History Funny / BloodRites

* Murphy yet again mocking Harry's chivalry. While talking to her over the phone about Arturo Genosa, Harry is reluctant to say any words related to a certain female body part, rationalizing "A gentleman just doesn't say some words in front of a lady." That doesn't stop him from holding the phone with his shoulder and gesturing despite her not being in the room. Murphy is only too happy to disabuse him of his notion.

'''Harry''': Give me your gun.\\
'''Thomas''': Why?\\
'''Harry''': So the next time you start talking, I can shoot your wise ass.

* After Thomas tells Harry they're half-brothers and he refuses to believe him, he and Harry get into a minor fight and the former gets the latter in an armlock and Harry responds by sinking his teeth into the offending arm. That's the point where you stop reading for a second to appreciate the fact that yes, Harry Dresden did just ''[[{{Irony}} bite a vampire]]''.

* It was quite ironic Harry addressed Thomas as kid [[spoiler: before he's revealed to be his older half brother]].
* Prior to that reveal, here's Harry's brief summary of why he and Thomas get along so well:
--> Thomas was an annoying wiseass who tended to make everyone he met want to kill him, and when I have that much in common with someone, I can't help but like him a little.

''I wasn't even going to touch that one.''

-->'''Bobby''': Who the hell are you?\\
'''Harry''': I the hell am Harry.

-->'''Harry''': ''(to Jake)'' He thought I was a ''stunt penis?
** Also from the same conversation:
-->'''Bobby''': Are you always a smart-ass?\\
'''Harry''': No. Sometimes I'm asleep.

-->Now that he wasn't threatening violence, I could see that this kid was a jewel. He could potentially provide some lucky wiseass with straight lines for the rest of his natural life, and you can't put a price on that.
* Murphy mocking Harry's chivalry. While talking to her over the phone about Arturo Genosa, Harry is reluctant to say any words related to a certain female body part, rationalizing "A gentleman just doesn't say some words in front of a lady." That doesn't stop him from holding the phone with his shoulder and gesturing despite her not being in the room. Murphy is only too happy to disabuse him of his notion.
-->'''Harry''': He doesn't believe in using [[FakeBoobs surgically altered... uh... You know]].\\
'''Murphy''': ''(brightly)'' Boobs? Jugs? Hooters? Ya-yas?\\
'''Harry''': I guess.\\
'''Murphy''': Melons? Torpedoes? Tits? Gazongas? Knockers? Ta-tas?\\
'''Harry''': ''(incredibly embarrassed)'' Hell's ''bells,'' Murph!\\
'''Murphy''': ''(laughs)'' You're cute when you're embarrassed.

-->'''Murphy''': [[Music/GeorgeMichael Sex is natural, sex is good. Not everybody does it, but everybody should.]]\\
'''Harry''': ''I'm'' the wiseass, ''you're'' the cop. Respect my boundaries.

* The first meeting of Harry and Lara. After accepting a job for Thomas, he ended so pissed over the con that he decided to have a "talk" with him. Lara decided to intervene, using a pair of miniature guns and her glamour but it fails against Harry and after a second try:
-->'''Lara:''' [[OhCrap Empty night.]] You are [[TheDreaded Harry Dresden]].\\

'''Lara''': Why are you threatening my brother?\\
'''Harry''': It was a slow night and everyone else was busy.\\
'''Lara''': ''[[[ShutUpKirk casually shoots him in the ear]]]''
** At the start of the conversation, when she draws on him, Harry's first thought was that [[ArousedByTheirVoice her voice is hot]], and the second was wondering how Lara caught up to them so quickly in "do me" stiletto heels. His ''third'' thought was remembering that it would be bad to get shot.
** Lara [[ItMakesSenseInContext shoots Thomas]] and Harry manages to drive her off momentarily, and warns Thomas that they shouldn't move until they know where she is.
-->'''Thomas''': [[SarcasmMode That'll get her. The old sitting duck ploy.]]\\

* This ''amazing'' comment about Murphy and her motorcycle.
-->'''Harry:''' It's not my fault all women like motorcycles, Murph. They're basically huge vibrators. With wheels.
** Later, after Harry and Murphy survive jousting with a limo on her bike, Murphy is laughing hysterically.
-->'''Harry:''' What? Why are you laughing?\\

* Harry's completely irrelevant question right before they all go up against Mavra's scourge.
-->'''Kincaid:''' Any questions?\\
'''Harry:''' Why are hot dogs sold in packages of ten but hot dog ''buns'' are sold in packages of eight?\\
''(Kincaid, Murphy, and Ebenezar all glare at him)''

-->'''Harry''': (to Jake) He thought I was a ''stunt penis?''

-->'''Harry''': He doesn't believe in using [[GagBoobs surgically altered... uh... You know]].\\

* [[invoked]] With two injured people (one with a gunshot wound) and a dead body on the scene, [[LawfulEvil Lara]] wants to cover up the situation and [[LawfulGood Murphy]] wants to call the police despite the time crunch, looking to [[ChaoticGood Harry]] to break the tie.

* Harry looking over Kincaid's vampire-slaying arsenal. After comparing his SimpleStaff to Kincaid's awesome high-tech explosive polearm:

-->[[StunnedSilence Everyone stopped to blink at]] ''[[StunnedSilence that]]'' [[StunnedSilence for a second.]] I mean, come on. Impaled by a guided frozen turkey missile. Even by the standards of the quasi-immortal creatures of the night, [[DidntSeeThatComing that ain't something you see twice.]]\\

* After Thomas tells Harry they're half-brothers and he refuses to believe him, he and Harry get into a minor fight and the former gets the latter in an armlock and Harry responds by sinking his teeth into the offending arm. That's the point where you stop reading for a second to appreciate the fact that yes, Harry Dresden [[StealthPun did]] [[VisualPun just]] ''[[{{Irony}} bite a vampire]]''.

* [[ActionGirl Murphy]] commenting that she's feeling repressed, stuck fulfilling the DamselInDistress stereotype. [[DidYouJustFlipOffCthulhu Then she calls Lord Raith a little prick.]]

* It was quite an irony Harry addressed Thomas as kid [[spoiler: before he's revealed to be his older brother]]

* "Ah, yes, the [[http://www.wikia.com/wiki/c:muppet:Crazy_Harry Bolshevik Muppet]] solution." Doubles as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome and BrickJoke when Harry yells "Bolshevik Muppet!" to alert Kincaid just before setting off the land mine - especially since Kincaid ''immediately'' understands and reacts appropriately.

-->[[FreudWasRight "My dick is bigger than your dick,"]] I said.

* Murphy's reaction to Harry calling Ebenezar "Sir." Namely, she [[DramaticDrop drops her change of clothes]], turns to him in undisguised shock, and whispers ''Sir?"'' to a now-embarrassed Harry.