History Funny / Clue

--->'''Mrs. White''': Don't you think we should get that ''man'' out of the house before he finds out what's been going ''on'' here?! ''(throws what's left of her glass into the fire)''

'''Wadsworth:''' Yes.\\

'''Mustard:''' This is ''war'', Peacock! Casualties are inevitable. You cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs; any cook will tell you that!\\

* At the start of the movie when Wadsworth introduces himself to Colonel Mustard.
-->'''Colonel Mustard:''' Who are you?\\
'''Wadsworth:''' I'm the butler, sir.\\
'''Colonel Mustard:''' And what do you do?\\
'''Wadsworth:''' I buttle, sir.

'''Mrs. White:''' He wasn't a very good illusionist!

'''Mrs. White:''' It's a great trick! [[note]] a CallBack to her illusionist husband[[/note]]

'''Mustard:''' "No, there ''is''," or "no, there ''isn't''?"\\

'''Mrs. White:''' [shatters glass] PLEASE!\\
''[Later]''\\
'''Mustard:''' Well, there is still some confusion as to whether or not there is anybody else in this house!\\

'''Mustard:''' This is ''war'', Peacock! Casualties are inevitable. You cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs, every cook will tell you that!\\

** Immediately following this, Mrs. White cuts off the argument with a shrieked "''PLEASE''!" as she smashes her brandy glass against the mantelpiece. Madeline Kahn's inflections are priceless.
--->'''Mrs. White''': Don't you think we should get that ''man'' out of the house before he finds out what's been going ''on'' here?! ''(smashes glass in the fire)''
** Also, Mrs. Peacock:
--->'''Mrs. Peacock''': Oh, who ''cares''?! That guy doesn't matter! Let him stay locked up for another half an hour! The ''police'' will ''be'' here by then, and ''THERE ARE TWO DEAD BODIES IN THE STUDY''!!\\
'''Everyone''': ''Shhhhhh''!

-->'''Mr. Green:''' ''I didn't do it!'' Somebody help please. ''Somebody help me please.''

* "To make a long story short--" "Too late!"

'''Ms. Scarlet:''' Oh, come on, you don't think I'm gonna fall for that old trick? \\

'''Mustard:''' ''Is there anybody else in this house?''\\

-->'''Ms. Scarlet''': Why?!\\

'''Ms. Scarlet:''' That's not six!\\

'''Ms. Scarlet:''' Uh-uh, there was only one shot that got the chandelier. It's [[OneBulletLeft 1 + 2 + 1 + 1.]]\\

'''Ms. Scarlet:''' ...'kay, fine. [[OverlyLongGag 1 + 2 + 1]] -- '''[[BigShutUp SHUT UP!]]''' The point is, there's one bullet left in this gun and guess who's gonna get it!

'''Ms. Scarlet:''' +1.\\

-->'''Wadsworth''': "We're like the Mounties, we always get our man!"\\

** Wadsworth and the other guests awkwardly singing "For She's A Jolly Good Fellow" for Mrs. Peacock when she leaves the house, especially Mrs. White's uncomfortable attempt at harmony. They immediately break it off once she's out the door, and Scarlet even does a FacePalm.

