History Funny / CodexAlera

28th Nov '16 2:09:59 PM Milarqui
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* Doroga and Atsurak are fighting in deadly earnest, the winner being the one who will decide the fate of Caldron Valley. Then Amara notices the Marat talking to each other -

to:

* Doroga and Atsurak are fighting in deadly earnest, the winner being the one who will decide the fate of Caldron Calderon Valley. Then Amara notices the Marat talking to each other -other...



--> '''Tavi:''' It get's too hot in there after a long test. [[BuffySpeak The air gets all squishy.]]\\

to:

--> '''Tavi:''' It get's gets too hot in there after a long test. [[BuffySpeak The air gets all squishy.]]\\



'''Doroga:''' He saw how [[spoiler: Keepers see the heat of a body. Saw how they they respond to damage on the ''croach''. So he set it on fire.]]\\

to:

'''Doroga:''' He saw how [[spoiler: Keepers [[spoiler:Keepers see the heat of a body. Saw how they they respond to damage on the ''croach''. So he set it on fire.]]\\




* Captain Cyril explaining that the Aleran Legion isn't like the others:

to:

\n* Captain Cyril explaining that the First Aleran Legion isn't like the others:



* Captain's Fury: Ehren in response to a CrazyEnoughToWork plan:

to:

* Captain's Fury: Ehren in response to a CrazyEnoughToWork plan:



* Every time Isana and Kitai have a private talk is ''hilarious'' because of how frank the Marat is about her...relationship. Such as when Isana asks Kitai to talk about Tavi, and she launches into a whole spiel about her and Tavi's activities, including what he can do with his mouth, sending Isana stammering and trying desperately to get Kitai to stop talking.

to:

* Every time Isana and Kitai have a private talk is ''hilarious'' because of how frank the Marat is about her... relationship. Such as when Isana asks Kitai to talk about Tavi, and she launches into a whole spiel about her and Tavi's activities, including what he can do with his mouth, sending Isana stammering and trying desperately to get Kitai to stop talking.



** A couple chapters later, Valiar Marcus is giving language lessons to a Canim officer, and is trying to tactfully explain the difference between telling someone they have a weak sense of smell and telling them that they smell bad. The Canim takes the criticism badly, and lunges at Marcus. The old Centurion is prepared, however, and body slams the 9-foot-tall wolfman into a daze...and then continues correcting his grammar as if nothing had happened.

to:

** A couple chapters later, * Valiar Marcus is giving language lessons to a Canim officer, and is trying to tactfully explain the difference between telling someone they have a weak sense of smell and telling them that they smell bad. The Canim takes the criticism badly, and lunges at Marcus. The old Centurion is prepared, however, and body slams the 9-foot-tall wolfman into a daze...and then continues correcting his grammar as if nothing had happened.



** At one point, during a deadly serious and secret conversation about the Vord, [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Max is loudly cussing out his Taurga as a distraction.]] It wraps up with "[[BestialityIsDepraved And not even SHE]] [[InsultToRocks would do that with you]], no matter how much gold or how many burlap sacks were involved."



** At one point, during a deadly serious and secret conversation about the Vord, [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Max is loudly cussing out his Taurga as a distraction.]] It wraps up with "[[BestialityIsDepraved And not even SHE]] [[InsultToRocks would do that with you]], no matter how much gold or how many burlap sacks were involved."



** Kitai has discovered her relationship with Tavi is considered equal to be at best a concubine and she a whore to the Citizenry of Alera. She is furious with Tavi for neglecting that, for leaving him open to an attack by which she is the weapon, and when he stammeringly admits he just thought they would get together anyway without him courting her by her people's ways, it infuriates her to no end, she cuts off all their pleasure together.

to:

** Kitai has discovered her relationship with Tavi is considered equal to be at best a concubine and she at worst a whore to the Citizenry of Alera. She is furious with Tavi for neglecting that, for leaving him open to an attack by which she is the weapon, and when he stammeringly admits he just thought they would get together anyway without him courting her by her people's ways, it infuriates her to no end, she cuts off all their pleasure together.



