History Fanfic / PRIMARCHS

21st Jan '16 2:46:39 AM USABobcat
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Shortly after this the original thread was closed due to the actions of an over-zealous mod, however a couple of folks on FF.net have begun re-posting Lastie's work, albeit without the forum-signature different colored text for Gods. Read the AWESOME and WIN [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5645987/1/PRIMARCHS here]] (complete, but single chapters) or [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5483979/1/PRIMARCHS_by_Lastie here]] (incomplete, 10 chapters at a go).

to:

Shortly after this the original thread was closed due to the actions of an over-zealous mod, however a couple of folks on FF.net have begun re-posting Lastie's work, albeit without the forum-signature different colored text for Gods. Read the AWESOME and WIN [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5645987/1/PRIMARCHS here]] (complete, but single chapters) or [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5483979/1/PRIMARCHS_by_Lastie here]] (incomplete, 10 chapters at a go).
here]].
1st Jul '15 4:42:58 PM nombretomado
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* {{Badass}}: Literally dozens of them trying to one-up each other throughout the story, but one deserves a special mention because his appearance prompted even [[GodModeSue Horus]] to raise an eyebrow - [[spoiler: Admiral Adama from the new Series/{{Battlestar Galactica|Reimagined}}]].

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* {{Badass}}: Literally dozens of them trying to one-up each other throughout the story, but one deserves a special mention because his appearance prompted even [[GodModeSue Horus]] to raise an eyebrow - [[spoiler: Admiral Adama from the new Series/{{Battlestar Galactica|Reimagined}}]].''Series/{{Battlestar Galactica|2003}}'']].
13th Apr '15 9:56:53 PM nombretomado
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But despite this SnapBack, this is not the end of the Primarchs' troubles, as evinced by a series of workers' strikes and by rebellion on Holy Terra itself. The Primarchs are baffled enough that worker's unions have even come to ''exist'' in their [[CrapsackWorld crapsack universe]], but it turns out they have been inspired by the LighterAndSofter ideals of Lion'el Jonson's ex-girlfriend Aerith. There follows another series of extremely random adventures, during which [[MagnificentBastard Eldrad]] goes so far as to enlist the help of {{Canon Foreigner}}s from other posters in Lastie's thread. It turns out that [[spoiler: Aerith is none other than the Plot Hole returned; while the Primarchs used fanon to plug the gaps in their main narrative, their satellite franchises are still rife with bad writing, allowing the Plot Hole to return at the head of the Blood Ravens from DawnOfWar.]] This revelation culminates in (yet another) UltimateShowdownOfUltimateDestiny. The third arc ends on a massive cliffhanger with [[spoiler: Eldrad screwing over the Primarchs at the last minute because one of the {{Canon Immigrant}}s refused to have sex with him, resulting in the Plot Hole's apparent victory and the Primarchs being scattered throughout time and space (and other franchises)]].

to:

But despite this SnapBack, this is not the end of the Primarchs' troubles, as evinced by a series of workers' strikes and by rebellion on Holy Terra itself. The Primarchs are baffled enough that worker's unions have even come to ''exist'' in their [[CrapsackWorld crapsack universe]], but it turns out they have been inspired by the LighterAndSofter ideals of Lion'el Jonson's ex-girlfriend Aerith. There follows another series of extremely random adventures, during which [[MagnificentBastard Eldrad]] goes so far as to enlist the help of {{Canon Foreigner}}s from other posters in Lastie's thread. It turns out that [[spoiler: Aerith is none other than the Plot Hole returned; while the Primarchs used fanon to plug the gaps in their main narrative, their satellite franchises are still rife with bad writing, allowing the Plot Hole to return at the head of the Blood Ravens from DawnOfWar.VideoGame/DawnOfWar.]] This revelation culminates in (yet another) UltimateShowdownOfUltimateDestiny. The third arc ends on a massive cliffhanger with [[spoiler: Eldrad screwing over the Primarchs at the last minute because one of the {{Canon Immigrant}}s refused to have sex with him, resulting in the Plot Hole's apparent victory and the Primarchs being scattered throughout time and space (and other franchises)]].



