History Funny / CompanyOfHeroes

29th Mar '17 7:44:07 PM nombretomado
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-->WE SHOULD ALL HAVE STURMGEWEHRS!! Er, '''[[MemeticMutation YOU GET A STURMGEWEHR, YOU GET A STURMGEWEHR,]] ''[[OprahWinfrey EVERYONE GETS STURMGEWEHRS!!!]]'''''

to:

-->WE SHOULD ALL HAVE STURMGEWEHRS!! Er, '''[[MemeticMutation YOU GET A STURMGEWEHR, YOU GET A STURMGEWEHR,]] ''[[OprahWinfrey ''[[Series/TheOprahWinfreyShow EVERYONE GETS STURMGEWEHRS!!!]]'''''
29th Dec '16 6:42:18 AM TypeProton
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Gunner! [[TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou Point the turret up at that camera in the sky!]]\\

to:

Gunner! -->Gunner! [[TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou Point the turret up at that camera in the sky!]]\\



AIRBORNE! Wanna go blow up HQ!?\\

to:

AIRBORNE! -->AIRBORNE! Wanna go blow up HQ!?\\
10th Dec '16 5:03:27 PM BlackSunNocturne
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--> [[SeriousBusiness WAR is a SERIOUS matter!!]] '''[[PrecisionFStrike FUCK]]''' [[StopHavingFunGuys YOU!!!]]
--> Yes sir, ''yes'' sir, ''YES'' sir, '''FUCK OFF, SIR!!!'''
--> Clickety-click. Clickety FUCKING CLICK! Fucking Scheiße!

to:

--> [[SeriousBusiness WAR is a SERIOUS matter!!]] '''[[PrecisionFStrike FUCK]]''' [[StopHavingFunGuys YOU!!!]]
-->
YOU!!!]]\\
Yes sir, ''yes'' sir, ''YES'' sir, '''FUCK OFF, SIR!!!'''
-->
SIR!!!'''\\
Clickety-click. Clickety FUCKING CLICK! Fucking Scheiße!Scheiße!\\
Who is doing that incessant button-tapping?\\
Reinhardt! Fart into the radio. Yes sir. [''fart noise'']
** Especially funny in that video is two quotes link up amusingly:
--> WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!\\
Hiding, keep it quiet!



-->Gunner! [[TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou Point the turret up at that camera in the sky!]]
-->[[BreakingTheFourthWall Go back to the main menu]], [[EasyModeMockery and try out the tutorial]].
--> No! I will not take my clothes off if you keep clicking.
--> Oh, hello wanker! What do you want?!
--> Gordon Bennett, not you again!

to:

-->Gunner! Gunner! [[TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou Point the turret up at that camera in the sky!]]
-->[[BreakingTheFourthWall
sky!]]\\
[[BreakingTheFourthWall
Go back to the main menu]], [[EasyModeMockery and try out the tutorial]].
-->
tutorial]].\\
No! I will not take my clothes off if you keep clicking.
-->
clicking.\\
Oh, hello wanker! What do you want?!
-->
want?!\\
Gordon Bennett, not you again!



--> AIRBORNE! Wanna go blow up HQ!?
--> You click me one more time and I will [[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING]] smoke you.
--> DOES YOUR MAMA KNOW YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT!?

to:

--> AIRBORNE! Wanna go blow up HQ!?
-->
HQ!?\\
You click me one more time and I will [[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING]] smoke you.
-->
you.\\
DOES YOUR MAMA KNOW YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT!?



-->'''American Infantryman:''' [[LeeroyJenkins Those tanks aren't so scary!]] (Quickly whispers to player) [[WhatTheHellPlayer Sir, are you fucking drunk?]]
-->'''German Sniper:''' ([[DeadpanSnarker Utterly Deadpan)]] [[GratuitousGerman Jawohl]]. [[WhatAnIdiot Attacking their armor... with my rifle]].

to:

-->'''American Infantryman:''' [[LeeroyJenkins Those tanks aren't so scary!]] (Quickly whispers to player) [[WhatTheHellPlayer Sir, are you fucking drunk?]]
-->'''German
drunk?]]\\
'''German
Sniper:''' ([[DeadpanSnarker Utterly Deadpan)]] [[GratuitousGerman Jawohl]]. [[WhatAnIdiot Attacking their armor... with my rifle]].



-->'''Hans:''' I'm not your mother you asshole, make your own goddamned coffee!

to:

-->'''Hans:''' '''Hans:''' I'm not your mother you asshole, make your own goddamned coffee!