* Canim giving legionares piggyback rides. Very effective for speedy transportation, but not a popular idea. A slightly loopy-from-exhaustion [[spoiler:Fidelias]] had this to say:

to:

* Canim giving legionares ''legionares'' piggyback rides. Very effective for speedy transportation, but not a popular idea. A slightly loopy-from-exhaustion [[spoiler:Fidelias]] had this to say:



--> "I AM STILL THIRSTY!"
* After that, Tavi sends his own message back, giving a rousing speech and words of kindness and empathy to those civilian Alerans who will die from starvation, giving them empathy and love, while holding any "Citizen" to task. A heartwarming and awesome moment made hilarious as it was also a [[spoiler:distraction. The message awoke the sentries around her imprisoned holds filled with captured people, and she silenced them to hear the message, allowing Tavi's knights to swoop in, take care of these sentries, and bring back the people. Crassus also took the time to take every bit of food and even the livestock just to spite the Vord Queen]]. The Vord Queen was so furious, they could hear her scream of fury miles away.

to:

--> "I AM STILL THIRSTY!"
THIRSTY! WHO WILL DRINK WITH ME?"
* After that, Tavi sends his own message back, giving a rousing speech and words of kindness and empathy to those civilian Alerans who will die from starvation, giving them empathy and love, while holding any "Citizen" to task. A heartwarming and awesome moment made hilarious as it was also a [[spoiler:distraction. The message awoke the sentries around her imprisoned holds filled with captured people, and she silenced them to hear the message, allowing Tavi's knights to swoop in, take care of these sentries, and bring back the people. Crassus also took the time to take every bit of food and even the livestock just to spite the Vord Queen]]. The Vord Queen was so furious, they could hear her scream of fury ten miles away.



Kitai looked at him with what looked like enormous patience that was nonetheless clearly being tried. "Aleran," she said between her teeth, "you should rest. In your wagon. Your enclosed, covered wagon. While nearly everyone else is busy with the battle."
--> Tavi blinked at her owlishly, then his eyes widened. "Oh," he said. A sudden smile lifted his mouth. "''Oh.''"

to:

Kitai looked at him with what looked like enormous patience that was nonetheless clearly being tried. "Aleran," she said between her teeth, "you should rest. In your wagon. Your enclosed, covered wagon. While nearly everyone else is busy with the battle."
-->
"\\
Tavi blinked at her owlishly, then his eyes widened. "Oh," he said. A sudden smile lifted his mouth. "''Oh.''"



--> Lord Placida had approached as they spoke, and he smiled briefly as they both turned to him. "In point of fact, dear, all of us owe her our lives."
--> Aria arched an imperious eyebrow. "You are not going to hug the pretty little Parcian girl, you goat."\\
Placida nodded gravely. "Foiled again."

to:

--> Lord Placida had approached as they spoke, and he smiled briefly as they both turned to him. "In point of fact, dear, all of us owe her our lives."
-->
"\\
Aria arched an imperious eyebrow. "You are not going to hug the pretty little Parcian girl, you goat."\\
Placida nodded gravely. "Foiled again."
28th Nov '16 9:33:19 AM Milarqui
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* Amara and Bernard have been locked up by [[ObstructiveBureaucrat Pluvus Pentius]] after Count Gram is attacked. That night, Garrison's healer and Centurion Giraldi take a sleeping Pluvus to get the two of them out, with the healer blatantly (and cheerfully) shaking Pluvus' head up and down so that he can officially say Pluvus "agrees" with what Bernard and Amara are saying.

to:

* Amara and Bernard have been locked up by [[ObstructiveBureaucrat Pluvus Pentius]] after Count Gram is attacked. That night, Garrison's healer and Centurion Giraldi take a sleeping Pluvus to get the two of them out, with the healer blatantly (and cheerfully) shaking Pluvus' head up and down so that he can officially say Pluvus "agrees" with what Bernard and Amara are saying. As Amara starts to give orders (using her Cursor position), she tells the healer that Pluvus needs a bed, and he promptly dumps him into the cell's pallet.
28th Nov '16 9:31:28 AM Milarqui
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Added DiffLines:

* Amara and Bernard have been locked up by [[ObstructiveBureaucrat Pluvus Pentius]] after Count Gram is attacked. That night, Garrison's healer and Centurion Giraldi take a sleeping Pluvus to get the two of them out, with the healer blatantly (and cheerfully) shaking Pluvus' head up and down so that he can officially say Pluvus "agrees" with what Bernard and Amara are saying.
26th Nov '16 2:56:37 PM ZimFan89
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[[AC: Princep's Fury]]




