History Characters / SchlockMercenary

7th Jan '17 8:33:28 PM Gamermaster
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* NestedOwnership: He needs teams of accountants to keep track of the teams of accountants needed to keep track of all his money.
24th Dec '16 6:20:34 PM ReplacementSquark
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* TheCreon: Has apparently said that if he is ever promoted an inch above Chief Warrant Officer, he'll quit.

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* TheCreon: Has apparently said that if he is ever promoted an inch above Chief Warrant Officer, he'll quit. He eventually accepts a promotion to Commander as Kevin's XO after the company expands.
9th Dec '16 8:54:42 PM yarrunmace
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A human scientist and officer who serves as Tagon's effective second-in-command. Kevyn is he genius behind the development of the teraport, as well as a multitude of other inventions. Though not as confident in command as Tagon, nor as competent a fighter, Kevyn is arguably one of the most dangerous of the Toughs because of his intellect and willingness to create truly terrifying weaponry. Toting antimatter bombs on one's shoulders also helps in a pinch.

A second Kevyn exists due to time travel shenanigans. He does not serve with the Toughs, instead devoting himself to pure research and living next door to retired general Karl Tagon, Kaff Tagon's father.

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A human scientist and officer who serves as Tagon's effective second-in-command. Kevyn is he the genius behind the development of the teraport, as well as a multitude of other inventions. Though not as confident in command as Tagon, nor as competent a fighter, Kevyn is arguably one of the most dangerous of the Toughs because of his intellect and willingness to create truly terrifying weaponry. Toting antimatter bombs on one's shoulders also helps in a pinch.

A second Kevyn exists due to time travel shenanigans. He does not serve with the Toughs, instead devoting himself to pure research and living research. Initially, he decides to retire next door to retired general Karl Tagon, Kaff Captain Tagon's father.
father, General Karl Tagon, but eventually he [[spoiler:volunteers to help Petey fight the Pa'anuri]]



* OneManIndustrialRevolution: He invented the teraport and pretty much changed the whole interstellar ball game: it's amazing how much new tech used and taken for granted in the comic is based off the teraport.

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* OneManIndustrialRevolution: He invented the teraport and pretty much changed the whole interstellar ball game: game; it's amazing how much new tech used and taken for granted in the comic is based off the teraport.
25th Oct '16 9:16:02 AM dlchen145
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** [[{{Badass}} Thank you]]. [[OhCrap Now]] ''[[{{Determinator}} I]]'' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck have]] [[RoaringRampageOfRevenge a]] [[GoryDiscretionShot knife]].

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** [[{{Badass}} Thank you]].you. [[OhCrap Now]] ''[[{{Determinator}} I]]'' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck have]] [[RoaringRampageOfRevenge a]] [[GoryDiscretionShot knife]].



* MadeOfIron: Many of Tagon's mercenaries have various artificially-induced boosts to their strength and endurance, but lately Tagon has been particularly BadAss. Bad guy throws a knife and [[EyeScream sticks Tagon in the eye with it.]] Tagon [[{{Squick}} pulls it out of his socket]] and uses it to kill the bad guys.

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* MadeOfIron: Many of Tagon's mercenaries have various artificially-induced boosts to their strength and endurance, but lately Tagon has been particularly BadAss.badass. Bad guy throws a knife and [[EyeScream sticks Tagon in the eye with it.]] Tagon [[{{Squick}} pulls it out of his socket]] and uses it to kill the bad guys.



* {{Badass}}: okay, she can't fight. But she's so confident in her ability to subvert robots from the enemy that when a criminal fires a gun at her from close range she doesn't even blink--[[CrowningMomentOfAwesome because she knows that one of her newly-befriended combat bots will catch the bullet.]]



* {{Badass}}: Oh so much. Don't underestimate this guy, he may look like an amorphous blob, but he is capable of performing incredible feats of strength, speed, and agility. He's faster than he looks, and stronger as well.



* Badass: One large, angry polar bear with no weapons beyond his teeth and claws, versus a room full of armed human police officers [[spoiler:brain-jacked by hostile nanites.]] [[MadeOfIron Sixty-one bullet holes later,]] scratch one room full of armed police officers. Naturally, Landon survives.
17th Sep '16 8:49:34 PM Ambaryerno
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* ColonelBadass: While technically a captain, Kaff Tagon is certainly this when he decides that its time to get dangerous. After getting [[EyeScream a hidden knife thrown into his eye]] he responds by pulling it out and thanking the thrower for arming him. Then going after him. Moments later we're treated to him trying to use his comm device, complaining that they can't make a touchscreen that still works when covered in blood.