* The desperation in Mr. Green as he attempts to prevent the cop from discovering all the corpses, from his ridiculous CaptainObvious tour of the house, to his ObfuscatingStupidity in feigning ignorance of which rooms the cop is talking about (made funnier if you take the third ending into account--he's a real cop going through ridiculous antics to prevent the sting from being ruined), culminating in his reactions to what they discover in the study and the lounge. Creator/MichaelMcKean's expressions have to be seen to be believed. "Because... because it's ''all too shocking''!"
* Mrs. White admitting to killing Yvette, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8d8y4BLWtI and explaining why]]-- Madeline Kahn ad-libbed the gem with the director's foreknowledge. None of their costars knew about it, however, and their reactions to the insane spiel are priceless.
* Wadsworth abusing Mr. Green during TheSummation.
-->'''Mr. Green''': WILL YOU STOP THAT?!\\
'''Wadsworth''': [[{{BluntNo}} No]].
** In the second ending, you see he's gotten wise and ducks out of the way when he demonstrates how Yvette and the Cop were killed.
** The gagging noise Mrs. White makes when Wadsworth pretends she's Yvette and strangles her is priceless. (As is her little scream when Mr. Green commiserates with her, "I ''hate'' it when he does that!")
** When Wadsworth lies face-down on the floor in the study to simulate Mr. Boddy, he appears to be dead. Everyone gasps and Mr. Green exclaims [[SarcasmMode "Oh, grand!"]] before Wadsworth springs back up again, nearly giving poor Mr. Green a heart attack.
*** Miss Scarlet, however, just calmly lights up her cigarette in the darkness.
** When Wadsworth falls out of the meat locker in the Kitchen, Mr. Green catches him, then simply drops him onto the floor in exasperation.
*** Even better, Wadsworth continues his exposition without missing a beat from his position on the floor.
---->'''Wadsworth''': [[CaptainObvious By now, she was dead.]]
** When Wadsworth leaps out from behind the secret passage painting in the study and chases Mr. Green with an imaginary candlestick to re-enact Boddy's death, listen closely: he actually does a laughter version of "Na na na-na na!"
** Wadsworth nonsensically explains twice that he was in the hall to begin the night:
--->'''Wadsworth:''' I was in the hall...[[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment I know because I was there]].
** Wadsworth shooing Mrs. Peacock to her chair during the explanation, managing to get her to squawk to reenact her screaming.
*** After he reenacts Mr. Green's slapping of her, he imitates Green's meek "I had to stop her from screaming" and mimes pushing glasses up his nose. Look behind him, and you can see the real Mr. Green doing the same.
** Mr. Green walking nonchalantly out of the bathroom after Wadsworth has thrown him in there (simulating the killer hiding Mr. Boddy's body), drying his hands on a towel and accompanied by the sound of a toilet flushing.
* [[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4UMHduT30s0 "I...am...your singing telegram..."]] [[KilledMidSentence *BAM*]]
* A good portion of the humor during TheSummation comes from the madcap soundtrack, which unsurprisingly is quite vaudevillian in nature.
* After Mr. Boddy's body disappears, Miss Scarlet remarks that, "Maybe there is life after death." Mrs. White's response?
-->'''Mrs. White:''' Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage.