-->'''Squad Leader while in combat:''' Volksgrenadiers, God damn it! Try '''ACTUALLY''' aiming!
-->'''Squad Leader, again in combat''' Volks, for the love of God, stop embarrassing yourselves!

to:

-->'''Squad Leader while in combat:''' Volksgrenadiers, God damn it! Try '''ACTUALLY''' aiming!
-->'''Squad
aiming!\\
'''Squad
Leader, again in combat''' Volks, for the love of God, stop embarrassing yourselves!



Yes sir! *pptht*
-->Panzerschreck! Time to UNPIMP HIS RIDE!
-->(in a calm jovial tone) First class battle taxi. Driver! A reichsmark extra if you turn around and head for fucking Germany.
-->You think you get a tip for dropping us off in combat?!

to:

Yes sir! *pptht*
-->Panzerschreck!
*pptht*\\
Panzerschreck!
Time to UNPIMP HIS RIDE!
-->(in
RIDE!\\
(in
a calm jovial tone) First class battle taxi. Driver! A reichsmark extra if you turn around and head for fucking Germany.
-->You
Germany.\\
You
think you get a tip for dropping us off in combat?!



-->I am steel! [[OhCrap Oh shit!]]
-->Where are they? Where are those fuckers?
-->(dying) Ahhhh! Stop, I ''command it''!
-->You have been at the candy again, haven't you?
-->*out of breath* I really must get in better shape.
-->I am your Leutnant, you will salute when I arrive!
-->Increase production now, or I will shoot you as saboteurs.
-->That is impossible, are you ''a spy''?

to:

-->I am steel! [[OhCrap Oh shit!]]
-->Where
shit!]]\\
Where
are they? Where are those fuckers?
-->(dying)
fuckers?\\
(dying)
Ahhhh! Stop, I ''command it''!
-->You
it''!\\
You
have been at the candy again, haven't you?
-->*out
you?\\
*out
of breath* I really must get in better shape.
-->I
shape.\\
I
am your Leutnant, you will salute when I arrive!
-->Increase
arrive!\\
Increase
production now, or I will shoot you as saboteurs.
-->That
saboteurs.\\
That
is impossible, are you ''a spy''?



-->'''Soldier''': [[NotWhatISignedUpFor I didn't come all the way to Europe to do this.]]
-->'''Soldier''': Sandbags completed, if I see one more bag of [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] dirt...

to:

-->'''Soldier''': [[NotWhatISignedUpFor I didn't come all the way to Europe to do this.]]
-->'''Soldier''':
]]\\
'''Soldier''':
Sandbags completed, if I see one more bag of [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] dirt...
* The Tiger Ace's gunner sounds stangely like a [[StonersAreFunny stoner]].[[note]]The Tiger Ace Gunner's quotes start at 5:19 in the second video linked above[[/note]]
-->'''Tiger Ace Gunner''': I could use a good steak. Oh I forgot I don't eat beef.\\
[[BaconAddiction Now I want some bacon. I love the smell of bacon. That's my favorite smell in the world. Bacon.]]\\
I bet there's hay in that barn. Lots of hay. You know what you could do with that much hay don't you? Yeah, I don't.\\
I saw some real people yesterday. Frenchies I think. They didn't look too happy.\\
[[AllMenArePerverts Actually, I just like to see naked women. It doesn't matter where. Or how.]]

11th Aug '16 6:33:13 PM MaddKossack115
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-->I KNOW it's technically impossible to shoot a Panzerschreck from an enclosed position. '''''[[SuddenlyShouting Don't read the]] [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] [[SuddenlyShouting manual next time]]'', [[NoSympathy and you won't care so much!!]]'''

to:

-->I KNOW it's technically impossible to shoot a Panzerschreck from an enclosed position. '''''[[SuddenlyShouting Don't read the]] [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] FUCKING]] [[SuddenlyShouting manual next time]]'', [[NoSympathy and you won't care so much!!]]'''



-->Antitank gun is firing! ({{Beat}}) ''Hey assholes!, we're Panzer GRENADIERS! Not PANZERS!''
-->I suppose if they are very lucky they can give us a headache with that AT Rifle!

to:

-->Antitank gun is firing! ({{Beat}}) ''Hey assholes!, assholes, we're Panzer GRENADIERS! Not GRENADIERS, not PANZERS!''
-->I suppose if they are very <i>very</i> lucky they can give us a headache with that AT Rifle!



