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* Stumpy betting on a boxing match, being obnoxiously sure that his pick can't lose, because there's no way a white man can lose to a black man. Except he promptly does. So this is the part where Stumpy learns a hard-earned lessons about racist stereotypes, right? Nope - he soon finds out that the boxer he bet on was Jewish, and reacts like it all suddenly makes sense, because [[NoTrueScotsman of course a Jew isn't a "real" white man!]]
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Changed line(s) 26 (click to see context) from:
* After Management dies, the image of his face appears on his pillowcase (a la The Shroud of Turin). Sampson shows it to to Ben and says "Look at what you killed, you ignorant hayseed!".
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* After Management dies, the image of his face appears on his pillowcase (a la The Shroud of Turin). Sampson shows it to to Ben and says "Look at what you killed, you ignorant hayseed!".hayseed!".
* Sampson taking the piss out of HeroicSacrifice in this blasphemous screed.
-->'''Sampson''': What the hell is it with you people?
-->'''Ben''': What do you mean?
-->'''Sampson''': You know what I mean. Management, you, Jesus, John the Baptist, the whole bunch of you! All fired up to throw your lives away.
-->'''Ben''': They did what they had to do.
-->'''Sampson''': Hogwash. You think the Lord had to die to make his point? What if when they said, "Come on down from that cross" old Jesus just come on down and spit right in their eye? What harm would that have done?
-->'''Ben''': That's about the dumbest thing I ever heard.
-->'''Sampson''': No, it ain't! The dumbest thing is dying when you ain't got to. Dying, just 'cause you're piss-poor at living.
* Sampson taking the piss out of HeroicSacrifice in this blasphemous screed.
-->'''Sampson''': What the hell is it with you people?
-->'''Ben''': What do you mean?
-->'''Sampson''': You know what I mean. Management, you, Jesus, John the Baptist, the whole bunch of you! All fired up to throw your lives away.
-->'''Ben''': They did what they had to do.
-->'''Sampson''': Hogwash. You think the Lord had to die to make his point? What if when they said, "Come on down from that cross" old Jesus just come on down and spit right in their eye? What harm would that have done?
-->'''Ben''': That's about the dumbest thing I ever heard.
-->'''Sampson''': No, it ain't! The dumbest thing is dying when you ain't got to. Dying, just 'cause you're piss-poor at living.
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Changed line(s) 25 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Stumpy:''' Find out if it's true what they say about Eastern women: Is the basket swinging straight up and down... or ''sideways?''
to:
-->'''Stumpy:''' Find out if it's true what they say about Eastern women: Is the basket swinging straight up and down... or ''sideways?''''sideways?''
* After Management dies, the image of his face appears on his pillowcase (a la The Shroud of Turin). Sampson shows it to to Ben and says "Look at what you killed, you ignorant hayseed!".
* After Management dies, the image of his face appears on his pillowcase (a la The Shroud of Turin). Sampson shows it to to Ben and says "Look at what you killed, you ignorant hayseed!".
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-->'''Stumpy:''' Behold! The ''MAN EATING CHICKEN!''
* After their unsucessful visit to the Templar Lodge:
-->'''Samson:''' Bunch of fat buckwheats!
-->'''Ben:''' What'd you expect? Black capes and... horns?
-->'''Samson:''' (''cracks up laughing'') They was playin' gin rummy!
* After their unsucessful visit to the Templar Lodge:
-->'''Samson:''' Bunch of fat buckwheats!
-->'''Ben:''' What'd you expect? Black capes and... horns?
-->'''Samson:''' (''cracks up laughing'') They was playin' gin rummy!
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* The lengths the carnies go to in order to invent shows can be pretty funny. Further, Stumpy's sales pitch for every cootch show is based on hyping the event by exaggerating it, while going by whatever theme is on that night. Some of the things Stumpy slaps together are pretty chuckle-worthy.
to:
* The lengths the carnies go to in order to invent shows can be pretty funny. Further, Stumpy's sales pitch for every cootch show is based on hyping the event by exaggerating it, while going by whatever theme is on that night. Some of the things Stumpy slaps together are pretty chuckle-worthy.chuckle-worthy.
** Such as when Sofie pretends to be an Oriental cootch dancer:
-->'''Stumpy:''' Find out if it's true what they say about Eastern women: Is the basket swinging straight up and down... or ''sideways?''
