History Funny / ArtemisFowl

28th May '18 6:23:50 AM MasterFuzzy
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* Trouble, knowing Holly's nature, gives her a direct order to stay where she is and do nothing, ''not'' to investigate the current mystery, and most especially not to do so with the criminal Artemis Fowl. Artemis wonders whether he even expects this order to be obeyed, before Holly explains that he's just covering his bases with his superiors.

to:

* Trouble, knowing Holly's nature, gives her a direct order to stay where she is and do nothing, ''not'' to investigate the current mystery, and most especially not to do so with the criminal Artemis Fowl. Artemis wonders whether he even expects this order to be obeyed, before Holly explains that he's just covering his bases with his superiors.superiors.
* Apparently, [[NoodleIncident Holly and Trouble went on a disastrous date where they were kicked out of a crunchball match]]. One wonders just what they were doing...
* In a short story, Holly (pre-LEP) is wearing a traffic vest which shows her vocal commands. Unfortunately, she runs into a wave of gel, which shorts out the suit. Her last word, just before the gel hit, was "D'Arvit." And then she gets summoned to meet with Commander Root. Just imagine going to a job interview with a swear word written on your chest.
8th May '18 11:40:05 AM Viira
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* In a short story, Holly is undergoing the LEP recruitment trial, and she has to either avoid Commander Root for a full 24 hours, or else shoot him (with a paintball gun) before he shoots her. Unfortunately, while she's being hunted, there's a fiasco involving Turnball Root, and the mission goes sideways. Holly only saves the day by being her usual CowboyCop self, earning herself a chewing out from the commander. At the end, Root asks if she has anything left to do before she gets fired. [[RefugeInAudacity She pulls out her paintball gun and shoots him in the chest]].

to:

* In a short story, Holly is undergoing the LEP recruitment trial, and she has to either avoid Commander Root for a full 24 hours, or else shoot him (with a paintball gun) before he shoots her. Unfortunately, while she's being hunted, there's a fiasco involving Turnball Root, and the mission goes sideways. Holly only saves the day by being her usual CowboyCop self, earning herself a chewing out from the commander. At the end, Root asks if she has anything left gives her one final chance to do before she gets fired.convince him not to flunk her. [[RefugeInAudacity She pulls out her paintball gun and shoots him in the chest]].
10th Mar '18 5:28:36 AM outlander2012
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Added DiffLines:

* Jon Spiro in his inner monologue missing the days before employment regulations:
--> Sometimes Spiro missed the good old days when you could [[DestinationDefenestration throw a troublesome employee out of a high window]] and be done with it. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down.
10th Feb '18 10:52:59 PM Twiddler
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--> "Any first-day chemistry student could have told Ragby never to put sparks near a mystery gas. Unfortunately, Ragby had never met any first-day chemistry students, so it came as a complete suprise when the gas passed by Mulch Diggums ignited, in a chain of miniature explosions."

to:

--> "Any first-day chemistry student could have told Ragby never to put sparks near a mystery gas. Unfortunately, Ragby had never met any first-day chemistry students, so it came as a complete suprise surprise when the gas passed by Mulch Diggums ignited, in a chain of miniature explosions."
1st Dec '17 11:17:50 AM MasterFuzzy
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* We should make a bivouac.

to:

* We [[RunningGag "We should make a bivouac."]]



--> "Any first-day chemistry student could have told Ragby never to put sparks near a mystery gas. Unfortunately, Ragby had never met any first-day chemistry students, so it came as a complete suprise when the gas passed by Mulch Diggums ignited, in a chain of miniature explosions."

to:

--> "Any first-day chemistry student could have told Ragby never to put sparks near a mystery gas. Unfortunately, Ragby had never met any first-day chemistry students, so it came as a complete suprise when the gas passed by Mulch Diggums ignited, in a chain of miniature explosions.""
* Trouble, knowing Holly's nature, gives her a direct order to stay where she is and do nothing, ''not'' to investigate the current mystery, and most especially not to do so with the criminal Artemis Fowl. Artemis wonders whether he even expects this order to be obeyed, before Holly explains that he's just covering his bases with his superiors.
25th Oct '17 6:10:24 AM MasterFuzzy
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* "[[IllKillYou I'LL KILL YOU!]] YOU'LL BE MY NEXT TATTOO! YOU'LL BE MY NEXT TATTOO!"

to:

* "[[IllKillYou I'LL KILL YOU!]] YOU'LL BE MY NEXT TATTOO! YOU'LL BE MY NEXT TATTOO!"TATTOO!"
* In a short story, Holly is undergoing the LEP recruitment trial, and she has to either avoid Commander Root for a full 24 hours, or else shoot him (with a paintball gun) before he shoots her. Unfortunately, while she's being hunted, there's a fiasco involving Turnball Root, and the mission goes sideways. Holly only saves the day by being her usual CowboyCop self, earning herself a chewing out from the commander. At the end, Root asks if she has anything left to do before she gets fired. [[RefugeInAudacity She pulls out her paintball gun and shoots him in the chest]].
* Eoin Colfer's LampshadeHanging can often be quite funny. Examples include:
** Foaly noting Holly's CowboyCop nature:
-->'''Holly:''' Are you implying that I occasionally stray from the rulebook?
-->'''Foaly:''' I'm implying that you don't ''own'' a copy of the rulebook, and if you do, you've certainly never opened it.
-->'''Holly:''' ...Fair point.
* At another point, Colfer has one of the best lampshades of the IdiotBall ''ever'':
--> "Any first-day chemistry student could have told Ragby never to put sparks near a mystery gas. Unfortunately, Ragby had never met any first-day chemistry students, so it came as a complete suprise when the gas passed by Mulch Diggums ignited, in a chain of miniature explosions."
19th Oct '17 1:32:12 AM LentilSandEater
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* "[[LameComeback ...I don't like lollipops...]]"

to:

* After spending the whole of the first novel always getting the last word in any banter, Holly finally beats him to the punch and all Artemis can come out with is "[[LameComeback ...I don't like lollipops...]]"
22nd Sep '17 1:55:50 PM Moonstreak
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--> '''Trouble Kelp:''' ''Sir'' no, is it? Your ''exact'' words were, and I quote --obviously, since they are your exact words-- you said that Artemis Fowl was "crazier than a salt-water-drinking troll with ringworm."\\

to:

--> '''Trouble Kelp:''' ''Sir'' no, now, is it? Your ''exact'' words were, and I quote --obviously, -- obviously, since they are your exact words-- words -- you said that Artemis Fowl was "crazier than a salt-water-drinking troll with ringworm."\\
22nd Sep '17 1:55:04 PM Moonstreak
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-->Holly: So... you're saying that Shelly is going to ''light a fart''?
-->Foaly: No, I'm saying that Shelly is going to light '''THE''' fart!

to:

-->Holly: -->'''Holly:''' So... you're saying that Shelly is going to ''light a fart''?
-->Foaly: -->'''Foaly:''' No, I'm saying that Shelly is going to light '''THE''' fart!
22nd Sep '17 1:54:06 PM Moonstreak
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'''Pex:''' Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us...all those things.\\

to:

'''Pex:''' Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us... all those things.\\
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.ArtemisFowl