* When Miss Scarlet and Colonel Mustard are locked in the lounge with the dead motorist, and the others are trying to get the door open.
--> '''Professor Plum:''' The door's locked!\\
'''Mr. Green:''' I know!\\
'''Professor Plum:''' Then unlock it!\\
'''Mr. Green:''' Where's the key?\\
'''Wadsworth:''' ''(after searching his pockets)'' The key is gone!\\
'''Professor Plum:''' Never mind about the key! Unlock the door!\\
'''Mr. Green:''' ''(grabbing Professor Plum and shaking him)'' I can't unlock the door without the key! ''(releases Professor Plum and bangs on the door)'' Let us in! Let us in!\\
'''Miss Scarlet and Colonel Mustard:''' Let us out! Let us out!
** Then when Yvette shoots the lock to open it Col. Mustard staggers from the door screaming "I've been shot!" despite being perfectly fine. Look carefully, there is a hole in his coat and his arm WAS near the lock...so he's fine his coat not so much..
** Even this throwaway line, from after the door is opened:
--->'''Mrs. White:''' How did you get in?\\
'''Mr. Green:''' The door was locked!\\
'''Mrs. White:''' It's a great trick! [[note]] a CallBack to her illusionist husband[[/note]]
* The guests come back to the study with the dead cook, only to discover Mr. Boddy's "body" has vanished. Several of them immediately drop Mrs. Ho's front half with a very resounding thud. Then comes this exchange:
-->'''Mrs. Peacock''': What are you all staring at?\\
'''Mr. Green''': Nothing.\\
'''Mrs. Peacock''': Well who's there?\\
'''Colonel Mustard''': Nobody.\\
'''Mrs. Peacock''': What do you mean?\\
'''Wadsworth''': Nobody. No body, that's what we mean. Mr. Boddy's body, it's gone!\\
'''Mrs. White''': Maybe he wasn't dead.\\
'''Professor Plum''': He ''was''.\\
'''Mrs. White''': We should have made sure.\\
'''Mrs. Peacock''': How? [[CallBack By cutting his head off, I suppose]].\\
'''Mrs. White''': ''That'' was uncalled for.
* The guests [[OfCorpseHesAlive trying to make the dead bodies seem alive]] for the benefit of the cop. Especially Mrs. White making out with Mr. Boddy's corpse on the sofa!
** When Wadsworth comes back and sees Mr. Green and the cop emerging from the room, he assumes the cop found the corpses and doesn't know the guests covered things up. [[OneDialogueTwoConversations The conversation that ensues]]:
--->'''Cop:''' You're too late, I've seen everything. \\
'''Wadsworth:''' You have? I can explain everything. \\
'''Cop:''' You don't have to. \\
'''Wadsworth:''' I don't? \\
'''Cop:''' Don't worry! There's nothing illegal about any of this! \\
'''Wadsworth:''' Are you ''sure''? \\
'''Cop:''' Of course, this is America! \\
'''Wadsworth:''' I see! \\
'''Cop:''' It's a free country, don't you know that? \\
'''Wadsworth:''' I didn't know it was ''that'' free.
** Miss Scarlet and Professor Plum put the motorist in a chair with a liquor bottle to make it appear like he's passed out drunk, and they can't resist cracking some jokes when the cop inspects him.
--->'''Cop:''' ''*sniffs*'' This man's drunk. Dead drunk. \\
'''Scarlet:''' ...dead right! \\
'''Cop:''' ''*turns back to the motorist*'' You're not going to drive home, are you? \\
'''Plum:''' He won't be driving home officer, I promise you that! \\
'''Cop:''' Someone will give him a lift? \\
'''Scarlet:''' We'll get him a car. \\
'''Plum:''' A long, black car. \\
'''Scarlet:''' ''*punches Plum in the chest*'' A limousine!
* "To make a long story short--" "Too late!"
* Colonel Mustard's investigation of the kitchen culminates in him opening a closet, suspecting a body or the murderer or anything, diving his head forward to make sure nothing escapes him... only to get bonked on the head by a folding ironing board.
** He also manages to hit his head on the underside of the dining room table after the power is turned off.

* "'''''[[BlatantLies I'M NOT SHOUTING!]]'''''" ''([[{{Beat}} Everyone gives Wadsworth a strange look.]])'' "ALRIGHT I AM! [[SuddenlyShouting I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOU--]]" ''(Thunk)''"
* This exchange:
-->'''Colonel Mustard:''' Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests!?\\
'''Wadsworth:''' [[DeadpanSnarker You don't need any help from me, sir]].\\
'''Colonel Mustard:''' That's right!
** And this one:
-->'''Colonel Mustard:''' How many husbands have you had?\\
'''Mrs. White:''' [[GoodAdulteryBadAdultery Mine or other women's?]]\\
'''Colonel Mustard:''' Yours.\\
'''Mrs. White:''' Five.\\
'''Colonel Mustard:''' ''Five?''\\
'''Mrs. White:''' Yes, just the five. [[BlackWidow Husbands should be like Kleenex. Soft, strong, and disposable]].\\
'''Colonel Mustard:''' You ''lure'' men to their deaths like a spider with flies!\\
'''Mrs. White:''' [[DoubleEntendre Flies]] are where men are most vulnerable.\\
'''Colonel Mustard:''' Right! ''[beat, realizes]'' Well, if it wasn't you, then who was it?
* The guests [[ConditionedToAcceptHorror becoming less and less concerned for the care of the corpses]] as the movie goes on. When the cook dies, they take great care not to aggravate the deadly injury. By they time they get to the singing telegram girl, they simply drop her face-first on the floor from ''shoulder''-height. And by the time they find Yvette's body, they simply walk into the billiards room, stare at her for a few seconds, then leave without even taking the body with them.