* AFateWorseThanDeath: Played for laughs in what various characters consider this to be. A common one is to have to read the DawnOfWar omnibus.

to:

* AFateWorseThanDeath: Played for laughs in what various characters consider this to be. A common one is to have to read the DawnOfWar VideoGame/DawnOfWar omnibus.



* WriterRevolt: The first arc revolves around the Primarchs rebelling against the constant retcons of their universe's background (primarily, the constant shoe-horning involving the C'tan). The second involves fighting the AnthropomorphicPersonification of the plot holes consuming their franchise. Unfortunately, despite [[spoiler: solving the problem by the simple expedient of pressing the ResetButton]] they [[spoiler: forgot to similarly reset their satellite franchises (such as DawnOfWar), allowing the Plot Hole to return]] in the third arc.

to:

* WriterRevolt: The first arc revolves around the Primarchs rebelling against the constant retcons of their universe's background (primarily, the constant shoe-horning involving the C'tan). The second involves fighting the AnthropomorphicPersonification of the plot holes consuming their franchise. Unfortunately, despite [[spoiler: solving the problem by the simple expedient of pressing the ResetButton]] they [[spoiler: forgot to similarly reset their satellite franchises (such as DawnOfWar), VideoGame/DawnOfWar), allowing the Plot Hole to return]] in the third arc.
17th Dec '14 7:54:48 PM nombretomado
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The P*R*I*M*A*R*C*H*S story begins with the titular {{super soldier}}s getting together in a pub in the Eye of Terror, and bemoaning the fact that they never get coverage in the official Games Workshop background any more. Uniting under their father the [[strike:Emperor]] [[AC:Emperor of Mankind!]], the dysfunctional family resolve to strike back at the forces of {{Retcon}} that are ruining their grimdark universe, and to do this by defeating the gratuitously-shoehorned C'tan and putting them back in their place. Things get worse, however, when they discover that the C'tan have nothing less than a full-blown GenreShift on their minds, and are planning to sell the [=40K=] franchise to another company who want to Japanify it into something more marketable to kids (cue cameo by Aerith of FinalFantasy fame, among others). By a VERY circuitous route, and picking up [[LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters many secondary characters]] along the way, the Primarchs eventually collect the {{Plot Coupon}}s they need to access the laptop of GW fluff-writer Alan Merrett. A final battle with the C'tan to decide the future of the [=40K=] franchise follows...

After the conclusion of the Retcon arc, the 18 canon Primarchs are reunited with their 2 missing siblings - [[TheSlacker Carl]], who was too lazy to lead his space marine legion in the Great Crusade, and [[LadyOfWar Hecate]], who was forcibly removed due to fan rage at the concept of female space marines. But a new threat looms, for despite the grimdark of their universe being restored, the constant retconning of background has left the franchise rife with inconsistencies. An EldritchAbomination known only as the Plot Hole is now invading - after chewing its way through other universes such as VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft, FinalFantasy, StarWars and Franchise/HarryPotter - and has an army of characters from these devoured franchises at its disposal. Martialing their own forces, the Primarchs meet the new enemy head on with all the subtlety you can expect from a team of {{God Mode Sue}}s. Highlights include time travel, Alpharius privatising the Tau Empire, and Horus hitting the Death Star with a baseball bat (yes, [[StarWars that]] Death Star). But against an enemy that can [[AssPull rewrite the story]] to its own advantage, how can the Primarchs prevail? Why, with [[ThisWiki the Tome of Tropes]] of course. Against a creature that devours {{canon}} (making Alan Merrett's laptop useless), it seems that ''{{fanon}}'' is the best weapon. And so the stage is set for a grand [[MassiveMultiplayerCrossover multi-universe]] showdown between our heroes and the forces of the Plot Hole. Eventually, the AnthropomorphicPersonification of bad writing is defeated, but the only way the Primarchs can salvage the mess left behind is to DELETE THE LAST 80 CHAPTERS OF THE STORY, much to the Narrator's chagrin.