[[AC: Princep's Fury]]
7th May '16 11:56:38 PM Milarqui
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* Captain Cyril explaining that the Aleran Legion isn't like the others:
-->'''Cyril:''' We've only one [[PlayingWithFire Knight Ignus]], and he's currently [[EpicFail being treated for burn wounds.]]
** And that's not even the worst of it:
-->'''Tavi:''' Most Legions would kill to have [sixty] Knights Aeris, sir.
-->'''Cyril:''' Yes ... if they could fly.
-->'''Tavi:''' They can't? ... I thought that was what you had to be able to do to ''be'' one of those, sir.
-->'''Cyril:''' Oh, they can get into the air, for the most part. Getting ''down'' again in one piece has proven something of a problem...



* Lady Antillus (Max's WickedStepmother) is part of the Legion Tavi (incognito) and Max have joined. After Tavi breaks his leg (see above) and the Legion's medic heals it, she pronounces him capable (as part of her plan to prove Tavi's identity), but when she forces him on his broken leg he drops in pain. When the medic tells Tavi the bribe he'll need to ride in the wagon, Tavi pulls out the money he has stolen from Lady Antillus and hands him the cash. When he tells this to Max, the latter can only be amazed.



* Captain Cyril explaining that the Aleran Legion isn't like the others:
-->'''Cyril:''' We've only one [[PlayingWithFire Knight Ignus]], and he's currently [[EpicFail being treated for burn wounds.]]
** And that's not even the worst of it:
-->'''Tavi:''' Most Legions would kill to have [sixty] Knights Aeris, sir.
-->'''Cyril:''' Yes ... if they could fly.
-->'''Tavi:''' They can't? ... I thought that was what you had to be able to do to ''be'' one of those, sir.
-->'''Cyril:''' Oh, they can get into the air, for the most part. Getting ''down'' again in one piece has proven something of a problem...

to:

* Captain Cyril explaining that the Aleran Legion isn't like the others:
-->'''Cyril:''' We've only one [[PlayingWithFire Knight Ignus]], and he's currently [[EpicFail being treated for burn wounds.]]
** And that's not even the worst of it:
-->'''Tavi:''' Most Legions would kill to have [sixty] Knights Aeris, sir.
-->'''Cyril:''' Yes ... if they could fly.
-->'''Tavi:''' They can't? ... I thought that was what you had to be able to do to ''be'' one of those, sir.
-->'''Cyril:''' Oh, they can get into the air, for the most part. Getting ''down'' again in one piece has proven something of a problem...
18th Mar '16 5:31:11 PM Milarqui
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to:

* The entire mess begins because Tavi went out of Bernardholt in order to seek a bunch of sheep that had been lost earlier. [[spoiler:At the end of the book, when Amara calls him forward so that First Lord Gaius Sextus can publicly offer him what he wants, he is nowhere to be seen... [[BrickJoke because he left earlier to find the sheep.]]]]
24th Feb '16 6:32:32 AM isoycrazy
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* In the prologue of the book
** Kitai has discovered her relationship with Tavi is considered equal to be at best a concubine and she a whore to the Citizenry of Alera. She is furious with Tavi for neglecting that, for leaving him open to an attack by which she is the weapon, and when he stammeringly admits he just thought they would get together anyway without him courting her by her people's ways, it infuriates her to no end, she cuts off all their pleasure together.
** At the end of the scene, [[spoiler:Alera, the ancient fury who has seen mountains become valleys of rivers and grass, who would feel no real sadness in Tavi's death]] the following conversation happens:
--->'''Tavi''' You're taking her side because she's a girl.\\
[[spoiler:'''Alera''']]: Yes. I may be no expert, but I have learned enough of your ways to know which side of this debate I am obliged to support.



-->'''Cyricus:''' Y-you are w-welcomed as a guest, sir. B-but if you hurt anyone under my lord f-father's protection, I will kill you myself.
--> '''Varg:''' It will be as you say in your house, young Master. ''(to Tavi, in Canish)'' Does the pup remind you of anyone, Tavar?
-->'''Tavi:''' ''(in Canish)'' As I recall, I had a knife to your throat at the time.
-->'''Varg:''' It did give you a certain credibility.

to:

-->'''Cyricus:''' Y-you are w-welcomed as a guest, sir. B-but if you hurt anyone under my lord f-father's protection, I will kill you myself. \n--> \\
'''Varg:''' It will be as you say in your house, young Master. ''(to Tavi, in Canish)'' Does the pup remind you of anyone, Tavar?
-->'''Tavi:'''
Tavar?\\
'''Tavi:'''
''(in Canish)'' As I recall, I had a knife to your throat at the time.
-->'''Varg:'''
time.\\
'''Varg:'''
It did give you a certain credibility.



