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Pretty much copypastaed the list from TheOtherWiki, I leave it up to you guys to come up with wittier entries. I also couldn't find the relevant tropes for all of the strategies.

Working Title: The Thirty Six Strategems: From YKTTW
This sounds very much like the Nine Principles of War, as first codified in this particular form by the US Army War College in the 1920s.

Mass Concentrate combat power at the decisive place and time. Build up the largest and most powerful force possible to strike with the greatest force. Combat power does not only mean tanks and riflemen, it also means supplies, food, fuel, stockpiles of ammunition, everything they need to function in the field and go on the attack. "Amateurs think tactics. Professionals think logistics." —General Norman Schwarzkopf

Objective Direct every military operation towards a clearly defined, decisive, and attainable goal that advances the war effort and brings you closer to victory. This is the highest responsibility of commanders at all levels, from the field-marshal who commands an army group to the lieutenant who leads a platoon. Anything less than this is wasteful at best, treasonous at worst.

Offensive Seize, retain, and exploit the initiative. Attack, attack, attack whenever and wherever possible, in any and every way possible, by every route and means available. Don't waste time worrying about what the enemy commander might do. Attack aggressively, keep him off balance, and make him worry about what you might do. When forced onto the defensive locally, carry out raids and spoiling attacks to disrupt the enemy's preparations for an assault. Attack to seize more favorable terrain from which to conduct the tactical defense. Patrol aggressively. Maintain contact with the enemy at all costs. Be proactive, not reactive. Force your enemy to react to you. This gives you control of the battle and permits you to act against the enemy in the place, time, and manner of your choosing.

Surprise Strike the enemy at a time, at a place, or in a manner for which he is unprepared. Surprise is an event that takes place in the mind of the enemy commander, not on the battlefield. In order to do this it is essential to learn as much about the enemy as possible, his capabilities, his intentions, the manner in which he is likely to react.

Economy of force Allocate minimum essential combat power to secondary efforts, in order to build up troops, supplies, and other resources to strike the decisive blow (see Mass, above). In modern mechanized warfare this can mean that you hold most portions of the line with the absolute minimum possible deployment of troops and at every level retain a mobile reserve either to counter enemy attacks or to exploit advantageous circumstances that may suddenly appear.

Maneuver Place the enemy in a position of disadvantage through the flexible application of combat power. The Soviet encirclement of the German Sixth Army in Stalingrad is a prime example of this, as is Mac Arthur's amphibious landing at Inchon during the Korean War, in which an American army was put deep into North Korea, far behind the front lines, throwing the whole North Korean army into a panic. But maneuver does not only mean moving troops around on the ground. There is also maneuver of artillery fire, maneuver of air units, even maneuver of propaganda in which you may have the opportunity to exploit a new development or newly learned truth from the battlefield in a way that is advantageous to you. Attack the enemy where he is weak, not where he is strong. The Twentieth Century saw the evolution of mechanized warfare, allowing commanders to maneuver and concentrate their forces more rapidly than ever before. You may be able to move troops by motor vehicles, even by aircraft. The purpose is to allow you to strike the enemy suddenly and without warning with the most powerful force possible where he least expects it and where it will do the most damage.

Unity of command For every objective, ensure unity of effort under one responsible commander. At every level of organization there must be one and only one commander who has final authority to decide upon the course of action. War cannot be waged by a committee.

Security Never permit the enemy to acquire an unexpected advantage. Preventing the enemy from learning about your capabilities and intentions is every bit as important as learning these things about the enemy. Information is vital. Preventing the enemy from gaining information is equally vital. Deceive the enemy in every possible way about your intentions and your capabilities. Strive to appear strong where you are weak. Strive to appear weak where you are strong. Make your enemy think that you have many troops in places where you have few, and few troops in places where you have many. Deceive the enemy about your plans, even about the capabilities of your weaponry. This facilitates leading your foe into traps.

Simplicity Prepare clear, uncomplicated plans and clear, concise orders to ensure thorough understanding. The simple plan is the flexible plan. Plans requiring your forces to carry out complex movements under fire according to a strict timetable guarantee failure. As von Clausewitz noted, no battle plan survives first contact with the enemy. This does not mean that plans are worthless, but they must be as simple as possible to allow subordinate commanders the flexibility to carry them out and take decisive action even when unexpected events, either good or bad, take place on the battlefield.

And yes, one mnemonic taught to young US military officer candidates is MOOSE MUSS.