to:

The P*R*I*M*A*R*C*H*S story begins with the titular {{super soldier}}s getting together in a pub in the Eye of Terror, and bemoaning the fact that they never get coverage in the official Games Workshop background any more. Uniting under their father the [[strike:Emperor]] [[AC:Emperor of Mankind!]], the dysfunctional family resolve to strike back at the forces of {{Retcon}} that are ruining their grimdark universe, and to do this by defeating the gratuitously-shoehorned C'tan and putting them back in their place. Things get worse, however, when they discover that the C'tan have nothing less than a full-blown GenreShift on their minds, and are planning to sell the [=40K=] franchise to another company who want to Japanify it into something more marketable to kids (cue cameo by Aerith of FinalFantasy ''Franchise/FinalFantasy'' fame, among others). By a VERY circuitous route, and picking up [[LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters many secondary characters]] along the way, the Primarchs eventually collect the {{Plot Coupon}}s they need to access the laptop of GW fluff-writer Alan Merrett. A final battle with the C'tan to decide the future of the [=40K=] franchise follows...

After the conclusion of the Retcon arc, the 18 canon Primarchs are reunited with their 2 missing siblings - [[TheSlacker Carl]], who was too lazy to lead his space marine legion in the Great Crusade, and [[LadyOfWar Hecate]], who was forcibly removed due to fan rage at the concept of female space marines. But a new threat looms, for despite the grimdark of their universe being restored, the constant retconning of background has left the franchise rife with inconsistencies. An EldritchAbomination known only as the Plot Hole is now invading - after chewing its way through other universes such as VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft, FinalFantasy, Franchise/FinalFantasy, StarWars and Franchise/HarryPotter - and has an army of characters from these devoured franchises at its disposal. Martialing their own forces, the Primarchs meet the new enemy head on with all the subtlety you can expect from a team of {{God Mode Sue}}s. Highlights include time travel, Alpharius privatising the Tau Empire, and Horus hitting the Death Star with a baseball bat (yes, [[StarWars that]] Death Star). But against an enemy that can [[AssPull rewrite the story]] to its own advantage, how can the Primarchs prevail? Why, with [[ThisWiki the Tome of Tropes]] of course. Against a creature that devours {{canon}} (making Alan Merrett's laptop useless), it seems that ''{{fanon}}'' is the best weapon. And so the stage is set for a grand [[MassiveMultiplayerCrossover multi-universe]] showdown between our heroes and the forces of the Plot Hole. Eventually, the AnthropomorphicPersonification of bad writing is defeated, but the only way the Primarchs can salvage the mess left behind is to DELETE THE LAST 80 CHAPTERS OF THE STORY, much to the Narrator's chagrin.



* TheCameo: C S Goto "guest narrates" one chapter. Several other authors appear (in the style of FinalFantasy summonings) during the battle against the Nightbringer.

to:

* TheCameo: C S Goto "guest narrates" one chapter. Several other authors appear (in the style of FinalFantasy Franchise/FinalFantasy summonings) during the battle against the Nightbringer.



* {{Crossover}}: Most notably with VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft, but FinalFantasy, {{Starcraft}} and TabletopGame/{{Warhammer}} also feature. Not to mention the dozens of universes that become involved in the Plot Hole arc.

to:

* {{Crossover}}: Most notably with VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft, but FinalFantasy, ''Franchise/FinalFantasy'', {{Starcraft}} and TabletopGame/{{Warhammer}} also feature. Not to mention the dozens of universes that become involved in the Plot Hole arc.



