History Analysis / HumansAreCthulhu

30th Sep '17 7:24:20 PM Thesedaysthosedays
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** The unnaturalness of cooking. Many major crops, like corn and rice for example, are quite inedible when raw, and most of our fellow mammals will agree with this. But humans still spend years of their lives producing these inedible vegetable products, and making them edible by a mysterious process involving fire...and lots of water, and [[EyeOfNewt specialized substances that are governed by arcane rules of chemistry]]. And as useful as cooking is when eating vegetables, it's even more vital when it comes to meat. Raw meat is the favorite food of many, many carnivores, and it's edible enough that even a supposedly herbivorous animal will often give it a try. But humans will get sick if they eat meat without a cooking process to make it even more palatable and safe from diseases. At which point meat goes right back to being the delicacy it is for the other animals.
2nd Sep '17 6:54:21 AM XFllo
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* Isn't it very uncanny that the octopus, the Cthulhu of the animal kingdom, ''[[InSovietRussiaTropeMocksYou is eaten by us]]''?

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* Isn't it very uncanny that the octopus, the Cthulhu of the animal kingdom, ''[[InSovietRussiaTropeMocksYou ''[[RussianReversal is eaten by us]]''?
6th Jul '17 7:58:05 PM trumpetmarietta
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* Talking birds (parrots, for instance): To put it succinctly, what we hear as "Polly want a cracker" is probably "IA IA HUMANS FHTAGN" to themselves and other animals. In other words, parrots and other talking birds are the "dark cultists" of the animal world.

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* Talking birds (parrots, for instance): To put it succinctly, what we hear as "Polly want a cracker" is probably "IA IA "IÄ IÄ HUMANS FHTAGN" to themselves and other animals. In other words, parrots and other talking birds are the "dark cultists" of the animal world.
1st Jun '17 5:59:01 AM IzaiahSalter
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[[NightmareFuel Might wanna look into]] [[GoMadFromTheRevelation some therapy after reading this.]]
25th Jan '17 10:37:16 AM NoSpoilerz
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** Actually, animals getting along well and being affectionate with each other outside of naturally evolved symbiotic relationships has been observed on occasion... [[HumanityIsInfectious but only in captivity]], as far as I know.

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** Actually, animals getting along well and being affectionate with each other outside of naturally evolved symbiotic relationships has been observed on occasion... [[HumanityIsInfectious but only in captivity]], as far as I we know.
5th Dec '16 2:14:36 PM haxxr
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2nd Dec '16 1:16:50 PM Nargrakhan
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** Of course, the environment of those aliens would be just as deadly to us as ours is to them...

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** Of course, Humans use the environment of those aliens would be just as deadly most lethal toxin known on our planet, ''botulinum toxin'', to us as ours is to them...
fix skin wrinkles. It's commercially better known as: ''Botox''.
16th Oct '16 11:53:00 AM Monolaf317
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** Oh, and those bipedal naked things that somehow ruled the world? They are the descendants of those little furry things that you either ate or barely paid attention to. It's the dinosaur equivalent of the Franchise/PlanetOfTheApes, only much worse.

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** Oh, and those bipedal naked things that somehow ruled the world? They are the descendants of those little furry things that you either ate or barely paid attention to. It's the dinosaur equivalent of the Franchise/PlanetOfTheApes, only much worse.worse.
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27th Sep '16 8:06:02 PM Luigifan
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* An EldritchAbomination is, as one of defining traits, [[YouKeepUsingThatWord Inconceivable]], not just something unfamiliar, but an insane mockery of natural law altogether. Come down to the animal world, where species use basically the same behavior patterns for ages. A usual predator will have his senses, one, two built-in weapons and some tenth' offensive maneuvers at all in his arsenal, mostly relying on less then that. He, or his prey, will also have about the same limited amount of countermeasures, that again stay the same across generations, while being determined by natural selection if his species is the fittest and maintaining the overall balance of the ecosystem. Here comes the Inconceivable: it's one giant melee fang (and probably a sturdy carapace) in the morning, no such fang but a tamed fire that kills from afar in the afternoon, warping the world, natural selection and the laws of the universe themselves so that EverythingIsTryingToKillYou, and if nothing of that works, expect a full new bag of tricks tomorrow, and another after that, and another. We're talking what, hundreds, thousands weapons and absolute uncountable amount of patterns, all wielded by one squishy species and changed ''at will''? [[IncrediblyLamePun This is madness!]]([[MemeticMutation Yes, yes, we know.]] [[PunctuatedForEmphasis This. Is. Humanity!]])

