PM StFan
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* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_23330_7-crazy-backstories-actors-secretly-made-up-famous-roles_p2.html 7 Famous Movie Roles (With Insane Secret Backstories)]] runs the gamut of emotions throughout, such as Robert Patrick's method of studying natural predators and the hunting native Americans for his roll as the T1000, to NathanLane's minor character's LifetimeOriginalMovie-esque backstory in ''Series/TheGoodWife'' (that's all in his head), but the MoodWhiplash in the #1 entry involves the campy 60s ''Batman'' series.

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* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_23330_7-crazy-backstories-actors-secretly-made-up-famous-roles_p2.html 7 Famous Movie Roles (With Insane Secret Backstories)]] runs the gamut of emotions throughout, such as Robert Patrick's method of studying natural predators and the hunting native Americans for his roll as the T1000, to NathanLane's Creator/NathanLane's minor character's LifetimeOriginalMovie-esque backstory in ''Series/TheGoodWife'' (that's all in his head), but the MoodWhiplash in the #1 entry involves the campy 60s ''Batman'' series.
5th Jan '17 11:29:44 AM AriRockefeller
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'''Apache Chief''': '''[[CrazyAwesome INDIAN WRESTLING IN OUTER SPACE]]!!!'''

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'''Apache Chief''': '''[[CrazyAwesome INDIAN WRESTLING IN OUTER SPACE]]!!!'''SPACE]]!!!'''\\
'''Seanbaby''': It's good to know that after the Earth collides into cosmic facial hair, it will only take two professional super heroes and a computer several minutes to figure out what's going on. Apache Chief and Superman are looking right at a picture of Earth in a beard and they're still puzzling their way through it.\\
'''Apache Chief''': Superman. [[FridgeHorror Earth's buildings are being demolished by pubic lice]]. There are trace amounts of soup in the atmosphere. My people do not grow hair of the facials, yet my Indian senses are warning me... this! May be a '''beard'''!"
5th Jan '17 11:23:29 AM AriRockefeller
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'''Someone from the inside of a small box''': ''[----FUCK YOU!----]''

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'''Someone from the inside the shrunken down Hall of a small box''': Justice''': ''[----FUCK YOU!----]''
4th Jan '17 9:04:19 PM TVRulezAgain
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* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/exploring-the-mysteries-of-the-mind-with-the-sims-3/ Exploring the Mysteries of the Mind With Sims 3.]] Basically, Seanbaby creates a nightmarish world for one fat, hydrophobic Sim and watches as madness slowly takes over. What really kills it is the final experiment:

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* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/exploring-the-mysteries-of-the-mind-with-the-sims-3/ Exploring the Mysteries of the Mind With Sims 3.]] Basically, Seanbaby creates a nightmarish world for one fat, hydrophobic Sim and watches as madness slowly takes over. What really kills it is the final experiment:



* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19088_6-brilliant-inventions-that-look-like-gag-gifts.html 6 Brilliant Inventions That Look Like Gag Gifts]]. The first item on the list is Powdered Water. The author mentions a classic joke email about DumbBlonde Inventions, that features things like "solar-powered flashlight," "pedal-powered wheel chair" and, of course, "powdered water". But after the entry explains that powdered water, or rather "dry water", is a really useful thing, the author remarks "So we guess we should go looking for a pedal-powered wheelchair now?". Guess what's the next item on the list.

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* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19088_6-brilliant-inventions-that-look-like-gag-gifts.html 6 Brilliant Inventions That Look Like Gag Gifts]]. The first item on the list is Powdered Water. The author mentions a classic joke email about DumbBlonde Inventions, that features things like "solar-powered flashlight," "pedal-powered wheel chair" and, of course, and "powdered water". But after the entry explains that powdered water, or rather "dry water", is a really useful thing, the author remarks "So we guess we should go looking for a pedal-powered wheelchair now?". Guess what's the next item on the list.