** Lion'el Jonson combines both the EmoTeen and FinalFantasy sides of his personality in a {{BFS}} that screams "[[LinkinPark CRAAAAWLING IIIIIN MY SKIIIIN!]]" when he draws it.

to:

** Lion'el Jonson combines both the EmoTeen and FinalFantasy ''Franchise/FinalFantasy'' sides of his personality in a {{BFS}} that screams "[[LinkinPark CRAAAAWLING IIIIIN MY SKIIIIN!]]" when he draws it.
10th Jun '14 1:32:43 PM valar55
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The P*R*I*M*A*R*C*H*S story begins with the titular {{super soldier}}s getting together in a pub in the Eye of Terror, and bemoaning the fact that they never get coverage in the official Games Workshop background any more. Uniting under their father the [[strike:Emperor]] [[AC:Emperor of Mankind!]], the disfunctional family resolve to strike back at the forces of {{Retcon}} that are ruining their grimdark universe, and to do this by defeating the gratuitously-shoehorned C'tan and putting them back in their place. Things get worse, however, when they discover that the C'tan have nothing less than a full-blown GenreShift on their minds, and are planning to sell the [=40K=] franchise to another company who want to Japanify it into something more marketable to kids (cue cameo by Aerith of FinalFantasy fame, among others). By a VERY circuitous route, and picking up [[LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters many secondary characters]] along the way, the Primarchs eventually collect the {{Plot Coupon}}s they need to access the laptop of GW fluff-writer Alan Merrett. A final battle with the C'tan to decide the future of the [=40K=] franchise follows...

to:

The P*R*I*M*A*R*C*H*S story begins with the titular {{super soldier}}s getting together in a pub in the Eye of Terror, and bemoaning the fact that they never get coverage in the official Games Workshop background any more. Uniting under their father the [[strike:Emperor]] [[AC:Emperor of Mankind!]], the disfunctional dysfunctional family resolve to strike back at the forces of {{Retcon}} that are ruining their grimdark universe, and to do this by defeating the gratuitously-shoehorned C'tan and putting them back in their place. Things get worse, however, when they discover that the C'tan have nothing less than a full-blown GenreShift on their minds, and are planning to sell the [=40K=] franchise to another company who want to Japanify it into something more marketable to kids (cue cameo by Aerith of FinalFantasy fame, among others). By a VERY circuitous route, and picking up [[LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters many secondary characters]] along the way, the Primarchs eventually collect the {{Plot Coupon}}s they need to access the laptop of GW fluff-writer Alan Merrett. A final battle with the C'tan to decide the future of the [=40K=] franchise follows...
15th Feb '14 12:13:47 PM m8e
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** In a more recurring shout out, the captains of Vulcan's Salamanders chapter are called [[ChuckNorris Captain Norris]], [[Series/TwentyFour Captain Bauer]] and [[SamuelLJackson Captain L Jackson]].

to:

** In a more recurring shout out, the captains of Vulcan's Salamanders chapter are called [[ChuckNorris Captain Norris]], [[Series/TwentyFour Captain Bauer]] and [[SamuelLJackson [[Creator/SamuelLJackson Captain L Jackson]].
14th Oct '13 11:00:08 AM JIKTV
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* [=CanonDiscontinuity=]: Technically, the entire second arc. Made so by the ''characters themselves''.

to:

* [=CanonDiscontinuity=]: CanonDiscontinuity: Technically, the entire second arc. Made so by the ''characters themselves''.



** Well, can you blame him when they constantly [[RunningTheAsylum hijack the plot]] and [[[=CanonDisContinuity=] delete his work]]?

to:

** Well, can you blame him when they constantly [[RunningTheAsylum hijack the plot]] and [[[=CanonDisContinuity=] [[CanonDiscontinuity delete his work]]?
14th Oct '13 10:59:37 AM JIKTV
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* CanonDiscontinuity: Technically, the entire second arc. Made so by the ''characters themselves''.

to:

* CanonDiscontinuity: [=CanonDiscontinuity=]: Technically, the entire second arc. Made so by the ''characters themselves''.



