History FootInYourAss / That70sShow

9th Jun '17 11:15:01 AM ryanasaurus0077
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-->'''Red''': No, it's more of a vast inventory of love.\\'''Kitty''': Well, you're about to get a vast inventory of ''my foot in your ass.'' Yeah, I can do that, too!

to:

-->'''Red''': No, it's more of a vast inventory of love.\\'''Kitty''': \\
'''Kitty''':
Well, you're about to get a vast inventory of ''my foot in your ass.'' Yeah, I can do that, too!
8th Jun '17 7:59:20 PM ryanasaurus0077
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-->'''Eric''': You know, with all this time away, I almost forgot you're a hot mom.\\

to:

-->'''Eric''': -->'''Kelso''': You know, with all this time away, I almost forgot you're a hot mom.\\
8th Jun '17 7:54:30 PM ryanasaurus0077
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'''Red''': The Millennium ''what''? If that's a ''Franchise/StarWars'' thing, I'm going to kick you in the ass.

to:

'''Red''': The Millennium ''what''? If that's a ''Franchise/StarWars'' thing, I'm going to gonna kick you in the ass.



-->'''Bob''': Well, I guess the truth hurts.\\
'''Red''': So does a swift kick in the ass.

to:

-->'''Bob''': -->'''Red''': Well, that's kinda stupid, Bob.\\
'''Bob''':
Well, I guess the truth hurts.\\
'''Red''': So does a swift kick in the ass.\\
'''Bob''': All right, I'm going. But a swift kick in the ass is not the solution to everything, Forman!\\
'''Red''': I gotta disagree, Bob!



'''Red''': If I had mistle-foot, it'd be in your ass!\\

to:

'''Red''': If Yeah, well, if I had mistle-foot, it'd be in your ass!\\



-->'''Eric''': Hey... leggo my Eggo.
-->'''Red''': Hey... leggo my foot in your ass.

to:

-->'''Eric''': Hey... leggo my Eggo.
-->'''Red''':
Eggo.\\
'''Red''':
Hey... leggo my foot in your ass.



'''Red''': [[BluntHonesty It's free.]]

to:

'''Red''': [[BluntHonesty It's free.]]



* "You know we could call in a specialist to find my foot in your ass."

to:

* "You And Heaven help you if a-hunting you go while he's driving.
-->'''Kelso''': Hey, Red, don't freak out, but if I see a deer on the side of the road, I'm gonna shoot him.\\
'''Red''': Kelso, you fire that gun in this car, and I will pull over and kick your ass for an hour.
* Red doesn't appreciate the jokes about his heart problems, thank you very much.
-->'''Eric''': What took you guys so long at the heart doctor's? Oh, let me guess: you had to call in a specialist just to find Dad's tiny heart?\\
'''Red''': You
know we could call in a specialist to find my foot in your ass."\\
'''Hyde''': We're gonna need an [[BuffySpeak assfootologist]], stat.



-->'''Kitty''': We can help get you clean. There's counseling, hospitalization...
-->'''Red''': My foot kicking your ass.

to:

-->'''Kitty''': We can help get you clean. There's counseling, hospitalization...
-->'''Red''':
hospitalization...\\
'''Red''':
My foot kicking your ass.



-->'''Red''': Bend your knees and lift with your legs, or else I'm going to--
-->'''Eric''': Kick my ass, put your foot in my ass, make my ass a hat... Yeah, yeah, yeah...

to:

-->'''Red''': Bend Eric, bend your knees and lift with your legs, or else I'm going to--
-->'''Eric''':
to--\\
'''Eric''':
Kick my ass, put your foot in my ass, make my ass a hat... Yeah, yeah, yeah...\\
'''Red''': Jeez! And I didn't think you were listening...



* Sometimes, the old foot in the ass won't suffice, as Eric finds out once:
-->'''Eric''': OK, OK, I think we're forgetting about a time-tested punishment here. There's your foot. Here's my ass. Swing away.



'''Red''': Listen, hophead! I love that woman with a ''fiery passion''... that consumes my soul! ''That's right!'' So, you can either walk out of here on your own, or you can ''hop out of here with my Boot in your ass!''\\

to:

'''Red''': Listen, hophead! I love that woman with a ''fiery passion''... that consumes my soul! ''That's right!'' So, you can either either... walk out of here on your own, or you can ''hop out of here with my Boot boot in your ass!''\\



-->'''Red''': No, it's more of a vast inventory of love.
-->'''Kitty''': Well, you're about to get a vast inventory of ''my foot in your ass.'' Yeah, I can do that, too!

to:

-->'''Red''': No, it's more of a vast inventory of love.
-->'''Kitty''':
love.\\'''Kitty''': Well, you're about to get a vast inventory of ''my foot in your ass.'' Yeah, I can do that, too!



-->'''Kelso''': Mr. Forman, can I light this off in your house?
-->'''Red''': Sure, and then I'll light my foot off in your ass.

to:

-->'''Kelso''': Mr. Forman, can I light this off in your house?
-->'''Red''':
house?\\
'''Red''':
Sure, and then I'll light my foot off in your ass.