--> [[RosesAreRed Roses are red, Violets are blue.]] ''I'm stuck on the Eastern Front...'' '''[[SuddenlyShouting AND SO ARE]] [[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING]] ''YOU!!!'''''

to:

--> [[RosesAreRed Roses are red, Violets are blue.]] ''I'm stuck on the Eastern Front...'' '''[[SuddenlyShouting AND SO ARE]] [[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING]] ''YOU!!!'''''''[[SuddenlyShouting YOU!!!]]'''''



-->'''HEAVY PANZER UNDER INFANTRY ATTACK!!!''' ({{Beat}}) '''WHY AM I SHOUTING THIS!?'''

to:

-->'''HEAVY PANZER -->'''[[TankGoodness HEAVY PANZER]] [[CherryTapping UNDER INFANTRY ATTACK!!!''' ATTACK!!!]]''' ({{Beat}}) '''WHY '''[[LampshadeHanging WHY AM I SHOUTING THIS!?'''THIS!?]]'''



-->Flamethrower, idiot! It '''throws flames''', ''USE IT!''

to:

-->Flamethrower, idiot! It '''throws flames''', ''USE IT!''''[[SuddenlyShouting USE IT!]]''


Added DiffLines:

-->Taking fire from an assault tank! That's a FUCKING big gun they're shooting at us!
-->A FUCKING huge tank is shooting at us!
-->Contact! ({Beat}) ''[[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl Fuck]]'', it's an Elefant!!
1st May '16 10:17:22 AM Bigbenhoward
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* German mortars crews can respond to being promoted with "Apparently, we've been promoted!", doing a LampshadeHanging of how rather video game-y the veterancy system is in relation to indirect fire squads that (ideally) avoid ever personally seeing the enemy.

to:

* German mortars mortar crews can respond to being promoted with "Apparently, we've been promoted!", doing a LampshadeHanging of how rather video game-y the veterancy system is in relation to indirect fire squads that (ideally) avoid ever personally seeing the enemy.



-->Fire at will, '''but not at Wilhelm''', he owes me money.

to:

-->Fire at will, '''but will! '''No, not at Wilhelm''', he Wilhelm!''' He owes me money.
11th Apr '16 3:44:11 AM SuperFeatherYoshi
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-->[[ViolationOfCommonSense You want us to attack an Elefant!?]] ({{Beat}}) Jahowl!

to:

-->[[ViolationOfCommonSense You want us to attack an Elefant!?]] ({{Beat}}) Jahowl!Jawohl!
10th Mar '16 6:03:31 AM TheFarmboy
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** The trailer for the Centaur Tank has the stinger of shooting down German tanks in the stylings of a type writer, complete with a ping sound as it revs back to open fire.

to:

** The trailer for the Centaur Tank has the stinger of the eponymous tank shooting down German tanks planes in the stylings of a type writer, complete with a ping sound as it revs back to open fire.
9th Mar '16 4:15:41 AM TheFarmboy
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--> Oh, hello wanker! What do you want?!
--> Gordon Bennett, not you again!



-->''*Churchill casually drives off*''

to:

-->''*Churchill casually drives off*''off*''
** The trailer for the Centaur Tank has the stinger of shooting down German tanks in the stylings of a type writer, complete with a ping sound as it revs back to open fire.
4th Mar '16 4:53:53 PM TheFarmboy
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-->[[SeriousBusiness War, is a serious matter! FUCK YOU!]]
-->*heavy breathing* I need to get in shape.

to:

-->[[SeriousBusiness War, is a serious matter! FUCK YOU!]]
-->*heavy breathing*
-->*out of breath* I need to really must get in better shape.



-->That will not work, are you ''a spy''?

to:

-->That will not work, is impossible, are you ''a spy''?
3rd Mar '16 4:30:28 PM TheFarmboy
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Added DiffLines:

** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quVPmOkt9Lw The]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTSoDHq1e6M Wehrmacht]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM2wtakgSp8 Officer]] deserves mention for being a LargeHam! A few choice phrases.
-->I am steel! [[OhCrap Oh shit!]]
-->Where are they? Where are those fuckers?
-->(dying) Ahhhh! Stop, I ''command it''!
-->You have been at the candy again, haven't you?
-->[[SeriousBusiness War, is a serious matter! FUCK YOU!]]
-->*heavy breathing* I need to get in shape.
-->I am your Leutnant, you will salute when I arrive!
-->Increase production now, or I will shoot you as saboteurs.
-->That will not work, are you ''a spy''?
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.CompanyOfHeroes