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* The "cocksucker" argument between Crash and an umpire, which is bad for the Bulls but hilarious to watch. Crash gets mad at the umpire and says he made "a cocksucking call" (Crash tagged the other team's player out and the ump called it "safe"). The umpire spins around and gets in his face about whether Crash is "calling me a cocksucker". Crash initially denies it, insisting he said the ump made a cocksucking call, the ump doesn't listen and continues demanding to know if Crash is calling him a cocksucker, then Crash starts ''taunting'' him that he's ''begging'' to be called a cocksucker, and then he ''does'' call him a cocksucker to his face and gets thrown out of the game. Sold by the color commentary moments later:
-->'''Teddy:''' ''(over the radio)'' I've never seen Crash so angry and frankly, Bull fans, [[NarrativeProfanityFilter he used a certain word that's a "no-no" with umpires]].\\
'''Milly:''' Crash musta called the guy a cocksucker.\\
'''Annie:''' God, he's so romantic...
-->'''Teddy:''' ''(over the radio)'' I've never seen Crash so angry and frankly, Bull fans, [[NarrativeProfanityFilter he used a certain word that's a "no-no" with umpires]].\\
'''Milly:''' Crash musta called the guy a cocksucker.\\
'''Annie:''' God, he's so romantic...
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Changed line(s) 43 (click to see context) from:
* The reveal of how the Durham Bulls' announcers actually broadcast away games: they have someone at the game call in and reveal what happens and then provide the appropriate sound effects like an old radio play in the studio.
to:
* The reveal of how the Durham Bulls' announcers actually broadcast away games: they have someone at the game call in and reveal what happens and then provide the appropriate sound effects like an old radio play in the studio.[[note]] TruthInTelevision at the time; many radio stations and teams couldn't afford to send broadcasters to away games, so they translated a phone summary into a full commentary. Legend holds that when UsefulNotes/RonaldReagan was a young sportscaster and was commentating on a baseball game using this technique, his phone summary of the middle of the game didn't come through, so he simply claimed the batter was hitting foul balls non-stop for half an hour until he finally received an update.[[/note]]
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Changed line(s) 42 (click to see context) from:
* The means by which Crash gets the team a rainout for the following day, and seeing Kevin Costner act like a three-year-old kid on the Slip 'n Slide.
to:
* The means by which Crash gets the team a rainout for the following day, and seeing Kevin Costner act like a three-year-old kid on the Slip 'n Slide.Slide.
* The reveal of how the Durham Bulls' announcers actually broadcast away games: they have someone at the game call in and reveal what happens and then provide the appropriate sound effects like an old radio play in the studio.
* The reveal of how the Durham Bulls' announcers actually broadcast away games: they have someone at the game call in and reveal what happens and then provide the appropriate sound effects like an old radio play in the studio.
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Changed line(s) 11 (click to see context) from:
(to the batter) Charlie, here comes the Deuce. And when you speak of me, speak well.
to:
(to the batter) Charlie, here comes the Deuce. And when you speak of me, speak well.\\
(making it funnier, ''this'' hitter is as much a vet as Crash, and just grins.)
(making it funnier, ''this'' hitter is as much a vet as Crash, and just grins.)
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--> '''Crash:''' I don't know where they're gonna go. Swear to God. <offscreen EvilLaugh>
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Changed line(s) 6 (click to see context) from:
'''Larry''': Okay, well, uh... [[CrowningMomentOfFunny Candlesticks always make a nice gift]], and uh, maybe you could find out where she's registered, and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern. (nods) Okay, let's get two!
to:
'''Larry''': Okay, well, uh... [[CrowningMomentOfFunny [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments Candlesticks always make a nice gift]], and uh, maybe you could find out where she's registered, and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern. (nods) Okay, let's get two!
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Changed line(s) 5 (click to see context) from:
'''Crash''': We're dealing with a lot of shit.\\
to:
'''Crash''': [[SeriousBusiness We're dealing with a lot of shit.shit]].\\
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Changed line(s) 9 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Crash''' (talking aloud to both batter and umpire): This son of a bitch is throwing a two-hit shutout. He's ''shaking me off''. You believe that shit?\\
to:
Changed line(s) 13 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Crash:''' Boy, that thing got out of here in a hurry. You'd think anything that flies ''that'' far oughta have a damn stewardess on it!
to:
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Changed line(s) 39 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Skip:''' Well, what do we need a ''scoreboard'' for? We haven't scored any runs all year!
to:
--> '''Skip:''' Well, what do we need a ''scoreboard'' for? We haven't scored any runs all year!year!
* The means by which Crash gets the team a rainout for the following day, and seeing Kevin Costner act like a three-year-old kid on the Slip 'n Slide.
* The means by which Crash gets the team a rainout for the following day, and seeing Kevin Costner act like a three-year-old kid on the Slip 'n Slide.
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Changed line(s) 37 (click to see context) from:
--> ''Skip:''' Oh. Millie. Sorry, I didn't recognize you. Uh, don't take this personally, Millie, but if I see you in here again, you're banned from the ballpark.
to:
--> ''Skip:''' '''Skip:''' Oh. Millie. Sorry, I didn't recognize you. Uh, don't take this personally, Millie, but if I see you in here again, you're banned from the ballpark.