** Well, can you blame him when they constantly [[RunningTheAsylum hijack the plot]] and [[CanonDisContinuity delete his work]]?

to:

** Well, can you blame him when they constantly [[RunningTheAsylum hijack the plot]] and [[CanonDisContinuity [[[=CanonDisContinuity=] delete his work]]?
17th Jul '13 10:43:27 PM nombretomado
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After the conclusion of the Retcon arc, the 18 canon Primarchs are reunited with their 2 missing siblings - [[TheSlacker Carl]], who was too lazy to lead his space marine legion in the Great Crusade, and [[LadyOfWar Hecate]], who was forcibly removed due to fan rage at the concept of female space marines. But a new threat looms, for despite the grimdark of their universe being restored, the constant retconning of background has left the franchise rife with inconsistencies. An EldritchAbomination known only as the Plot Hole is now invading - after chewing its way through other universes such as VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft, FinalFantasy, StarWars and HarryPotter - and has an army of characters from these devoured franchises at its disposal. Martialing their own forces, the Primarchs meet the new enemy head on with all the subtlety you can expect from a team of {{God Mode Sue}}s. Highlights include time travel, Alpharius privatising the Tau Empire, and Horus hitting the Death Star with a baseball bat (yes, [[StarWars that]] Death Star). But against an enemy that can [[AssPull rewrite the story]] to its own advantage, how can the Primarchs prevail? Why, with [[ThisWiki the Tome of Tropes]] of course. Against a creature that devours {{canon}} (making Alan Merrett's laptop useless), it seems that ''{{fanon}}'' is the best weapon. And so the stage is set for a grand [[MassiveMultiplayerCrossover multi-universe]] showdown between our heroes and the forces of the Plot Hole. Eventually, the AnthropomorphicPersonification of bad writing is defeated, but the only way the Primarchs can salvage the mess left behind is to DELETE THE LAST 80 CHAPTERS OF THE STORY, much to the Narrator's chagrin.

to:

After the conclusion of the Retcon arc, the 18 canon Primarchs are reunited with their 2 missing siblings - [[TheSlacker Carl]], who was too lazy to lead his space marine legion in the Great Crusade, and [[LadyOfWar Hecate]], who was forcibly removed due to fan rage at the concept of female space marines. But a new threat looms, for despite the grimdark of their universe being restored, the constant retconning of background has left the franchise rife with inconsistencies. An EldritchAbomination known only as the Plot Hole is now invading - after chewing its way through other universes such as VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft, FinalFantasy, StarWars and HarryPotter Franchise/HarryPotter - and has an army of characters from these devoured franchises at its disposal. Martialing their own forces, the Primarchs meet the new enemy head on with all the subtlety you can expect from a team of {{God Mode Sue}}s. Highlights include time travel, Alpharius privatising the Tau Empire, and Horus hitting the Death Star with a baseball bat (yes, [[StarWars that]] Death Star). But against an enemy that can [[AssPull rewrite the story]] to its own advantage, how can the Primarchs prevail? Why, with [[ThisWiki the Tome of Tropes]] of course. Against a creature that devours {{canon}} (making Alan Merrett's laptop useless), it seems that ''{{fanon}}'' is the best weapon. And so the stage is set for a grand [[MassiveMultiplayerCrossover multi-universe]] showdown between our heroes and the forces of the Plot Hole. Eventually, the AnthropomorphicPersonification of bad writing is defeated, but the only way the Primarchs can salvage the mess left behind is to DELETE THE LAST 80 CHAPTERS OF THE STORY, much to the Narrator's chagrin.
29th May '13 3:01:05 PM DARTHYAN
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Added DiffLines:

* NoodleIncident: Whatever it was that Horus did over the summer.
This list shows the last 10 events of 36. Show all.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Fanfic.PRIMARCHS