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* ColonelBadass: While technically a captain, (although a naval captain is of roughly equivalent rank to colonel so it still fits) Kaff Tagon is certainly this when he decides that its time to get dangerous. After getting [[EyeScream a hidden knife thrown into his eye]] he responds by pulling it out and thanking the thrower for arming him. Then going after him. Moments later we're treated to him trying to use his comm device, complaining that they can't make a touchscreen that still works when covered in blood.
17th Sep '16 6:15:08 PM aidreamer
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* HeroicSacrifice: [[spoiler:When the Esspererin betray the Toughs, he detonates a ship to ship warhead with himself in the blast radius to prevent them from overrunning the ship.]]
26th Aug '16 12:10:35 PM Adeon
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** While he's willing to eat [[ExtremeOmnivore just about anything]] he actually has a [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-05-10 surprisingly discerning palette]].
21st Jul '16 4:57:42 PM Ferot_Dreadnaught
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* CombatPragmatist: Even more so than the Toughs. She even once defeated Schlock by splattering him with a fire hose and [[GenreSavvy then putting him in separate bags]].

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* CombatPragmatist: Even more so than the Toughs. She even once defeated Schlock by splattering him with a fire hose and [[GenreSavvy then putting him in separate bags]].bags.



** He's an unrepentant bastard who outsmarts the entire company (including two AIs) and is [[DangerouslyGenreSavvy intelligent enough to kill his enemies as soon as possible]] (and then drop their remains in the incinerator)]], but he just makes you laugh. For example:

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** He's an unrepentant bastard who outsmarts the entire company (including two AIs) and is [[DangerouslyGenreSavvy intelligent enough to kill his enemies as soon as possible]] possible (and then drop their remains in the incinerator)]], but he just makes you laugh. For example:



%%* DangerouslyGenreSavvy



* DangerouslyGenreSavvy: She remembers what happened to ''Tunguska'', and that [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-03-19 her predecessor]] somehow vanished (presumed dead) right in his quarters in the middle of a battleplate, and thus prefers to avoid unnecessary risks. [[spoiler: Unfortunately, however, she's ultimately not Genre Savvy enough to make sure her subordinates care enough about her to save her life [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-12-21 from an exploding battleplate.]]]]
10th Jul '16 9:23:39 AM Discar
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* YourAnswerToEverything: Tagon calls him on is tendancy to try to solve every problem with martial-arts. Not that he minds; after all, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-03-08 "martial arts training is a really, really useful hammer]].

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* YourAnswerToEverything: Tagon calls him on is tendancy tendency to try to solve every problem with martial-arts. Not that he minds; after all, [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-03-08 "martial arts training is a really, really useful hammer]].



--->'''Kevyn:''' I can't help but wonder whether you're able to function in society.\\

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--->'''Kevyn:''' -->'''Kevyn:''' I can't help but wonder whether you're able to function in society.\\



-->'''[[http://schlockmercenary.com/d/20100918.html I AM A SURGEON.]]'''

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-->'''[[http://schlockmercenary.-->'''Tailor:''' ''[[http://schlockmercenary.com/d/20100918.html I AM A SURGEON.]]''']]''



--> ''I'll warn you, this'' (whisk arm) ''has a frappe setting.''

to:

--> ''I'll -->'''Ch'vorthq:''' I'll warn you, this'' (whisk arm) ''has this has a frappe setting.''



* TryToFitThatOnABusinessCard
-->'''[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-02-15 Lota]]''': You should call me Lota, Longshoreman of the Apocalypse. Hero of the Stationwaist, Foodlord of the Eatonrun... Portlord of the Poles, Grand Marshall, and King of the Second Age of the Free City State of Credomar! You may use pronouns, but only occasionally.

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* TryToFitThatOnABusinessCard
-->'''[[http://www.
TryToFitThatOnABusinessCard: [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-02-15 Lota]]''': Here.]]
-->'''Lota''':
You should call me Lota, Longshoreman of the Apocalypse. Hero of the Stationwaist, Foodlord of the Eatonrun... Portlord of the Poles, Grand Marshall, and King of the Second Age of the Free City State of Credomar! You may use pronouns, but only occasionally.



* ManipulativeBastard: Just because he's doing it ForYourOwnGood doesn't mean he won't get on your nerves when you figure out that he's been manipulating you. [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-05-27 As the narrator puts it...]]
--> He is philantropic, benevolent and cuddly, but he is never '''not''' playing you.

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* ManipulativeBastard: Just because he's doing it ForYourOwnGood doesn't mean he won't get on your nerves when you figure out that he's been manipulating you. [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-05-27 As the narrator puts it...]]
-->
figure out that he's been manipulating you]].
-->'''Narrator:'''
He is philantropic, benevolent and cuddly, but he is never '''not''' playing you.



--> '''Shufgar''' (Speaking about a subordinate killed by Kevyn) He was like a son to me. \\

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--> ---> '''Shufgar''' (Speaking about a subordinate killed by Kevyn) He was like a son to me. \\



--> '''Shufgar''': Let them know the human is armed, dangerous... and ''undead.''

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--> ---> '''Shufgar''': Let them know the human is armed, dangerous... and ''undead.''
18th May '16 8:23:23 PM Discar
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* MeaningfulName:
** "Pius Dei" means "Dutiful God." Fitting for an entity that [[WithGreatPower acts as he believes a god would]].
** The name for his domain as a whole, "Plenipotent Dominion," means "Overpowered Empire." Petey is not subtle.
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