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Changed line(s) 33 (click to see context) from:
* "The rose goes in the front, big guy."
to:
* "The rose goes in the front, big guy.""
* The day of Nuke's first start, Skip finds him in the locker room having sex with Millie.
--> '''Skip:''' Your first professional start, and you're leaving your arm in the locker room for some piece of ass!
--> '''Millie:''' Skip! It is ''me!'' I am not some, quote, piece of ass, unquote.
--> ''Skip:''' Oh. Millie. Sorry, I didn't recognize you. Uh, don't take this personally, Millie, but if I see you in here again, you're banned from the ballpark.
--> '''Millie:''' You can't ban me from the ballpark 'cuz my daddy donated that scoreboard, and if you ban me, he might just take that scoreboard away!
--> '''Skip:''' Well, what do we need a ''scoreboard'' for? We haven't scored any runs all year!
* The day of Nuke's first start, Skip finds him in the locker room having sex with Millie.
--> '''Skip:''' Your first professional start, and you're leaving your arm in the locker room for some piece of ass!
--> '''Millie:''' Skip! It is ''me!'' I am not some, quote, piece of ass, unquote.
--> ''Skip:''' Oh. Millie. Sorry, I didn't recognize you. Uh, don't take this personally, Millie, but if I see you in here again, you're banned from the ballpark.
--> '''Millie:''' You can't ban me from the ballpark 'cuz my daddy donated that scoreboard, and if you ban me, he might just take that scoreboard away!
--> '''Skip:''' Well, what do we need a ''scoreboard'' for? We haven't scored any runs all year!
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Changed line(s) 32 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Nuke:''' No, man, we didn't fuck. She read ''poetry'' to me all night; it was more ''tiring'' than fucking.
to:
--> '''Nuke:''' No, man, we didn't fuck. She read ''poetry'' to me all night; it was more ''tiring'' than fucking.fucking.
* "The rose goes in the front, big guy."
* "The rose goes in the front, big guy."
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Changed line(s) 28 (click to see context) from:
* During a game in which Nuke is cruising through the other team's lineup, Crash meets him at the mound and tells him to throw the next pitch at the bull mascot. Nuke doesn't understand the instruction, but does as he's told, and it turns out Crash made him do that just to make the other team think he's crazy and stop crowding the plate.
to:
* During a game in which Nuke is cruising through the other team's lineup, Crash meets him at the mound and tells him to throw the next pitch at the bull mascot. Nuke doesn't understand the instruction, but does as he's told, and it turns out Crash made him do that just to make the other team think he's crazy and stop crowding the plate.plate.
* The night after Nuke spends the night at Annie's house, Larry (assuming he slept with her) tells him that that's great; he's gonna have a good year.
--> '''Larry:''' So, is she as good as they say?
--> ''[beat]''
--> '''Nuke:''' No, man, we didn't fuck. She read ''poetry'' to me all night; it was more ''tiring'' than fucking.
* The night after Nuke spends the night at Annie's house, Larry (assuming he slept with her) tells him that that's great; he's gonna have a good year.
--> '''Larry:''' So, is she as good as they say?
--> ''[beat]''
--> '''Nuke:''' No, man, we didn't fuck. She read ''poetry'' to me all night; it was more ''tiring'' than fucking.
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Changed line(s) 7 (click to see context) from:
* Early on in the mentoring, Nuke shakes off Crash's call-sign. So Crash tells the batter which pitch is coming. The batter hits a home run. Crash then ''yells at the batter for just standing there'' and showing off ("Run, dummy!") before going back to the mound to let Nuke know exactly what he did. ("Boy, he really knocked the ''shit'' out of that one, didn't he? You'd think anything that flies ''that'' far oughta have a damn stewardess on it!")
to:
* Early on in the mentoring, Nuke shakes off Crash's call-sign. So Crash tells the batter which pitch is coming. The batter hits a home run. Crash then ''yells at the batter for just standing there'' and showing off ("Run, dummy!") before going back to the mound to let Nuke know exactly what he did. ("Boy, he really knocked the ''shit'' out of that one, didn't he? You'd think anything that flies ''that'' far oughta have a damn stewardess on it!")he?")
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** And after the home run:
-->'''Crash:''' Boy, that thing got out of here in a hurry. You'd think anything that flies ''that'' far oughta have a damn stewardess on it!
-->'''Crash:''' Boy, that thing got out of here in a hurry. You'd think anything that flies ''that'' far oughta have a damn stewardess on it!
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Changed line(s) 25 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Crash:''' How come nobody ever says they were Joe Schmo?
to:
--> '''Crash:''' How come nobody ever says they were Joe Schmo?Schmo?
* During a game in which Nuke is cruising through the other team's lineup, Crash meets him at the mound and tells him to throw the next pitch at the bull mascot. Nuke doesn't understand the instruction, but does as he's told, and it turns out Crash made him do that just to make the other team think he's crazy and stop crowding the plate.
