History Funny / ConfusedMatthew

* In his original review of ''WesternAnimation/TheLionKing'', he stAtes that Timon and Pumbaa teach Simba "Hakuna Matata, which loosely translated means "fuck it"".

--> '''Matthew:''' ''(On the opening of the film)'' What's the Trade Federation? Are they part of the Republic? What's Naboo? Is it part of the Republic? And if the answer to both these questions is ''Yes'', then why is the Republic trading with itself? How is it beneficial for the Republic to cut off trade with itself? Why does a Republic have a queen in it? And once more, what are the consequences if the trade routes are blocked off to Naboo, what are Jedi negotiating about, and what are the consequences if the negotiations fail? Also, the Jedi are part of the Republic, so if the answers to my first two questions is ''Yes'', then the Republic has sent the Republic to negotiate with the Republic about lifting trade sanctions on the Republic! This is the equivalent of a guy standing alone in a room saying 'shut up', 'no, you shut up', 'You shuddup', 'No, you shuddup'.

* Everything he says about Timon & Pumbaa in his ''Disney/TheLionKingIISimbasPride'' review.

* Star Wars: The Phantom Menace

* [=ConfusedMatthew=]'s reaction to Anakin's Line "Captain Rex will show you how a little respect will go a long way." in his review of the Star Wars Clone Wars movie: first a "shocked" drawing switches to an annoyed drawing complete with Godzilla roar, then CM proceeds to show most of the instances in the Prequel Trilogy where Anakin whines or blames everyone else for his troubles. He then concludes that this character cannot be Anakin Skywalker, so he dubs him "Woodstump" for the rest of the review.

* Everything he says about Timon & Pumbaa in his ''Disney/TheLionKing II: Simba's Pride'' review.

-->'''Matthew:''' "Smaug? [[ShutUpHannibal You are bullshit]]. You couldn't kill a room full of dwarves when one of them was standing on your motherfucking mouth."

--> '''Matthew:''' ''(On the super secret Gungan city)'' When we finally see this thing: first of all, it's about the size of Delaware, and second of all, it's brighter than the Sun. And considering all three of them were able to swim there without dying of exhaustion or crushed under the water pressure, it's obviously not that deep, which means at nightfall, the surface of the water is going to be lit up brighter than Vegas. They may as well have hung a neon sign over the water that says "This way to the secret Gungan city".

* In Film/TheHungerGames General Review, the Janelle rant. Especially if you've heard his asshole rants.

* In TheHobbitTheDesolationOfSmaug review Matthew is utterly dissappointed by Smaug's performance and calls him out on his BadassBoast:

* The RunningGag BrokenRecord description of the [[LeaveTheCameraRunning absurdly long shots]] on ''Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey'' ("Landscape", "They are going to The Moon", etc), complete with him telling the audience that he will stop when the film stops, to punctuate how annoying these shots are to him. He repeats this RunningGag on his review of ''Film/NoCountryForOldMen''.

* His fear of Creator/HarlanEllison in his ''Film/Terminator2JudgementDay'' epilogue.

* The RunningGag BrokenRecord description of the [[LeaveTheCameraRunning absurdly long shots]] on ''Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey'' ("Landscape", "They are going to The Moon", etc), complete with him telling the audience that he will stop when the film stops, to punctuate how annoying these shots are to him. He repeats this RunningGag on his review of ''Film/NoCountryForOldMen''.

** The rejected nicknames for Anakin Skywalker: "older Simba" and [[StarTrekVoyager Chakotay]]

* His reaction in ''{{Knowing}}'' when Cage's character says the caves won't save them, contradicting what he (Cage) said earlier:

* His fear of Creator/HarlanEllison in his ''[[Film/{{Terminator}} Terminator 2: Judgement Day]]'' epilogue.
* His imagined scenario for ''Film/{{Saw}}'' if Jigsaw's prisoners were based on real life people:

* In TheHobbitTheDesolationOfSmaug review Matthew is utterly dissappointed by Smaug's performance and calls him out on his BadassBoast:
-->'''Smaug:''' "I. Am. Fire. I. Am. '''Death'''."
-->'''Matthew:''' "Smaug? [[ShutUpHannibal You are bullshit]]. You couldn't kill a room full of dwarves when one of them was standing on your motherfucking mouth."