-->'''Kelso''': You know, with all this time away, I almost forgot you're a hot mom.
-->'''Red''': You know what else is hot? My foot when it's in your ass.

to:

-->'''Kelso''': -->'''Eric''': You know, with all this time away, I almost forgot you're a hot mom.
-->'''Red''':
mom.\\
'''Red''':
You know what else is hot? My foot when it's in your ass.



-->'''Hyde''': Have you ever actually done that with your foot?
-->'''Red''': [[spoiler:Once, on Iwo Jima. [[NoodleIncident I can't talk about it.]]]]

to:

-->'''Hyde''': Have you ever actually done that with your foot?
-->'''Red''':
foot?\\
'''Red''':
[[spoiler:Once, on Iwo Jima. [[NoodleIncident I can't talk about it.]]]]
8th Jun '17 7:21:31 PM ryanasaurus0077
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* And it ain't just the Jedi Order, either!
-->'''Red''': All you had to do was build a cabin out of Lincoln Logs.\\
'''Eric''': Well, I thought I'd score some extra points by building the Millennium Falcon.\\
'''Red''': The Millennium ''what''? If that's a ''Franchise/StarWars'' thing, I'm going to kick you in the ass.



* "Get under there or you're gonna get a spider the size of my foot in your ass!"

to:

* "Get Who knew household chores could be so creepy-crawly when he's in charge?
-->'''Red''': OK, get
under there the sink and loosen that disposal so we can get to the pipes.\\
'''Eric''': Under there? But it's all spidery!\\
'''Red''': Get under there,
or you're gonna get a spider the size of my foot in your ass!"ass!



* "How'd you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass?"
* "How bout I drive my foot into this thing called your ass?"

to:

* "How'd Red's got a great property deal for you, wise guy, and he's gonna make you an offer you can't refuse.
-->'''Bob''': I'm looking at the deed to the property and the map shows that I own a couple feet of your driveway and a little bit of your garage.\\
'''Red''': How would
you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass?"
ass?\\
'''Bob''': I wouldn't, to be quite honest.\\
'''Red''': [[BluntHonesty It's free.]]
* "How bout And if he catches you near his car?
-->'''Red''': Get away from my car!\\
'''Kelso''': Your car, my car... aren't we all just driving the same car? It's a car called life.\\
'''Red''': How about
I drive my foot into this thing called your ass?"ass?\\
'''Kelso''': A simple "no" would suffice.


Added DiffLines:

* Really, Eric has earned the Triple Crown of Ass Footings, with how quick he is to suggest to Red that he weaponize it.
-->'''Bob''': I need your help, Red. I gotta get Donna away from that guy!\\
'''Eric''': Oh! Dad, you know what's good? Threaten her with the old foot in the ass!
* And, of course, Hyde's assessment of Red's firing habits.
-->'''Hyde''': I've heard you fire a lot of people, and I've never heard you say, "I hope there's another job out there for you." You say, "I hope my foot doesn't get stuck in your ass." Or, "Don't let my foot get stuck in your ass on the way out the door." Or the classic, "I'm gonna stick my foot in your ass."


Added DiffLines:

* Or that he doesn't catch you red-handed--as in, with your hand stuck in a red vase:
-->'''Red''': What's going on?\\
'''Kelso''': Just a classic case of hand stuck in vase.\\
'''Red''': Well, get it off... or you'll have a classic case of foot stuck in ass!
* And don't even let him think you made your mom cry.
-->'''Red''': Oh, what did he do? ...I swear I'll kick his ass!
* Worse is if he catches you trying to make out with Kitty.
-->'''Red''': Leo, buddy, we gotta talk. You're getting me in a lot of trouble around here. Now, I'm begging you--\\
'''Kitty''': Who is it, Red?\\
''[Red is momentarily distracted before getting more urgent with Leo]''\\
'''Red''': Listen, hophead! I love that woman with a ''fiery passion''... that consumes my soul! ''That's right!'' So, you can either walk out of here on your own, or you can ''hop out of here with my Boot in your ass!''\\
'''Leo''': OK, I choose the one with ''nothing'' in my ass.\\
'''Red''': Good choice!
8th Jun '17 6:54:00 PM ryanasaurus0077
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* "I have a prank, too: one where my foot ''doesn't'' plow through your ass. Let's hope it doesn't go horribly! HORRIBLY! WRONG!"

to:

* "I Be careful that he doesn't step blindly into a prank you intended for someone else:
-->'''Eric''': Dad, this is just a prank that's gone wrong--horribly, horribly wrong!\\
'''Red''': Well, I
have a prank, too: one where my foot ''doesn't'' plow through your ass. Let's hope it doesn't go horribly! HORRIBLY! WRONG!"WRONG!
19th May '17 7:01:28 AM ryanasaurus0077
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Added DiffLines:

* Red knows the perfect solution to people getting other people lost on the road... if only he knew where to look.
-->'''Red''': I told him this was a stupid idea! And now, we're stuck out here in the middle of nowhere! My foot is shaking, it wants to kick his ass so bad!
11th Apr '17 5:48:47 PM ryanasaurus0077
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* "You morons just hung vacancy signs on your asses, and my foot's looking for a room!"
* "You drilled a hole in my floor! My foot is about to drill a hole in your ass!"

to:

* "You morons just hung vacancy signs You'd better ask his permission if you're going to install home electronics in his house in a manner that requires you to vandalize it on your asses, and my foot's looking for a room!"
* "You
the inside.
-->'''Red''': You
drilled a hole in my floor! My foot is about to drill a hole in your ass!"ass!