* During a game in which Nuke is cruising through the other team's lineup, Crash meets him at the mound and tells him to throw the next pitch at the bull mascot. Nuke doesn't understand the instruction, but does as he's told, and it turns out Crash made him do that just to make the other team think he's crazy and stop crowding the plate.
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* In his last game with the Bulls, Nuke pitches like shit because he's got nerves, pitching in front of his dad for the first time. Crash sets him straight: "Hey, he's your old man; he's just as full of shit as anyone else!"
* After their first night of lovemaking, Crash and Annie have a conversation about past lives. Annie thinks that with her love of four-legged creatures, in a past life she was probably Catherine the Great or Francis of Assisi.
--> '''Crash:''' How come in former lifetimes, everybody is someone famous?
--> ''[a beat, then both start laughing]''
--> '''Crash:''' How come nobody ever says they were Joe Schmo?
* After their first night of lovemaking, Crash and Annie have a conversation about past lives. Annie thinks that with her love of four-legged creatures, in a past life she was probably Catherine the Great or Francis of Assisi.
--> '''Crash:''' How come in former lifetimes, everybody is someone famous?
--> ''[a beat, then both start laughing]''
--> '''Crash:''' How come nobody ever says they were Joe Schmo?
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Changed line(s) 7 (click to see context) from:
* Early on in the mentoring, Nuke shakes off Crash's call-sign. So Crash tells the batter which pitch is coming. The batter hits a home run. Crash then ''yells at the batter for just standing there'' and showing off ("Run, dummy!") before going back to the mound to let Nuke know exactly what he did.
to:
* Early on in the mentoring, Nuke shakes off Crash's call-sign. So Crash tells the batter which pitch is coming. The batter hits a home run. Crash then ''yells at the batter for just standing there'' and showing off ("Run, dummy!") before going back to the mound to let Nuke know exactly what he did. ("Boy, he really knocked the ''shit'' out of that one, didn't he? You'd think anything that flies ''that'' far oughta have a damn stewardess on it!")
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Changed line(s) 12,13 (click to see context) from:
* The "Lollygaggers" rant by the coach, trying to scare his young team (off of Crash's advice) into playing better.
to:
* The "Lollygaggers" rant by the coach, trying coach.
-->'''Skip''': You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down toscare first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry!\\
'''Larry''': Lollygaggers!\\
'''Skip''': Lollygaggers. What's our record, Larry?\\
'''Larry''': Eight and sixteen.\\
'''Skip''': Eight... and sixteen. How'd we ever win eight?\\
'''Larry''': It's a miracle!\\
'''Skip''' (sarcastic nod): It's a miracle. This... is a simple game. You throw the ball! You hit the ball! You catch the ball!
* At the beginning, when Crash finds out he's been sent ''down'' in the farm system amongst the rookies, he gets frustrated enough to quit. About two minutes of ranting to himself outside the coach's office, he pokes hisyoung team (off of Crash's advice) into playing better.
head back in. "Who do we play tomorrow?"
-->'''Skip''': You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to
'''Larry''': Lollygaggers!\\
'''Skip''': Lollygaggers. What's our record, Larry?\\
'''Larry''': Eight and sixteen.\\
'''Skip''': Eight... and sixteen. How'd we ever win eight?\\
'''Larry''': It's a miracle!\\
'''Skip''' (sarcastic nod): It's a miracle. This... is a simple game. You throw the ball! You hit the ball! You catch the ball!
* At the beginning, when Crash finds out he's been sent ''down'' in the farm system amongst the rookies, he gets frustrated enough to quit. About two minutes of ranting to himself outside the coach's office, he pokes his
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Changed line(s) 9 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Crash''' (talking aloud to both batter and umpire): Can you believe this? Working a two-hit shutout and he's shaking me off!\\
to:
-->'''Crash''' (talking aloud to both batter and umpire): Can you believe this? Working This son of a bitch is throwing a two-hit shutout and he's shaking shutout. He's ''shaking me off!\\off''. You believe that shit?\\
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Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
* After a weeks-long winning streak, the team is stressing out over a ton of issues and they all gather on the pitcher's mound to figure out what the hell they're doing. Manager Riggins sends the pitching coach (Robert Wuhl) to the mound to get the players settled down:
to:
* After a weeks-long winning streak, the team is stressing out over a ton of issues and they all gather on the pitcher's mound to figure out what the hell they're doing. Manager Coach Riggins sends the pitching coach (Robert Wuhl) to the mound to get the players settled down:
Changed line(s) 6 (click to see context) from:
'''Larry''': Okay, well, uh... [[CrowingMomentOfFunny Candlesticks always make a nice gift]], and uh, maybe you could find out where she's registered, and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern. (nods) Okay, let's get two!
to:
'''Larry''': Okay, well, uh... [[CrowingMomentOfFunny [[CrowningMomentOfFunny Candlesticks always make a nice gift]], and uh, maybe you could find out where she's registered, and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern. (nods) Okay, let's get two!
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* The "Lollygaggers" rant by the coach, trying to scare his young team (off of Crash's advice) into playing better.