* His review of ''Film/TwoThousandTenTheYearWeMakeContact'' had him referencing back his review of ''Main/TwoThousandAndOneASpaceOdyssey'' and his anger at the many scenes [[LeaveTheCameraRunning where there was nothing but very long shots of landscape]], and [[FlatCharacter characters with no arc]] so he expects the same from this film. Cue the first scene with Heywood Floyd (Roy Scheider) and Dimitri Moiseievich (Dana Elcar) talking about personal details (like Dimitri having asthma), some small talk about the state of the world (the still-running UsefulNotes/ColdWar of the setting apparently about to run hot) and an informal debriefing of the ''Discovery'''s mission (which apparent failure Floyd was turned into the FallGuy of and got him kicked out of NASA, turning the mission into his personal MyGreatestSecondChance). Again, this happens in the ''very first scene'', and this actually ''stuns Matthew into silence for a moment''.

* The RunningGag BrokenRecord description of the [[LeaveTheCameraRunning absurdly long shots]] on ''Main/TwoThousandAndOneASpaceOdyssey'' ("Landscape", "They are going to The Moon", etc), complete with him telling the audience that he will stop when the film stops, to punctuate how annoying these shots are to him. He repeats this RunningGag on his review of ''Film/NoCountryForOldMen''.

* His review of ''Film/TwoThousandTenTheYearWeMakeContact'' had him referencing back his review of ''Main/TwoThousandAndOneASpaceOdyssey'' and his anger at the many scenes [[LeaveTheCameraRunning where there was nothing but very long shots of landscape]], and [[FlatCharacter characters with no arc]] so he expects the same from this film. Cue the first scene with Heywood Floyd (Roy Scheider) and Dimitri Moiseievich (Dana Elcar) talking about personal details (like Dimitri having asthma), some small talk about the state of the world (the still-running ColdWar of the setting apparently about to run hot) and an informal debriefing of the ''Discovery'''s mission (which apparent failure Floyd was turned into the FallGuy of and got him kicked out of NASA, turning the mission into his personal MyGreatestSecondChance). Again, this happens in the ''very first scene'', and this actually ''stuns Matthew into silence for a moment''.

--> '''Matthew:''' [[LargeHam INFORMATION!!! GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS INFORMATION!!!]]

* His confusion at the "exploration" rocket ship bringing tremendous firepower (such as grenades, gas and ''a bazooka''-which actually makes him do a DoubleTake) to a rescue mission in the review of ''It! The Terror From Beyond Space''. Also the RunningGag regarding the actor playing the monster being TheAlcoholic (which he was).

* His review of ''Film/TwoThousandTenTheYearWeMakeContact'' had him referencing back his review of ''Main/TwoThousandAndOneASpaceOdyssey'' and his anger at the many scenes [[LeaveTheCameraRunning where there was nothing but very long shots of landscape]], and [[FlatCharacter characters with no arc]] so he expects the same from this film. Cue the first scene with Heywood Floyd (RoyScheider) and Dimitri Moiseievich (Dana Elcar) talking about personal details (like Dimitri having asthma), some small talk about the state of the world (the still-running ColdWar of the setting apparently about to run hot) and an informal debriefing of the ''Discovery'''s mission (which apparent failure Floyd was turned into the FallGuy of and got him kicked out of NASA, turning the mission into his personal MyGreatestSecondChance). Again, this happens in the ''very first scene'', and this actually ''stuns Matthew into silence for a moment''.

* His confusion at the "exploration" rocket ship bringing tremendous firepower (such as grenades, gas and ''a bazooka''-which actually makes him do a DoubleTake) to a rescue mission in the review of ''It! The Terror From Beyond Space''. Also the RunningGag regarding the actor playing the monster being TheAlcoholic.