* The Robert Brockway article "5 Terrifying Things Movies Don't Tell You About Los Angeles", which is basically about how much Los Angeles sucks, includes a brief section on how jobs require you to have pretty headshots even when you're not going to be seen by the customers and Brockway posts a few of said headshots of his coworkers. Now, [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-terrifying-things-movies-dont-tell-you-about-los-angeles_p2/ roughly half the comments are about how attractive Soren Bowie is]] , with many people apparently forgetting about the entire rest of the article.

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* The Robert Brockway article "5 Terrifying Things Movies Don't Tell You About Los Angeles", which is basically about how much Los Angeles sucks, includes a brief section on how jobs require you to have pretty headshots even when you're not going to be seen by the customers and Brockway posts a few of said headshots of his coworkers. Now, [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-terrifying-things-movies-dont-tell-you-about-los-angeles_p2/ roughly half the comments are about how attractive Soren Bowie is]] , with many people apparently forgetting about the entire rest of the article.



*** Take note of the at least partially deranged look on Robert Brockway's face in the "defensive cell phone pic [his] wife snapped after she came home from shopping and realized she forgot the Jameson."

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*** Take note of the The at least partially deranged look on Robert Brockway's face in the "defensive cell phone pic [his] wife snapped after she came home from shopping and realized she forgot the Jameson."



** Hell, the [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer actual quotes from the episodes]] are ridiculous:

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** Hell, the The [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer actual quotes from the episodes]] are ridiculous:



** Not to mention this... disturbingly logical extrapolation from the failure of the latest Bat-gadget:

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** Not to mention this...This... disturbingly logical extrapolation from the failure of the latest Bat-gadget:



* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19637_the-5-craziest-war-stories-all-happened-same-ship.html The 5 Craziest War Stories (All Happened on the Same Ship)]]. The entire thing, but ''especially'' #4 and #3.

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* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19637_the-5-craziest-war-stories-all-happened-same-ship.html The 5 Craziest War Stories (All Happened on the Same Ship)]]. The entire thing, but ''especially'' ''Especially'' #4 and #3.



* [[http://www.cracked.com/funny-90-world-war-2/ The caption for Lesson # 3 in Cracked Topics: World War 2]]: "We don't know what's worse, if this is our propaganda, or ''yours''." Note that the image is of a giant samurai with Imperial Japanese and Nazi German flags behind him killing everything on the ocean with a katana while the smoke of burning ships rise beneath his feet.

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* [[http://www.cracked.com/funny-90-world-war-2/ The caption for Lesson # 3 in Cracked Topics: World War 2]]: "We don't know what's worse, if this is our propaganda, or ''yours''." Note that the The image is of a giant samurai with Imperial Japanese and Nazi German flags behind him killing everything on the ocean with a katana while the smoke of burning ships rise beneath his feet.



* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_16954_5-reasons-megatron-should-have-fired-starscream-years-ago.html Five Reasons Megatron Should Have Fired Starscream Years Ago]]. Keep in mind that all five reasons happen within the first fifteen minutes of ''the first episode''.

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* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_16954_5-reasons-megatron-should-have-fired-starscream-years-ago.html Five Reasons Megatron Should Have Fired Starscream Years Ago]]. Keep in mind that all All five reasons happen within the first fifteen minutes of ''the first episode''.



* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/if-time-travel-stories-were-way-manlier/ If Time Machines Were Built by Real Men]]. Seanbaby marks his return by showing us the world of [[AwesomeMcCoolName Rip Hunter... TIME MASTER]]. In an effort to avert a LameComeback to GeorgeWashington, Rip repeatedly goes back to avert his mistakes...[[spoiler:and ends up breaking time and reality as we know it]].

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* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/if-time-travel-stories-were-way-manlier/ If Time Machines Were Built by Real Men]]. Seanbaby marks his return by showing us the world of [[AwesomeMcCoolName Rip Hunter... TIME MASTER]]. In an effort to avert a LameComeback to GeorgeWashington, UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington, Rip repeatedly goes back to avert his mistakes...[[spoiler:and ends up breaking time and reality as we know it]].



* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20089_the-6-most-eerily-convincing-ghost-videos-youtube.html "The 6 Most Eerily Convincing Ghost Videos on Youtube"]] is an article full of freaky videos, especially the last one, which shows a demon composed entirely of human hands. However, this comment serves as an extremely effective and hilarious form of NightmareRetardant:

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* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20089_the-6-most-eerily-convincing-ghost-videos-youtube.html "The 6 Most Eerily Convincing Ghost Videos on Youtube"]] is an article full of freaky videos, especially the last one, which shows a demon composed entirely of human hands. However, this comment serves as an extremely effective and hilarious form of NightmareRetardant:
12th Dec '16 10:27:14 AM AriRockefeller
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* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19698_7-deadly-things-you-wont-believe-most-people-survive.html 7 Deadly Things You Won't Believe Most People Survive]] tells us about how the human body is seemingly MadeOfIron, and the circumstances of surviving things like [[OnlyAFleshWound gunshots]], stabbings, even plane crashes. In the middle of the stabbings (in this case, to the heart) entry, is a picture of two men in suits, one stabbing the other with a short sword...
-->'''Caption''': ''[[AC:Quick, [[PreMortemOneLiner think of something before he dies]]]]'' -- [[AC:"You've been '''businessed'''."]] [[AC:''[[FailedAttemptAtDrama Goddamnit]].]]''
10th Dec '16 4:33:31 PM Shoebox
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* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/exploring-the-mysteries-of-the-mind-with-the-sims-3/ Exploring the Mysteries of the Mind With Sims 3.]]
Basically, Seanbaby creates a nightmarish world for one fat, hydrophobic Sim and watches as madness slowly takes over. What really kills it is the final experiment:

to:

* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/exploring-the-mysteries-of-the-mind-with-the-sims-3/ Exploring the Mysteries of the Mind With Sims 3.]]
]] Basically, Seanbaby creates a nightmarish world for one fat, hydrophobic Sim and watches as madness slowly takes over. What really kills it is the final experiment:
10th Dec '16 11:11:48 AM AriRockefeller
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(It's highly recommended that you also read the comments on the articles, sorting by "votes" rather than the default "recent".
They got a goldmine of humor down there.)



* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/exploring-the-mysteries-of-the-mind-with-the-sims-3/ Exploring the Mysteries of the Mind With Sims 3.]] Basically, Seanbaby creates a nightmarish world for one fat, hydrophobic Sim and watches as madness slowly takes over. What really kills it is the final experiment:

to:

* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/exploring-the-mysteries-of-the-mind-with-the-sims-3/ Exploring the Mysteries of the Mind With Sims 3.]] ]]
Basically, Seanbaby creates a nightmarish world for one fat, hydrophobic Sim and watches as madness slowly takes over. What really kills it is the final experiment:



* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21592_the-5-goofiest-pranks-ever-pulled-in-middle-wars_p1.html The 5 goofiest pranks ever pulled in the middle of wars]]. Special mention goes to the invisible motorcycle!

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* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21592_the-5-goofiest-pranks-ever-pulled-in-middle-wars_p1.html The 5 goofiest pranks ever pulled in the middle of wars]]. Special mention goes to the invisible motorcycle!
motorcycle! And before that, [[ARareSentence the man who taught a toilet how to fly]]!




to:

(It's highly recommended that you also read the comments on the articles, sorting by "votes" rather than the default "recent".
They got a goldmine of humor down there.)
9th Dec '16 10:20:49 AM AriRockefeller
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Added DiffLines:

* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-beloved-superheroes-who-are-actually-really-stupid/ 5 Beloved Superheroes who are Actually Really Stupid]]. Thor's...''unfamiliarity'' with Earth is rife for humor. Like in the first screencap taken from the Avengers movie, where [[LetsYouAndHimFight Thor fights Cap]]...
-->'''Captain America''': Wait wait shit! I know you're upset, but this will '''''probably kill me!'''''\\
'''Thor''': '''''FUUUUCK! THEEE!!!'''''
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