--> '''Professor Plum:''' It's you and me, honey''bunch''.\\

* When Col. Mustard proposes pairing off to search the house:
-->'''Professor Plum:''' Wait a minute. Suppose that one of us is the murderer, if we split up into pairs, whichever one of us is left with the killer might get killed!
-->'''Mustard:''' Then we will have discovered who the murderer is.
-->'''Peacock:''' But the other half of the pair would be dead!
-->'''Mustard:''' This is ''war'', Peacock! Casualties are inevitable. You cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs, every cook will tell you that!
-->'''Peacock:''' [[AnalogyBackfire But look what happened to the cook!]]
* Similarly, Plum and Peacock at the top of the basement stairs, understandably reluctant to go down:

* While Peacock is searching the dark basement, she bumps into a heating duct, which she promptly beats with her handbag.

* In the study, after Mr. Green has stopped Mrs. Peacock from screaming over the possibly-poisoned brandy, they all examine the broken glass and decide they'll never know if it was poisoned. "Unless," Mr. Green points out, "Unless she dies too." Cue the guests running over to surround Mrs. Peacock and intently study her for signs of impending death, while she stares at them like they're utterly mad.
* The discussion of Mrs. White's husband and his untimely end:
--> '''Mrs. White:''' But he was found dead at home. His head had been cut off, and so had his...''[[GroinAttack you know]]''...\\
''([[ShareTheMalePain All the men cross their legs]])''
** Shortly afterwards:
---> '''Wadsworth:''' But he was your ''second'' husband. Your first husband ''also'' disappeared!\\
'''Mrs. White:''' But that was his job. He was an illusionist.\\
'''Wadsworth:''' But he never re-appeared!\\
'''Mrs. White:''' He wasn't a very good illusionist!
** The {{Novelization}} makes this even funnier by noting that Wadsworth sounded like Ralph Edwards from ''This is Your Life''.

* This exchange:
-->'''Wadsworth:''' Look, I suggest we take the cook's body into the study.\\
'''Colonel Mustard:''' Why?\\
'''Wadsworth:''' I'm the butler. I like to keep the kitchen tidy.

