History Funny / BlackBooks

25th Oct '17 3:27:00 AM outlander2012
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-->'''Bernard''': Right the shop is closed, everybody get out!
-->'''Customer''': But it's only quarter to three!
-->'''Bernard''': [[ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem Yes, but it's ''my'' shop]]!
11th Jul '17 5:55:53 AM LentilSandEater
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** The BilingualBonus immediately before it had this Irish troper in stitches.
17th Apr '17 5:38:06 AM GentleMart
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--->I live alone in a tree.
--->I live alone in a tree.
--->I live alone in a tree.
--->And nobody loves me.
6th Dec '16 4:52:25 AM DoctorNemesis
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--> “I wouldn’t apologise to you if you were the last person left on earth, the earth was on fire, I was starving, and you had magical fire extinguisher breath and sleeves that shot out crisps“

to:

--> “I wouldn’t apologise to you if you were the last person left on earth, the earth was on fire, I was starving, and you had magical fire extinguisher breath and sleeves that shot out crisps“crisps“
* As part of a (rare) promotion the shop is doing, Manny is reluctantly dressed as a large bookworm reading an insufferably saccharine story about a rabbit to a bunch of obnoxious children. Eventually, he gets up to protest to Bernard, leading to this little exchange:
-->'''Child:''' ''[Obnoxiously]'' You haven't finished, worm! What happened to the rabbit?!\\
'''Manny:''' ''[Beyond fed-up]'' He... starved to death. The end.
10th Oct '16 11:47:13 AM abalam
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--->I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you, Eileen Beaug, but leave us alone now for the minute.
10th Jul '16 3:32:28 PM ArkhamCity2525
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** And from the episode, Bernard's "lollipop". (A bottle of wine that Bernard has frozen, then smashes against the wall to break the glass bottle and starts eating the rest like an icy pole.)

to:

** And from the episode, Bernard's "lollipop". (A bottle of wine with a stick in it that Bernard has frozen, then smashes against the wall to break the glass bottle and starts eating the rest like an icy pole.)
15th Jun '16 5:53:06 AM waymu
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* Bernard's EstablishingCharacterMoment from the first episode - right after commenting on what a strange person Fran is, [[HypocriticalHumor he grabs a megaphone]] [[GetOut and arbitrarily orders everyone out of the shop.]] While pushing them with a broom.

to:

* Bernard's EstablishingCharacterMoment from the first episode - right after commenting on what a strange person Fran Manny is, [[HypocriticalHumor he grabs a megaphone]] [[GetOut and arbitrarily orders everyone out of the shop.]] While pushing them with a broom.
24th Mar '16 7:57:14 AM GentleMart
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* The fact that Mr Slvanski's father and grandfather are still alive and look exactly like him.

to:

* The fact that Mr Slvanski's father and grandfather grandfather, the latter of whom was [[UsefulNotes/TsarTsarAutocrats Nicholas II's]] teacher, are still alive and look exactly like him.
11th Mar '16 6:55:43 AM Klamath
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-->'''Bernard:''' I'd love to talk about Jesus! What's he up to these days?
29th Feb '16 1:55:02 PM Diem
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* From a deleted scene, Bernard refuses to apologize to Manny:
--> “I wouldn’t apologise to you if you were the last person left on earth, the earth was on fire, I was starving, and you had magical fire extinguisher breath and sleeves that shot out crisps“
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.BlackBooks