* His review of ''Film/TwoThousandTenTheYearWeMakeContact'' had him referencing back his review of ''Main/TwoThousandAndOneASpaceOdyssey'' and his anger at the many scenes [[LeaveTheCameraRunning where there was nothing but very long shots of landscape]], and [[FlatCharacter characters with no arc]] so he expects the same from this film. Cue the first scene with Heywood Floyd (Ron Scheider) and Dimitri Moiseievich (Dana Elcar) talking about personal details (like Dimitri having asthma), some small talk about the state of the world (the still-running ColdWar of the setting apparently about to run hot) and an informal debriefing of the ''Discovery'''s mission (which apparent failure Floyd was turned into the FallGuy of and got him kicked out of NASA, turning the mission into his personal MyGreatestSecondChance). Again, this happens in the ''very first scene'', and this actually ''stuns Matthew into silence for a moment''.

* The RunningGag BrokenRecord description of the [[LeaveTheCameraRunning absurdly long shots]] on ''Main/TwoThousandAndOneASpaceOdyssey'' ("Landscape", "They are going to The Moon", etc), complete with him telling the audience that he will stop when the film stops, to punctuate how annoying these shots are to him. He repeats this RunningGag on his review of ''Film/NoCountryForOldMen''.

* His review of ''Film/TwoThousandTenTheYearWeMakeContact' had him referencing back his review of ''Main/TwoThousandAndOneASpaceOdyssey'' and his anger at the many scenes [[LeaveTheCameraRunning where there was nothing but very long shots of landscape]], and [[FlatCharacter characters with no arc]] so he expects the same from this film. Cue the first scene with Heywood Floyd (Ron Scheider) and Dimitri Moiseievich (Dana Elcar) talking about personal details (like Dimitri having asthma), some small talk about the state of the world (the still-running ColdWar of the setting apparently about to run hot) and an informal debriefing of the ''Discovery'''s mission (which apparent failure Floyd was turned into the FallGuy of and got him kicked out of NASA, turning the mission into his personal MyGreatestSecondChance). Again, this happens in the ''very first scene'', and this actually ''stuns Matthew into silence for a moment''.

* His review of ''Film/TwoThousandAndTenTheYearWeMadeContact'' had him referencing back his review of ''Main/TwoThousandAndOneASpaceOdyssey'' and his anger at the many scenes [[LeaveTheCameraRunning where there was nothing but very long shots of landscape]], and [[FlatCharacter characters with no arc]] so he expects the same from this film. Cue the first scene with Heywood Floyd (Ron Scheider) and Dimitri Moiseievich (Dana Elcar) talking about personal details (like Dimitri having asthma), some small talk about the state of the world (the still-running ColdWar of the setting apparently about to run hot) and an informal debriefing of the ''Discovery'''s mission (which apparent failure Floyd was turned into the FallGuy of and got him kicked out of NASA, turning the mission into his personal MyGreatestSecondChance). Again, this happens in the ''very first scene'', and this actually ''stuns Matthew into silence for a moment''.

* His review of ''Film/TwoThousandAndTenTheYearWeMakeContact'' had him referencing back his review of ''Film/TwoThousandAndOneASpaceOdyssey'' and his anger at the many scenes [[LeaveTheCameraRunning where there was nothing but very long shots of landscape]], and [[FlatCharacter characters with no arc]] so he expects the same from this film. Cue the first scene with Heywood Floyd (Ron Scheider) and Dimitri Moiseievich (Dana Elcar) talking about personal details (like Dimitri having asthma), some small talk about the state of the world (the still-running ColdWar of the setting apparently about to run hot) and an informal debriefing of the ''Discovery'''s mission (which apparent failure Floyd was turned into the FallGuy of and got him kicked out of NASA, turning the mission into his personal MyGreatestSecondChance). Again, this happens in the ''very first scene'', and this actually ''stuns Matthew into silence for a moment''.

* The RunningGag BrokenRecord description of the [[LeaveTheCameraRunning absurdly long shots]] on ''Film/TwoThousandAndOneASpaceOdyssey'' ("Landscape", "They are going to The Moon", etc), complete with him telling the audience that he will stop when the film stops, to punctuate how annoying these shots are to him. He repeats this RunningGag on his review of ''Film/NoCountryForOldMen''.