* After discovering the cook's body, Colonel Mustard and Miss Scarlet are arguing leading to this:
-->'''Colonel Mustard:''' Some defense! If I was the killer, I would kill ''you'' next!\\
(everyone looks at him suspiciously)\\
'''Colonel Mustard:''' [[IWasJustJoking I said "if"!]] '''[[IWasJustJoking "IF"!]]'''
* Mrs. White threatening Wadsworth:
-->'''Mrs. White:''' (grabbing his tie seductively) Oh, Wadsworth, I'll make you sorry you ever started this! One day, when we're alone together...\\
'''Wadsworth:''' Mrs. White, no man in his right mind would ''ever'' be alone together with you.
** And then they end up paired up by the drawing of the straws to search the house. Which, upon discovering this, results in the two of them just staring at each other like deer in the headlights.
** The payoff for this comes when they actually get to the second-floor hallway and are tremulously preparing to enter two darkened side-by-side rooms. After they both peer in for a while, and discuss whether there are any light switches, Wadsworth offers to come into her room with Mrs. White. Cue a BigNo, followed by a sedate "No, thank you." Then they both ''very s-l-o-w-l-y'' creep into their rooms...only to leap back out the doorways to check that the other is still there, complete with ScareChord.
* This exchange:
-->'''Colonel Mustard:''' (looks into the study) Just checking.\\
'''Mrs. Peacock:''' Everything alright?\\
'''Colonel Mustard:''' [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight Yep. Two corpses. Everything's fine]].
* Miss Scarlet's and Mrs. White's vocal and facial expressions while trying to lift The Cook's body onto the couch.
* And this moment:
--> '''Colonel Mustard:''' How did you know that?\\
'''Wadsworth:''' Can you keep a secret?\\
'''Colonel Mustard:''' ''(leaning in)'' Yes.\\
'''Wadsworth:''' So can I. ''(turns away)''
* Early in the movie, Wadsworth shares everyone's secrets, written down on pages of notes, which are the reasons Mr. Boddy was blackmailing them in the first place. When he comes to Mr. Green, Green opts to spill his secrets himself to try and preserve some dignity, including his homosexuality. Wadsworth rifles through his notes with a stunned look on his face, as if to say, "I didn't have ''that'' on here!"
* This exchange between Colonel Mustard and Mrs. White re: Mustard's incriminating photographs:
--> '''Colonel Mustard:''' Mr. Boddy threatened to send those pictures to my dear old mother. The shock would have killed her!\\
'''Mrs. White:''' Well, that would have been quite an achievement, since you've told us that she's dead already!
* Colonel Mustard's original explanation of his wealth.
--> I came into money after the war when I lost my [[ManChild mommy and daddy.]]
* One of the earliest funny gags: the Cook bangs the gong to summon the guests for dinner, resulting in Mr. Green splashing his champagne all over Mrs. Peacock. (Assuming the audience didn't react to the JumpScare themselves.)
* Another Mrs. Peacock moment: during Wadsworth's madcap summation, when he comes to the Cop's arrival the doorbell actually rings. (It's the Jehovah's Witness.) After everyone stares for a few moments, Mrs. Peacock cries ([[{{Hypocrite}} even as she goes to answer it]]), "Oh, whoever it is, they've got to go away or they'll be killed!"
** For that matter, the actual arrival of the Cop. After the doorbell rings, Miss Scarlet actually suggests (despite all the cars outside and all the lights blazing in the house) that "maybe they'll just go away." Then, when Mr. Green demands the key (because he has nothing to hide since "I didn't do it!"), he opens the door, sees the Cop...and slams the door in his face.
* During Wadsworth's big "I've got it!" moment where he's leading the other guests around the house, he grabs Mrs. White's hand to lead her up the stairs. As he's pulling her up after him, she slips out of his hand and flops to the stairs with a thud like she's a sheet being spread out, which goes completely unnoticed by Wadsworth. It's made even funnier by the fact that the camera completely ignores this as well and continues to follow Wadsworth up the stairs.
* At the start of the movie when Wadsworth introduces himself to Colonel Mustard.
-->'''Colonel Mustard:''' Who are you?\\
'''Wadsworth:''' I'm the butler, sir.\\
'''Colonel Mustard:''' And what do you do?\\
'''Wadsworth:''' I buttle, sir.
* When the Guests hear a scream from the Billiards Room;
-->'''Prof. Plum:''' It must be the murderer!\\
'''Mr. Green:''' Why would ''he'' scream?\\
'''Mrs. White:''' He must have a victim in there. ''(understated and subtly distressed)'' Oh my God, Yvette!\\
'''Mr. Green''', ''([[LargeHam extremely over-the-top and panicked]])'': ''Oh my God!''
* When the corpse of the very hefty Mrs. Ho falls into Mr. Green's arms, he quickly sags under the weight.
-->'''Mr. Green:''' ''I didn't do it!'' Somebody help please. ''Somebody help me please.''

'''Professor Plum:''' You don't know what kind of people they have at the UN, I might go up in their estimation.