to:

* An EldritchAbomination is, as one of its defining traits, [[YouKeepUsingThatWord Inconceivable]], not just something unfamiliar, but an insane mockery of natural law altogether. Come down to the animal world, where species use basically the same behavior patterns for ages. A usual predator will have his senses, one, two built-in weapons and some tenth' tenth offensive maneuvers at all in his arsenal, mostly relying on less then that. He, or his prey, will also have about the same limited amount of countermeasures, that again stay the same across generations, while being determined by natural selection if his species is the fittest and maintaining the overall balance of the ecosystem. Here comes the Inconceivable: it's one giant melee fang (and probably a sturdy carapace) in the morning, no such fang but a tamed fire that kills from afar in the afternoon, warping the world, natural selection and the laws of the universe themselves so that EverythingIsTryingToKillYou, and if nothing of that works, expect a full new bag of tricks tomorrow, and another after that, and another. We're talking what, hundreds, thousands of weapons and absolute uncountable amount of patterns, all wielded by one squishy species and changed ''at will''? [[IncrediblyLamePun This is madness!]]([[MemeticMutation madness!]] ([[MemeticMutation Yes, yes, we know.]] [[PunctuatedForEmphasis This. Is. Humanity!]])



** Actually animals getting along well and being affectionate with each other outside of naturally evolved symbiotic relationships has been observed on occasion... [[HumanityIsInfectious but only in captivity]], as far as I know.

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** Actually Actually, animals getting along well and being affectionate with each other outside of naturally evolved symbiotic relationships has been observed on occasion... [[HumanityIsInfectious but only in captivity]], as far as I know.



* To large, dangerous animals, or animals that use venom, humans would be {{Squishy Wizard}}s. Yes, the humans can warp the environment to their whim, kill from a distance, turn night into day and make fire, but get in close enough to use claws, fangs or poison, and they die like any other prey...

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* To large, dangerous animals, or animals that use venom, humans would be {{Squishy Wizard}}s. Yes, the humans can warp the environment to their whim, kill from a distance, turn night into day day, and make fire, but get in close enough to use claws, fangs fangs, or poison, and they die like any other prey...



** Even if larger or venomous animals ''could'' take down a single human (and there are many of them that could) they probably won't. Most animals--even big freakin' predators like bears and sharks--place humans high on their "DO NOT TOUCH" list. They might observe us, they might even put on a show to try and scare us; but when push comes to shove, most animals are hesitant to attack us unless we provoke them first. Why would you willingly pick a fight with '''Cthulhu?'''

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** Even if larger or venomous animals ''could'' take down a single human (and there are many of them that could) could), they probably won't. Most animals--even animals -- even big freakin' predators like bears and sharks--place sharks -- place humans high on their "DO NOT TOUCH" list. They might observe us, they might even put on a show to try and scare us; but when push comes to shove, most animals are hesitant to attack us unless we provoke them first. Why would you willingly pick a fight with '''Cthulhu?'''



*** Bear in mind that we took wolves and bred them to create dogs in the first place. Unlike with other tamed animals the behaviours we look for aren't any more unnatural than the dogs themselves, they're the ones we bred for.
** Then again the reason we keep them around (nowadays at least, when they aren't working dogs) is because of their comforting loyalty and easily met needs, compared to neurotic self-centred humans. ''Some'' people keep them because they get a kick out of dominating another being's life, but not ''most'' people.

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*** Bear in mind that we took wolves and bred them to create dogs in the first place. Unlike with other tamed animals animals, the behaviours we look for aren't any more unnatural than the dogs themselves, they're the ones we bred for.
** Then again again, the reason we keep them around (nowadays at least, when they aren't working dogs) is because of their comforting loyalty and easily met needs, compared to neurotic self-centred humans. ''Some'' people keep them because they get a kick out of dominating another being's life, but not ''most'' people.



*** The big cats (including lions) that once lived in Europe and Asia probably thought we are goofy, too, until they were all hunted down with just bows, arrows and spears.
** And of course, there's the pampering, hugging, playing, giving treats and making a huge fuss over the pet when it does something right aspect of the relationship as well. Godlike-beings we may be, but in healthy human-pet relationships it's certainly not an unloving/unloved one.