** Such as when Sofie pretends to be an Oriental cootch dancer:
-->'''Stumpy:''' Find out if it's true what they say about Eastern women: Is the basket swinging straight up and down... or ''sideways?''
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* Samson's half-assed, self-conscious chanting during the revival show in "Tipton".
-->'''Samson:''' Jesus... Jesus... Jesus...
-->'''Samson:''' Jesus... Jesus... Jesus...
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Changed line(s) 9 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Lila:''' Jonesy? That boy don't squat unless Sampson says "shit".
to:
-->'''Lila:''' Jonesy? That boy don't squat unless Sampson Samson says "shit".
Changed line(s) 11,12 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Sampson:''' ''Shit!''
* The "Fireball Show" in "Insomnia" where Stumpy successfully shows the crowd a Man Eating Chicken. The reactions on the crowd are just priceless
* The "Fireball Show" in "Insomnia" where Stumpy successfully shows the crowd a Man Eating Chicken. The reactions on the crowd are just priceless
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* The "Fireball Show" in "Insomnia" where Stumpy successfully shows the crowd a Man Eating Chicken. The reactions on the crowd are just
* Stumpy gleefully asking Sofie's crystal ball: "What color is my piss gonna be tomorrow?!"
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* Ben screaming after Sofie when she kicks him out of the car in "Tipton" - then calmly repeating himself:
-->'''Ben:''' Crazy damn bitch!
-->[Car reverses.]
-->'''Sofie:''' What did you call me?
-->'''Ben:''' (''deadpan'') I called you a crazy damn bitch.
* From "Black Blizzard":
-->'''Lila:''' Jonesy? That boy don't squat unless Sampson says "shit".
-->[[GilliganCut Cut to:]]
-->'''Sampson:''' ''Shit!''
-->'''Ben:''' Crazy damn bitch!
-->[Car reverses.]
-->'''Sofie:''' What did you call me?
-->'''Ben:''' (''deadpan'') I called you a crazy damn bitch.
* From "Black Blizzard":
-->'''Lila:''' Jonesy? That boy don't squat unless Sampson says "shit".
-->[[GilliganCut Cut to:]]
-->'''Sampson:''' ''Shit!''
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Changed line(s) 5 (click to see context) from:
-->"They have ''cars''!"
to:
-->"They have ''cars''!"''cars''!"
* The lengths the carnies go to in order to invent shows can be pretty funny. Further, Stumpy's sales pitch for every cootch show is based on hyping the event by exaggerating it, while going by whatever theme is on that night. Some of the things Stumpy slaps together are pretty chuckle-worthy.
* The lengths the carnies go to in order to invent shows can be pretty funny. Further, Stumpy's sales pitch for every cootch show is based on hyping the event by exaggerating it, while going by whatever theme is on that night. Some of the things Stumpy slaps together are pretty chuckle-worthy.
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Changed line(s) 4 (click to see context) from:
* Ruthie's freakout when she sees [[spoiler: Stroud kidnap Scudder]] and she thinks she's still seeing ghosts.
to:
* Ruthie's freakout when she sees [[spoiler: Stroud kidnap Scudder]] and she thinks she's still seeing ghosts.ghosts.
-->"They have ''cars''!"
-->"They have ''cars''!"
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Changed line(s) 3 (click to see context) from:
* The "Fireball Show" in "Insomnia" where Stumpy successfully shows the crowd a Man Eating Chicken. The reactions on the crowd are just priceless
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* The "Fireball Show" in "Insomnia" where Stumpy successfully shows the crowd a Man Eating Chicken. The reactions on the crowd are just pricelesspriceless
* Ruthie's freakout when she sees [[spoiler: Stroud kidnap Scudder]] and she thinks she's still seeing ghosts.
* Ruthie's freakout when she sees [[spoiler: Stroud kidnap Scudder]] and she thinks she's still seeing ghosts.
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* Justin and Iris's hilariously pedantic and cliched argument in "After the Ball is Over" - Justin's still fixated on both his weird dreams and [[spoiler: perving on his sister in the shower]] and Iris calls him out on not hearing a word she's just said. His stammered response consists of "is that a new dress?"
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* The moment in the pilot that shows off Ben's ButtMonkey status - he wakes up with no clothes, has to wear a women's silky bathrobe, goes out and bumps into the Carnivale's Giant, is knocked into a puddle of mud and horseshit, and to top it all off, Jonesy makes kissy faces and mocks him in front of everyone.