-->'''Wadsworth:''' ''(dumbstruck)'' [[IJustShotMarvinInTheFace 1 + 2... + 1...]]\\

-->'''Wadsworth''': "You see, it's like the Mounties, we always get our man!"\\

-->'''Wadsworth''': Don't you remember your fatal mistake? You told us at dinner that we were eating one of your favorite recipes! And [[ForeignQueasine monkey's brains]], though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington, D.C.!\\

-->'''Prof. Plum:''' WAIT A MINUTE! So who did I kill?!\\

* This deleted exchange between Colonel Mustard and Mr. Green [[MissingTrailerScene featured in the trailer]], according to the script, it takes place when they heard Yvette screaming:
-->'''Colonel Mustard:''' WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING?!\\
'''Mr. Green:''' BECAUSE I’M FRIGHTENED!\\
'''Colonel Mustard:''' Of what?\\
'''Mr. Green:''' SCREAMING!
* This [[https://puterboy1.tumblr.com/post/650355511095640064/deleted-exchange-from-clue deleted exchange]] between Mrs. Peacock and Mrs. White in the script, it takes place after the Cop investigates the study:
-->'''Mrs. Peacock:''' How could you kiss that thing?\\
'''Mrs. White:''' It’s like kissing my first husband.\\
'''Mrs. Peacock:''' Before or after you cut his head off?
* At one point in the first ending, Wadsworth explains how Yvette killed Mr. Boddy and hid him in the bathroom, leading to this exchange:
-->'''Ms. Scarlet''': Why?!\\
'''Wadsworth''': To create confusion.\\
'''Mrs. Peacock''': It worked.\\
'''Colonel Mustard''': (''nods solemnly'')

'''Mrs. White''': ''That'' wasn't called for.

'''Mrs. White:''' Yes, just the five. [[BlackWidow Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable]].\\

-->'''Mustard:''' This is ''war'', Peacock! Casualties are inevitable. You cannot make an omelette without breaking some eggs, any cook will tell you that!

-->'''Wadsworth:''' I suggest we take to cook's body into the study.\\

'''Wadsworth:''' I'm the butler, I like to keep the kitchen tidy.

-->'''Wadsworth''': "We always get our man!"\\

'''Mrs. Peacock:''' Before or after you cut his head off?\\

* The guests [[OfCorpseHesAlive trying to make the dead bodies seem alive]] for the benefit of the cop. Especially Mrs. White making out with the corpse on the sofa!
** When the cop turns around and reassures Wadsworth that he sees nothing wrong, it's just people having a good time and that it's a free country, Wadsworth (who didn't see the coverup) quips, "I didn't know it was ''that'' free."
--->'''Cop:''' There's nothing illegal about any of this.
--->'''Wadsworth:''' Are you ''sure''?
* "To make a long story short--"
** "Too late!"

'''Wadsworth''': No.

* After Mr. Boddy's body disappears, Miss Scarlet remarks that, "Maybe there is such a thing as life after death." Mrs White's response?

-->'''Mrs. Peacock:''' Excuse me, is there a little girl's room around here?\\

'''Mrs. Peacock:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint No, I just need to powder my nose.]]

'''Wadsworth''': Nobody. No Boddy, that's what we mean. Mr. Boddy's body, it's gone!\\

* The guests [[OfCorpseHesAlive trying to make the dead bodies seem alive]] for the benefit of the cop. Especially Miss White making out with the corpse on the sofa!

'''Mustard:''' ''[Dismissively]'' ...well, that's what he ''says''...but does he know?

--->'''Mrs. White''': Shouldn't we get that ''man'' out of the house before he finds out what's been going ''on'' here?! ''(smashes glass in the fire)''

-->'''Professor Plum:''' What if one of us is the murderer? Whoever gets paired with the killer might get killed.

-->'''Prof. Plum:''' What are you afraid of, a fate worse than death?\\

* In the study, after Mr. Green has stopped Mrs. Peacock from screaming over the possibly-poisoned brandy, they all examine the broken glass and decide they'll never know if it was poisoned. "Unless," Mr. Green points out, "she dies too." Cue the guests running over to surround Mrs. Peacock and intently study her for signs of impending death, while she stares at them like they're utterly mad.