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*** The big cats (including lions) that once lived in Europe and Asia probably thought we are goofy, too, until they were all hunted down with just bows, arrows arrows, and spears.
** And of course, there's the pampering, hugging, playing, giving treats treats, and making a huge fuss over the pet when it does something right aspect of the relationship as well. Godlike-beings we may be, but in healthy human-pet relationships it's certainly not an unloving/unloved one.



* Actually it is quite common that HumansAreCthulhu [[Theatre/NoExit to other people]]. That is how a ConspiracyTheory comes about, and why this trope fits in our imagination so easily.

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* Actually Actually, it is quite common that HumansAreCthulhu [[Theatre/NoExit to other people]]. That is how a ConspiracyTheory comes about, and why this trope fits in our imagination so easily.



* Naturally, we have yet to discover aliens. However there's a lot of research dedicated to learning what kinds of alien life can conceivably exist, so long as the basic laws of molecular biology as we understand it apply throughout the cosmos. This line of thought introduces ideas such as aliens that require ammonia or formaldehyde instead of water and using nitrogen or phosphorus instead of carbon. However the type of environmental conditions for such elements and chemicals to sustain the basic principles of cellular life, as we understand it, are quite bizarre. How does this fit the trope? Well depending on the "alternative combinations" involved, to these theoretical life forms: our homeworld becomes a boiling vat of caustic gasses, the liquids that flow through our veins are flesh melting corrosive acids, the atmospheric pressure we move gracefully through would crush their skeletons (endo or exo) into paste, and the mere sound of our voice could rupture organs (it being a form of kinetic energy).

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* Naturally, we have yet to discover aliens. However However, there's a lot of research dedicated to learning what kinds of alien life can conceivably exist, so long as the basic laws of molecular biology as we understand it apply throughout the cosmos. This line of thought introduces ideas such as aliens that require ammonia or formaldehyde instead of water and using nitrogen or phosphorus instead of carbon. However However, the type of environmental conditions for such elements and chemicals to sustain the basic principles of cellular life, as we understand it, are quite bizarre. How does this fit the trope? Well Well, depending on the "alternative combinations" involved, to these theoretical life forms: our homeworld becomes a boiling vat of caustic gasses, the liquids that flow through our veins are flesh melting corrosive acids, the atmospheric pressure we move gracefully through would crush their skeletons (endo or exo) into paste, and the mere sound of our voice could rupture organs (it being a form of kinetic energy).



* Skunks' major defense is their stink gland. Skunks' most common cause of premature death in developed areas is getting run over by a car. Cars, of course, are exclusively engineered, built, maintained and driven by humans. What human has ''ever'' smelled skunk stink while driving and thought "I'd better stop the car"?
** Generally by the time the driver can smell it, it's already too late for the skunk (and, by the way, the car).

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* Skunks' major defense is their stink gland. Skunks' most common cause of premature death in developed areas is getting run over by a car. Cars, of course, are exclusively engineered, built, maintained maintained, and driven by humans. What human has ''ever'' smelled skunk stink while driving and thought "I'd better stop the car"?
** Generally Generally, by the time the driver can smell it, it's already too late for the skunk (and, by the way, the car).



* From an Animal's point of view. Humans live much longer lives than they do, like the Fair Folk, a Human's Lifespan can number all the way to 122 years, most animals can only live for 10,20,30,40 years at best, it like hamsters they live for only Two to Four years at a time, but to a human they are as mayflies, so to most animals we would be Really 700 years old on account of 122 year lifespan.

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* From an Animal's point of view. Humans live much longer lives than they do, like the Fair Folk, a Human's Lifespan can number all the way to 122 years, most animals can only live for 10,20,30,40 10, 20, 30, 40 years at best, it like hamsters they live for only Two to Four years at a time, but to a human they are as mayflies, so to most animals we would be Really 700 years old on account of 122 year lifespan.



** Look at it from this perspective; imagine coming across one of these larger-than-life beings. All is good, right? You aren't in it's way, right? Then this thing friggin' ''looks down at you'', before a look of disgust crosses it's face and either crushes you under it's foot or leans down to crush you with one of five appendages attached to another appendage. These colossal abominations see you as nothing more than a pest and will gladly obliterate you on sight.

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** Look at it from this perspective; imagine coming across one of these larger-than-life beings. All is good, right? You aren't in it's its way, right? Then this thing friggin' ''looks down at you'', before a look of disgust crosses it's its face and either crushes you under it's its foot or leans down to crush you with one of five appendages attached to another appendage. These colossal abominations see you as nothing more than a pest and will gladly obliterate you on sight.
*** Or it picks you up and drops you into a gigantic pool of water, and as you helplessly flail around, struggling for air, the water suddenly begins swirling around and sucks you into a gigantic tunnel, never to be seen again... (Or, if it's feeling ''really'' mean, it drops you into the nearest spiderweb and lets the spider do you in.)