-->'''Bob''': Guess the truth hurts.\\

to:

-->'''Bob''': Guess Well, I guess the truth hurts.\\



* "Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs put their foot in your ass!"

to:

* "Good Red wants to wish you a good night in style:
-->'''Red''': Good
night, sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs put their foot in your ass!"ass!


Added DiffLines:

* Later, when he's chewing out Kelso and Fez as he and Kitty are executing a search-and-destroy operation on the aforementioned hard drugs:
-->'''Red''': You morons just hung vacancy signs on your asses, and my foot's looking for a room!
11th Apr '17 5:30:03 PM ryanasaurus0077
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* "You can go, but I'll be watching the news, and if anything is vandalized, or explodes, or catches on fire, X is gonna equal me kicking your ass."

to:

* "You A good, hard math lesson from Red:
-->'''Eric''': So, looks like I'm gonna spend the weekend with Kelso, tutor him in math.\\
'''Red''': Really?\\
'''Kitty''': Hmmm.\\
'''Red''': So, you're allegedly tutoring Kelso in math?\\
'''Eric''': Yes sir.\\
'''Kitty''': Are you good in math?\\
'''Red''': What's the square root of x?\\
'''Eric''': Um, I really can't answer that.\\
'''Red''': AHA!\\
'''Eric''': No, see, X is a variable, so until you define its parameter the only possible answer is the variable or x if you prefer.\\
'''Red''': Is that right?\\
'''Kitty''': Sounds good. Will Michael's parents be home?\\
'''Eric''': Yes.\\
'''Red''': Are they as dumb as he is?\\
'''Eric''': I can't lie. Yes. Yes, they are.\\
'''Red''': Right answer. ''[aside, to Kitty]'' That was a trick question, I know they're dumb.\\
'''Eric''': So, I can go?\\
'''Red''': You
can go, but I'll be watching the news, and if anything is gets vandalized, or explodes, or catches on fire, X is gonna equal me kicking your ass."ass.



* "I wish I had 2000 feet, So I could put 500 of them in each of your asses!"

to:

* "I Having just caught Eric and friends stoning, Red can barely control himself in his threat to kick their asses.
-->'''Red''': I
wish I had had! 2000 feet, FEET! So I could put 500 of them in them, ''in each of your asses!"asses!''
5th Apr '17 3:33:33 PM ElatedReynard
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* "Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs put their foot up your ass!"
* "I wish I had! 2000 feet! So I could put 500 of them in each of your asses!"

to:

* "Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs put their foot up in your ass!"
* "I wish I had! had 2000 feet! feet, So I could put 500 of them in each of your asses!"
30th Jul '16 4:59:18 PM ryanasaurus0077
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* "You have got to be the laziest non-Communist I've ever met, and you are about to read a book that my foot wrote: it's called ''On the Road to In Your Ass''."
* "If I were a younger, more flexible man, I'd shove my foot up my own ass."
* "If you ever do anything like that again, I will kick your ass so hard your nose will bleed!"
* "I'll be watching the news, and if anything is vandalized, or explodes, or catches on fire, X is gonna equal me kicking your ass."

to:

* "You This guy's got no appreciation for the classics:
-->'''Eric''': I've been reading the Jack Kerouac classic ''On The Road''. See, as I see it, why get out of bed when you can read about people who got out of bed?\\
'''Red''': You
have got to be the laziest non-Communist I've ever met, and you are about to read a book that my foot wrote: it's called ''On the Road to In Your Ass''."
Ass''.
* "If Even Red can turn this threat into SelfDeprecation:
-->'''Red''': Today was a total disaster. I didn't send one muffler, and I drew a dozen customers into the hands of my competition. If
I were a younger, more flexible man, I'd shove my foot up my own ass."
ass.
* "If Nothing upsets Red more than the smell of stoning:
-->'''Red''': Dumbass! Do you realize that you put your entire future at risk? What kind of a moron would go and take the fall for some little... Crying and crying and crying. When she's upset, I'm upset. And the next thing you know, I had to have tea with that greasy old hippie, and now I have hippie stink on my couch. Let me tell you something else: if
you ever do anything like that again, I will kick your ass so hard your nose will bleed!"
bleed!
* "I'll "You can go, but I'll be watching the news, and if anything is vandalized, or explodes, or catches on fire, X is gonna equal me kicking your ass."
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=FootInYourAss.That70sShow