--> '''Mrs. White:''' He was found dead on the floor, his head had been cut off, and so had his...''[[GroinAttack you know]]''...\\

'''Mrs. White:''' That was his job. He was an illusionist.\\

-->'''Wadsworth''': ''You'' knew Yvette, didn't you? Don't deny it.\\

* After discovering the cook's body, Colonel Mustard and Miss Scarlett are arguing leading to this:
-->'''Colonel Mustard:''' If I were the killer, I would kill ''you'' next!\\

-->'''Mrs. White:''' (grabbing his tie seductively) Oh, Wadsworth! Some day...when we're alone together...\\
'''Wadsworth:''' Madam, no man in his right mind would ''ever'' be alone together with you.

** The payoff for this comes when they actually get to the second-floor hallway and are tremulously preparing to enter two darkened side-by-side rooms. After they both peer in for a while, and discuss whether there are any light switches, Wadsworth offers to come into her room with Mrs. White. Cue BigNo, followed by a sedate "No, thank you." Then they both ''very s-l-o-w-l-y'' creep into their rooms...only to leap back out the doorways to check that the other is still there, complete with ScareChord.

* Early in the movie, Wadsworth shares everyone's secrets, written down on pages of notes, which are the reasons Mr. Boddy was blackmailing them in the first place. When he comes to Mr. Greene, Greene opts to spill his secrets himself to try an preserve some dignity, including his homosexuality. Wadsworth rifles through his notes with a stunned look on his face, as if to say, "I didn't have ''that'' on here!"

* Another Mrs. Peacock moment: during Wadsworth's madcap summation, when he comes to the Cop's arrival the doorbell actually rings. (It's the Jehovah's Witness.) After everyone stares for a few moments, Mrs. Peacock cries ([[{{Hypocrite}} even as she goes to answer it]]), "Whoever it is, they've got to go away or they'll be killed!"
** For that matter, the actual arrival of the Cop. After the doorbell rings, Miss Scarlet actually suggests (despite all the cars outside and all the lights blazing in the house) that "maybe if we stay quiet, they'll just go away." Then, when Mr. Green demands the key (because he has nothing to hide since "I didn't do it!"), he opens the door, sees the Cop...and slams the door in his face.

'''Wadsworth:''' I butle, sir.

'''Mrs. White:''' It must be his victim in there. ''(understated and subtly distressed)'' Oh my God, Yvette!\\

--> '''Miss Scarlet:''' I hardly think it would enhance your reputation at the UN, Professor Plum, if it was revealed that you were implicated not only in adultery with one of your patients, but in her death, and the deaths of five other people.\\

'''Wadsworth:''' It's not a trick. There was one shot at Mr. Boddy in the Study; two for the chandelier; two at the Lounge door and one for the singing telegram.\\

** Wadsworth and the other guests awkwardly singing "For She's A Jolly Good Fellow" for Ms. Peacock when she leaves the house, especially Ms. White's uncomfortable attempt at harmony. They immediately break it off once she's out the door, and Scarlet even does a FacePalm.

-->'''Wadsworth''': Don't you remember your fatal mistake? You told us all at dinner that we were eating one of your favorite recipes! And [[ForeignQueasine monkey's brains]], though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington, D.C.!\\

'''Wadsworth:''' Even if you are right, that would be [[ItIsPronouncedTroPAY 1 + 1 + 2 + 1]], not [[InsufferableGenius 1 + 2 + 1 + 1.]]\\

'''Colonel Mustard:''' [[IWasJustJoking I said 'if!']] '''[[IWasJustJoking If!]]'''

-->'''Colonel Mustard:''' "If I were the killer, I would kill ''you'' next!"\\

'''Colonel Mustard:''' [[IWasJustJoking "I said 'if!']] ''[[IWasJustJoking If!"]]''

-->'''Mrs. White:''' (grabbing his tie seductively) "Oh, Wadsworth! Some day...when we're alone together..."\\
'''Wadsworth:''' "Madam, no man in his right mind would ''ever'' be alone together with you."