History Funny / Cracked

18th Jun '16 12:04:05 AM Zadia
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-->'''Nick Fury:''' "[[ShutUpHannibal You sit your black ass down]] [[ActorAllusion Mufasa,]] I don't recall asking for your opinion!"

to:

-->'''Nick Fury:''' "[[ShutUpHannibal You sit your black ass down]] [[ActorAllusion Mufasa,]] I don't recall asking for your opinion!"opinion!"
* From [[http://www.cracked.com/article_24146_6-disasters-with-details-so-awful-history-left-them-out_p2.html 6 Disasters With Details So Awful, History Left Them Out]]:
-->'''Sickbastard''': Geezus! All week on Cracked it's been Rape, murder, North Korea, assholes, and historical tragedies. I need a drink and some puppies!
-->'''Archaeology Dalek''': We've also got an article about Kanye West tomorrow.
-->'''Sickbastard''': Oh God, the fucking cherry on top!
27th Apr '16 12:56:36 AM erforce
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* [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_1708_35-famous-lines-that-fit-perfectly-in-other-movies 35 Famous Movie Scenes Improved With Lines From Other Films]] gives us "[[Film/TheBigLebowski Well that's, like,]] your ''opinion'', man" said by [[spoiler:[[FullMetalJacket Private "Pyle" to Gunnery Sergeant Hartmann]]]] and [[spoiler:Film/TheIronGiant's]] final moments improved with '''[[Film/MadMaxFuryRoad "WITNESS ME!"]]'''

to:

* [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_1708_35-famous-lines-that-fit-perfectly-in-other-movies 35 Famous Movie Scenes Improved With Lines From Other Films]] gives us "[[Film/TheBigLebowski Well that's, like,]] your ''opinion'', man" said by [[spoiler:[[FullMetalJacket [[spoiler:[[Film/FullMetalJacket Private "Pyle" to Gunnery Sergeant Hartmann]]]] and [[spoiler:Film/TheIronGiant's]] final moments improved with '''[[Film/MadMaxFuryRoad "WITNESS ME!"]]'''
24th Apr '16 7:48:24 AM DoctorSleep
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--> "All I have to say is that, as a black man, I have no desire to watch [[Film/FantasticFour2015 a movie]] about a black guy who's always on fire."

to:

--> "All I have to say is that, as a black man, I have no desire to watch [[Film/FantasticFour2015 a movie]] about a black guy who's always on fire.""
* From [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-tough-questions-movies-didnt-have-balls-to-answer/ 4 Great Questions Raised By Movies Too Dumb To Answer Them]], courtesy of Tugaguyd and [=MaoTseFunk=]:
-->'''Villain:''' "You're not brave enough to do what's necessary!"
-->'''Nick Fury:''' "No. I'm brave enough not to do it."

-->'''Villain:''' "...you're brave enough not to do 'what's necessary'?... That doesn't make much sense man'"
-->'''Nick Fury:''' "You...I....Just stop with your space-nazi crap. [[InsaneTrollLogic You know what profound s**t I'm getting at here]]"
-->'''Villain:''' "I don't know, in a way [[StrawmanHasAPoint the monopoly of violence is an essential element to state-craft.]] This is merely an advanced form of it. Your notion of freedom from tyranny paradoxically requires a universal suppression of freedom by a centralized authority"
-->'''Darth Vader:''' "That's what I've been trying to get at, man! *exhale*"
-->'''Nick Fury:''' "[[ShutUpHannibal You sit your black ass down]] [[ActorAllusion Mufasa,]] I don't recall asking for your opinion!"
15th Mar '16 6:55:12 AM DoctorSleep
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--> ''There is a brilliant documentary by Herzog called My Best Fiend, about him and Kinski. The generally [sic] tone and theme is that they were an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object. Or, [[Creator/KlausKinski some bizarre monster made out of pure narcissism, hate and cruelty]] meeting a [[Creator/WernerHerzog man who didn't give and never has given a single slice of his artfully crafted fucks]].''

to:

--> ''There is a brilliant documentary by Herzog called My Best Fiend, about him and Kinski. The generally [sic] tone and theme is that they were an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object. Or, [[Creator/KlausKinski some bizarre monster made out of pure narcissism, hate and cruelty]] meeting a [[Creator/WernerHerzog man who didn't give and never has given a single slice of his artfully crafted fucks]].''''
* This response to [[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/the-5-most-insulting-defenses-nerd-racism/ The 5 Most Insulting Defenses of Nerd Racism]]:
--> "All I have to say is that, as a black man, I have no desire to watch [[Film/FantasticFour2015 a movie]] about a black guy who's always on fire."
3rd Mar '16 11:52:30 AM BobSaget9
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* "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-best-order-to-watch-star-wars-movies/ The Best Order to Watch the Star Wars Movies]]", which sees Luis Prada attempt to come up with his own method which would be better than the "Machete Order"[[note]]watch in this order: ''Film/ANewHope, Film/AttackOfTheClones, Film/TheEmpireStrikesBack, Film/RevengeOfTheSith, Film/ReturnOfTheJedi''; disregard ''Film/ThePhantomMenace''[[/note]]. Special mention goes to #2: [[spoiler:"'''Film/AttackOfTheClones''' [[NoKillLikeOverkill Six Times]]"]].

to:

* "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-best-order-to-watch-star-wars-movies/ The Best Order to Watch the Star Wars Movies]]", which sees Luis Prada attempt to come up with his own method which would be better than the "Machete Order"[[note]]watch in this order: ''Film/ANewHope, Film/AttackOfTheClones, Film/TheEmpireStrikesBack, Film/AttackOfTheClones, Film/RevengeOfTheSith, Film/ReturnOfTheJedi''; disregard ''Film/ThePhantomMenace''[[/note]]. Special mention goes to #2: [[spoiler:"'''Film/AttackOfTheClones''' [[NoKillLikeOverkill Six Times]]"]].
23rd Feb '16 8:30:51 AM AriRockefeller
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* "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-best-order-to-watch-star-wars-movies/ The Best Order to Watch the Star Wars Movies]]", which sees Luis Prada attempt to come up with his own method which would be better than the "Machete Order"[[note]]watch the prequels after Film/TheEmpireStrikesBack and before Film/ReturnOfTheJedi[[/note]]. Special mention goes to #2: [[spoiler:"'''Film/AttackOfTheClones''' [[NoKillLikeOverkill Six Times]]"]].

to:

* "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-best-order-to-watch-star-wars-movies/ The Best Order to Watch the Star Wars Movies]]", which sees Luis Prada attempt to come up with his own method which would be better than the "Machete Order"[[note]]watch the prequels after Film/TheEmpireStrikesBack and before Film/ReturnOfTheJedi[[/note]].in this order: ''Film/ANewHope, Film/AttackOfTheClones, Film/TheEmpireStrikesBack, Film/RevengeOfTheSith, Film/ReturnOfTheJedi''; disregard ''Film/ThePhantomMenace''[[/note]]. Special mention goes to #2: [[spoiler:"'''Film/AttackOfTheClones''' [[NoKillLikeOverkill Six Times]]"]].
22nd Feb '16 8:52:53 AM BugsFan17
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** [[CatchPhrase ''NONE'']] [[NothingIsScarier ''OF YOU'']] [[RightBehindYou ''ARE SAFE'']].

to:

** [[CatchPhrase ''NONE'']] [[NothingIsScarier ''OF YOU'']] [[RightBehindYou ''ARE SAFE'']].''[[CatchPhrase NONE]]'' ''[[NothingIsScarier OF YOU]]'' ''[[RightBehindYou ARE SAFE]]''.
22nd Feb '16 8:51:38 AM BugsFan17
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** [[CatchPhrase''NONE'']] [[NothingIsScarier ''OF YOU'']] [[RightBehindYou ''ARE SAFE'']].

to:

** [[CatchPhrase''NONE'']] [[CatchPhrase ''NONE'']] [[NothingIsScarier ''OF YOU'']] [[RightBehindYou ''ARE SAFE'']].
22nd Feb '16 8:51:10 AM BugsFan17
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Added DiffLines:

** [[CatchPhrase''NONE'']] [[NothingIsScarier ''OF YOU'']] [[RightBehindYou ''ARE SAFE'']].
20th Feb '16 8:03:50 AM AriRockefeller
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'''[[spoiler:Popsicle Pete]]]''': '''REALITY. SUCH GAMES YOU CREATURES PLAY WITH WORDS.'''

to:

'''[[spoiler:Popsicle Pete]]]''': Pete]]''': '''REALITY. SUCH GAMES YOU CREATURES PLAY WITH WORDS.'''
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