* His review of ''Film/TwoThousandAndTenTheYearWeMadeContact'' had him referencing back his review of ''Film/TwoThousandAndOneASpaceOdyssey'' and his anger at the many scenes [[LeaveTheCameraRunning where there was nothing but very long shots of landscape]], and [[FlatCharacter characters with no arc]] so he expects the same from this film. Cue the first scene with Heywood Floyd (Ron Scheider) and (Dana Elcar) talking about personal details (like having asthma), some small talk about the state of the world (the still-running ColdWar of the setting apparently about to run hot) and an informal debriefing of the ''Discovery'''s mission (which apparent failure Floyd was turned into the FallGuy of and kicked out of NASA, turning the mission into his personal MyGreatestSecondChance). Again, this happens in the ''very first scene'', and this actually ''stuns Matthew into silence for a moment''.

* His review of ''Film/2010TheYearWeMadeContact'' had him referencing back his review of ''Film/2001ASpaceOdyssey'' and his anger at the many scenes [[LeaveTheCameraRunning where there was nothing but very long shots of landscape]], and [[FlatCharacter characters with no arc]] so he expects the same from this film. Cue the first scene with Heywood Floyd (Ron Scheider) and (Dana Elcar) talking about personal details (like having asthma), some small talk about the state of the world (the still-running ColdWar of the setting apparently about to run hot) and an informal debriefing of the ''Discovery'''s mission (which apparent failure Floyd was turned into the FallGuy of and kicked out of NASA, turning the mission into his personal MyGreatestSecondChance). Again, this happens in the ''very first scene'', and this actually ''stuns Matthew into silence for a moment''.

* The RunningGag BrokenRecord description of the [[LeaveTheCameraRunning absurdly long shots]] on ''Film/2001ASpaceOdyssey'' ("Landscape", "They are going to The Moon", etc), complete with him telling the audience that he will stop when the film stops, to punctuate how annoying these shots are to him. He repeats this RunningGag on his review of ''Film/NoCountryForOldMen''.

* His review of ''Film/2010TheYearWeMakeContact'' had him referencing back his review of ''Film:2001ASpaceOdyssey'' and his anger at the many scenes [[LeaveTheCameraRunning where there was nothing but very long shots of landscape]], and [[FlatCharacter characters with no arc]] so he expects the same from this film. Cue the first scene with Heywood Floyd (Ron Scheider) and (Dana Elcar) talking about personal details (like having asthma), some small talk about the state of the world (the still-running ColdWar of the setting apparently about to run hot) and an informal debriefing of the ''Discovery'''s mission (which apparent failure Floyd was turned into the FallGuy of and kicked out of NASA, turning the mission into his personal MyGreatestSecondChance). Again, this happens in the ''very first scene'', and this actually ''stuns Matthew into silence for a moment''.

* His review of ''Film/2010TheYearWeMakeContact'' had him referencing back his review of ''Film:2001ASpaceOdyssey'' and his anger at the many scenes ''LeftTheCameraRunning where there was nothing but long shots of landscape'', and [[FlatCharacter characters with no arc]] so he expects the same from this film. Cue the first scene with Heywood Floyd (Ron Scheider) and (Dana Elcar) talking about personal details (like having asthma), some small talk about the state of the world (the still-running ColdWar of the setting apparently about to run hot) and an informal debriefing of the ''Discovery'''s mission (which apparent failure Floyd was turned into the FallGuy of and kicked out of NASA, turning the mission into his personal MyGreatestSecondChance). Again, this happens in the ''very first scene'', and this actually ''stuns Matthew into silence''.

* The RunningGag BrokenRecord description of the [[LeftTheCameraRunning absurdly long shots]] on ''Film/2001ASpaceOdyssey'' ("Landscape", "They are going to The Moon", etc), complete with him telling the audience that he will stop when the film stops, to punctuate how annoying these shots are to him. He repeats this RunningGag on his review of ''Film/NoCountryForOldMen''.