-->'''Kitai:''' Oh my. I might be in love.
-->'''Tavi:''' I saw him first.
-->'''Varg's ears:''' ''(quiver, quiver)''

to:

-->'''Kitai:''' --->'''Kitai:''' Oh my. I might be in love. \n-->'''Tavi:''' \\
'''Tavi:'''
I saw him first.
-->'''Varg's
first. \\
'''Varg's
ears:''' ''(quiver, quiver)''



--> "Ass," muttered Raucus.
--> "Thank you, Placida," the Princeps murmured in a dry voice. "Countess, please continue."

to:

--> "Ass," muttered Raucus.
-->
Raucus.\\
"Thank you, Placida," the Princeps murmured in a dry voice. "Countess, please continue."



* After that, Tavi sends his own message back, giving a rousing speech and words of kindness and empathy to those civilian Alerans who will die from starvation, giving them empathy and love, while holding any "Citizen" to task. A heartwarming and awesome moment made hilarious as it was also a [[spoiler:distraction. The message awoke the sentries around her imprisoned holds filled with captured people, and she silenced them to hear the message, allowing Tavi's knights to swoop in, take care of these sentries, and bring back the people. Crassus also took the time to take every bit of food and even the livestock just to spite the Vord Queen]]. The Vord Queen was so furious, they could hear her scream of fury miles away.



--> Kitai nodded in satisfaction. "Come. You need to get back to your wagon and rest. Varg has things well in hand."
--> "I should stay," Tavi said. "Watch. Who knows, there might be something here, some clue as to their weakness."
--> Kitai looked at him with what looked like enormous patience that was nonetheless clearly being tried. "Aleran," she said between her teeth, "you should rest. In your wagon. Your enclosed, covered wagon. While nearly everyone else is busy with the battle."

to:

--> Kitai nodded in satisfaction. "Come. You need to get back to your wagon and rest. Varg has things well in hand."
-->
"\\
"I should stay," Tavi said. "Watch. Who knows, there might be something here, some clue as to their weakness."
-->
"\\
Kitai looked at him with what looked like enormous patience that was nonetheless clearly being tried. "Aleran," she said between her teeth, "you should rest. In your wagon. Your enclosed, covered wagon. While nearly everyone else is busy with the battle."



--> Aria arched an imperious eyebrow. "You are not going to hug the pretty little Parcian girl, you goat."
--> Placida nodded gravely. "Foiled again."

to:

--> Aria arched an imperious eyebrow. "You are not going to hug the pretty little Parcian girl, you goat."
-->
"\\
Placida nodded gravely. "Foiled again."
23rd Feb '16 5:01:34 PM Adeon
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* Max declares that it would be the duty of every Aleran in Canea to die as quickly and efficiently if possible if that's what it took to get [[spoiler: Princeps Octavian]] safely home. Kitai tartly points out that given the aforementioned's non-existent skills at sea, the death of every Aleran in Canea could not ''possibly'' get him safely home.

to:

* Max Magnus declares that it would be the duty of every Aleran in Canea to die as quickly and efficiently if possible if that's what it took to get [[spoiler: Princeps Octavian]] safely home. Kitai tartly points out that given the aforementioned's non-existent skills at sea, the death of every Aleran in Canea could not ''possibly'' get him safely home.
23rd Nov '15 9:43:40 AM roxana
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-->'''Kitai:''' It is foolish, but we must endure this Aleran nonsense. It will make your father happy.

to:

-->'''Kitai:''' -->'''Kitai''' (to her infant son): It is foolish, but we must endure this Aleran nonsense. It will make your father happy.
9th Sep '15 10:28:47 AM starjammer05
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** The challenge from Book One when they were both kids included ''all three'' of those things, which they would subsequently claim as [[spoiler: an AccidentalMarriage.]]

to:

** The challenge from Book One when they were both kids included ''all three'' of those things, which they would subsequently claim as [[spoiler: an AccidentalMarriage.]]]]
* Gaius Primus' reaction upon first meeting the Great Fury Alera: "Bother, I've gone mad."
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