** Whales communicate through sub-sonic vibrations-basically SONAR if it were for talking. A whale hearing an attack submarine must be like us hearing some creepy hobo chattering nonsense.

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** Whales communicate through sub-sonic vibrations-basically vibrations -- basically SONAR if it were for talking. A whale hearing an attack submarine must be like us hearing some creepy hobo chattering nonsense.



** And ponder why we do it. Most animals are opportunistic eaters; they will take sustenance when and wherever they can, so long as its edible. But humans have mastered their environment to such a degree that they have the luxury of choice. They can have whatever they want, whenever they want, limited only by factors (ie. money, storage space, etc.) the average non-sentient animal can barely wrap its head around. They even have the power to selectively breed plants and animals to match their preferences in flavor. Humans have access to so much food, in such variety, that they often simply get bored. Eating for humans is not a mere necessity: it's a game. We will look for the next thrill, the next new sensation, something unusual, dangerous, or just plain different. And if we can't find it, we still won't starve, because there's always something in the cupboard.

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** And ponder why we do it. Most animals are opportunistic eaters; they will take sustenance when and wherever they can, so long as its it's edible. But humans have mastered their environment to such a degree that they have the luxury of choice. They can have whatever they want, whenever they want, limited only by factors (ie. money, storage space, etc.) the average non-sentient animal can barely wrap its head around. They even have the power to selectively breed plants and animals to match their preferences in flavor. Humans have access to so much food, in such variety, that they often simply get bored. Eating for humans is not a mere necessity: it's a game. We will look for the next thrill, the next new sensation, something unusual, dangerous, or just plain different. And if we can't find it, we still won't starve, because there's always something in the cupboard.
7th Sep '16 8:03:49 PM AHI-3000
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* An EldritchAbomination is, as one of defining traits, [[YouKeepUsingThatWord Inconceivable]], not just something unfamiliar, but an insane mockery of natural law altogether. Come down to the animal world, where species use basically the same behavior patterns for ages. A usual predator will have his senses, one, two built-in weapons and some tenth' offensive maneuvers at all in his arsenal, mostly relying on less then that. He, or his prey, will also have about the same limited amount of countermeasures, that again stay the same across generations, while being determined by natural selection if his species is the fittest and maintaining the overall balance of the ecosystem. Here comes the Inconceivable: it's one giant melee fang (and probably a sturdy carapace) in the morning, no such fang but a tamed fire that kills from afar in the afternoon, warping the world, natural selection and the laws of the universe themselves so that EverythingIsTryingToKillYou, and if nothing of that works, expect a full new bag of tricks tomorrow, and another after that, and another. We're talking what, hundreds, thousands weapons and absolute uncountable amount of patterns, all wielded by one squishy species and changed ''at will''? [[IncrediblyLamePun This is madness!]]
([[MemeticMutation Yes, yes, we know.]] [[PunctuatedForEmphasis This. Is. Humanity!]])

to:

* An EldritchAbomination is, as one of defining traits, [[YouKeepUsingThatWord Inconceivable]], not just something unfamiliar, but an insane mockery of natural law altogether. Come down to the animal world, where species use basically the same behavior patterns for ages. A usual predator will have his senses, one, two built-in weapons and some tenth' offensive maneuvers at all in his arsenal, mostly relying on less then that. He, or his prey, will also have about the same limited amount of countermeasures, that again stay the same across generations, while being determined by natural selection if his species is the fittest and maintaining the overall balance of the ecosystem. Here comes the Inconceivable: it's one giant melee fang (and probably a sturdy carapace) in the morning, no such fang but a tamed fire that kills from afar in the afternoon, warping the world, natural selection and the laws of the universe themselves so that EverythingIsTryingToKillYou, and if nothing of that works, expect a full new bag of tricks tomorrow, and another after that, and another. We're talking what, hundreds, thousands weapons and absolute uncountable amount of patterns, all wielded by one squishy species and changed ''at will''? [[IncrediblyLamePun This is madness!]]
([[MemeticMutation
madness!]]([[MemeticMutation Yes, yes, we know.]] [[PunctuatedForEmphasis This. Is. Humanity!]])
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